Eating Disorder & Depression

[linlinpoo]

I lost a lot of weight (80lb+) and after years of being over weight and struggling with my issues with food I finally got down to a healthy bmi, but I have even worse issues with food now and have developed an eating disorder. I am not bulimic but I have issues chewing and spitting my food out before I swallow it because I’m overwhelmed by the fear of gaining weight again. I am going to therapy but I’ve been fighting depression and my old ideals of emotionally eating or eating to feel better won’t go away so I often eat something and spit it out to dismiss the calories. It feels like a never ending cycle of depression, eating to feel better, worsening my fear of gaining weight, giving in to my eating disorder and depression again. I’ve been trying to exercise and be happier and try to busy myself with hobbies and school but it’s still really hard to get over this. I’m wondering if anyone has gone through something similar and have any advice on how to overcome it.

[Hidden]

I had an eating disorder for 13 years. I ended my disorder 6 years ago. What I mean by ended is, I got tired of my eating disorder controlling me or rather me trying hard everyday to control my eating disorder.

This is a long process and takes a very individualized approach and while I succeed in beating my disorder without therapy, there are those that need a lot more than sheer will to beat their disorder. There is nothing wrong with any problem in life too big for us to handle on our own and need to seek individualized treatment and planning to get better.

So while I cannot give specific advice, I can encourage you to seek a treatment doctor/team to help you overcome. You can maintain weight, you can learn to control your anxiety over food and all issues surrounding your disorder and depression as well.