..."Hello. I would like to introduce myself. I am the only person in the world who cannot recover from an eating disorder. No matter how hard I try or how desperately I want to let go of my eating disorder, I am doomed to fail. I will never get better. That was nearly twenty years ago. It turns out that I wasn’t so special after all, not the worst case scenario, and not the hopeless one. I am thrilled to say that I was not the lone ranger and that it did get better, in fact, much better..."
You are not alone. Do not feel hopeless. You are not the only one who doesn't recover from Anorexia. Honey, I am 56 and Anorexia took me at 14. For forty years I was seriously ill to it. I never sought treatment until age 50. Six years now I have been in treatment. I will always be. Every 2 months I see my doctor. She gave me life. I listen to all she said. I take a small dose of Sertraline a day and have for six years. It works great for obsessing over food and PTSD. You are not alone. My doctor said not many make it through treatment in full swing. Many people relapse and do it over for years. You have to be very strong. My doctor said you have to be a good fighter to take full control of this horrible illness. Now, I am stronger now. When I was dying and had a boney body I had to have lots of support from loved ones to fight. When the weight came on, I had to fight hard to keep it there. When my mind begins to heal, I had to be very strong. Two years ago, I begin to remember why I had become ill in the first place. Those memories are very painful. All those years, I had repressed each one. Now, I process each one as they come and release them. My deceased father had raped me from age of 5-11. I had 3 siblings and he raped them too. He was a violent man and not on drugs or alcohol. He was very brutal. My loving mother is 82 and doing well. She was married to my father for 40 years. One day she had enough and divorced at 60 years old. She should have long before. The day when I went to dad's grave. It was like four years ago. I knelt down beside his grave. I said I forgive you for making me mentally ill. Since my memories of rape didn't come until 2 years ago. That day I went to the cemetery. I didn't know he raped me as a small child. I just knew it had something to do with my dad. Now, I know it all, That is why I must be very strong and fight daily to never relapse. I will not make it if I do. I love you and be strong. FIGHT LIKE HELL AND YOU WILL WIN. My mother who is 82 was also a victim of physical and sexual rape from dad. We are no longer victims but survivors.
No, you are not alone I have undigosed binge eating disorder, & I think I have it under control & Wham it hits me again! I am trying to seek help with this. It is litterly kiling me! I have Fatty liver (NASH) which has now delvoped into chrrioss I also have liver tumors (Not cancrous) & am diabetic! My consotant told me if I don"t lose weight I will be dead in the the next few years! It shocked me & I am now at weight watchers & have been losing weight but i have starting putting it on again! I have a very unsporrtive family so that makes it even harder! but I know I have to do it! New year new start! I really want to kick it but know it"s gonna be a long hard battle! I don"t know how else to conrol my feelings without turning to food! I have found a helpline I am gonna call it"s a NHS one called Beat
Helpline: 0808 801 0677. Our Helplines are open 365 days a year from 12pm – 8pm during the week, and 4pm – 8pm on weekends and bank holidays. During Christmas, our Helplines will be open 4-8pm from Christmas Eve to New Year's Day
Hi Abby, loving hugs to you! I am so sorry about the abuse that you endured. Binging is all about trying to keep in control and fear of loosing it. I do the same due to childhood loss, except I don’t know what I’m feeling. It’s called Alexethymia. I’ve been Depressed, empty and blah.
I’ve always wondered if sexual abuse happened to me also, due to fear of intimacy. No memory though.
Once I start eating,there is no stopping, like being in the zone, until I feel sick. Then comes the shame......
Thanks I am gonna sort out proper help with my eating disorder! I have to! Saw my conuslant today & have lost little weight sience I saw him last! At least it is stable! I have Chronic liver diease & I have now got chroiss! Also have Adomas all over my liver! Luckly they are beign! Got My yearly Mri in April! I am also Diabetic! If I don"t keep up the weight loss I could Die! & I am only 42! I am at WW But know I need to deal with my emotions! It is very hard when your family are so toxic! So having your support really makes a diffence You have mine to
Please take care of yourself Abby! Not always easy with junk running through our head. After parents deaths, coped with junk food. Boosts my seratonin I guess. I’m 66 and also way too young for heart problems!!!
You are fighting the battle, and sound very positive. Keep it going, Hugs
This week started binging again and don’t know why. Haven’t been doing that, now I’m back in the zone. With the alexithymia and not being aware of my feelings, feel frustrated and defeated once again. Seeing my therapist this week so hopefully will gain some more help.
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I have undigosed binge eating disorder, & I think I have it under control & Wham it hits me again! I am trying to seek help with this. It is litterly kiling me! I have Fatty liver (NASH) which has now delvoped into chrrioss 
I also have liver tumors (Not cancrous) & am diabetic! My consotant told me if I don"t lose weight I will be dead in the the next few years! It shocked me & I am now at weight watchers & have been losing weight 
They don't call it an eating disorder, but I am afraid I will starve to death
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