Hi guys if you’ve read any of my previous posts you’ll know I’ve been dealing with GAD health anxiety and ocd/ depression for two years now. Last night I tried going to bed much earlier to readjust my sleep pattern it didn’t work. But not for the usual reasons this tome it was because I realised the amount of awful terrible pathological lies I’ve told my whole adult life and couldn’t stop focusing on them all night. And that might be why my subconscious put its foot down and have me this chronic stress and anxiety. Here are some examples of the lies.
While in my first job I told my coworkers that I was doing a lot of comedy gigs when in reality I’d not find a single one
That I had a long term girlfriend and told lists of stories about dates we went on etc (she was a very close friend in reality)
I lied that one of my comedy friends (who didn’t exist) was on a warm up act Ona comedy show
I also lied to a small none league football club in the U.K that I was a former scout to get my self a trail when I was younger because I thought the town I lived in would never give me the chance and I had to find out if I was ever good enough turns out I wasn’t😂
But that made me realise that’s why I feel constantly stressed and have all this anxiety issues and where they come from and why I’m not sure about going into comedy because I’m not sure if it’s another lie. I’m a terrible awful person that’s why I have this
I’m not sure why I keep doing this to myself 
I became happy. I’m unhappy. 
I am a shitty person 
I’m a Horrible friend. Horrible person. 
Why is this happening?
