Eating disorder treatment

[WiltedFlower]

I posted this in a bulimia and anorexia forum, but no one is hardly active so I thought i'd post here b/c the people in this community are always so sweet and give good feedback and I could kinda use it.

My doctor and I have trying to figure out how to identify my eating disorder for years and couldn't really figure it out so she talked to an eating disorder clinic specifically to understand more about it since she doesn't specialize with issues like this. While she was talking to them, she found out multiple things over the few weeks they have been in communication; A) I am in a sort of grey area and I have tendencies of both anorexia and bulimia, but I don't have either. There isn't a term for this, so they just call it an eating disorder. B) they want me to go to an outpatient treatment center like php or something like this. But my insurance won't cover it. I dunno what to do or what to think about it. should I look into something else that would cover it? My safety team is trying to help me with it. But I need to do something different. I don't think it will work alone like this. treating my depression alone hasn't changed my perspective over how i see my body. Ik i have to want to change to change, and I do, I want to be normal, but to do that i'd have to push aside my eating disorder. I have been ignoring it for years and that isn't making me any less normal. i dunno what to do or think.

sorry, just needed to rant.

[Sunshine_balloons]

I was in denial of being anorexic for all of highschool and I know it can be a super hard thing to accept much less try to work on. My best suggestions would be to find little things you love about others and find them on you that don't associate with size. For example, I adore freckles, on others and with practice, my own as well. As for treatment, that's totally up to you, and what you feel comfortable with but I think you're taking a great first step reaching out!! If you ever want to talk I'm always here 😊

[WiltedFlower in reply to Sunshine_balloons]

that may help. But I just look at things other people have, and it just makes be think about how i don't have it, or how mine is abnormal or the fact that it just looks bad.

[Sunshine_balloons in reply to WiltedFlower]

That's really rough especially with social media always showing everyone at their best. Self love is super hard to learn much less master. Has there ever been anything (like a phrase, outfit, moment, quote etc) that's made you feel of worth physically?

[Agora1]

Hi Wiltedflower, I so wish I knew what the answer was. Here you are wanting

help and insurance won't cover it. As "Sunshine balloons" stated, you've taken

that great first step in reaching out. We are here whenever you need to vent xx

[WiltedFlower in reply to Agora1]

thank you