Need your support

[NWGal]

Last week my daughter told me she is transitioning from female to male. She's came out as a lesbian when she was 22 (although it was no surprise to me) and since I love her unconditionally I have been supportive. Now it's 12 years later. This news has been difficult - sort of grieving a loss although I know her personality won't change and she'll still be my baby. This is scary and confusing. I'm finding myself in denial and just wish it were a dream and things will go back to normal but that's not rational. Just wondering if any of you have experience with gender transitioning and can give me some input or comfort. Thanks friends.

[greymegan]

Of course it is scary when a person so close to you comes out with news like this, it is a shock! She has been your daughter for so long and now she is going to be your son and that is scary.

But know that she is also scared and needs the support of her loving mother.

It is going to be such a long, difficult and strange transition but her happiness in the end will make it all worth while.

After a while, it is likely that the shock will wear off and you will begin to feel more comfortable with the idea and it will soon become the norm. And soon enough, or maybe it is already happening, she will want to change her pronouns to he/him rather than she/her and you will have to support her through that, no matter how hard it will be.

However, maybe you should try out some transgender support groups. You could go along by yourself or with your daughter.

I wish you all the best in the journey you and your daughter are about to take

[NWGal in reply to greymegan]

Thank you so much for the support. Don't have many people I can talk to and my husband thinks the whole thing is ridiculous.

[Coloradowalker in reply to NWGal]

Isn’t she lucky to have you as her mother.... loving her/him exactly as they are. I’ll imagine that there will be challenges throughout the transition but you will always be mom and even more cherished because of the unconditional love❤️ Best of luck to all of you!

[greymegan in reply to NWGal]

In this situation I feel as though a transgender support group will be the best option. Perhaps your husband can even come along with you so he can begin to understand what she is going through more and what your next steps are. He is probably very unaware of this issue and how much it will be impacting your daughter.

[fauxartist]

I would look for a support group of other parents that are adjusting to change, and how they work through their personal concerns and questions, and sure...your allowed to grieve, but eventually like you said is you love them unconditionally, so also let this be a celebration for your child who has become who they are finally comfortable being....the torment for these kids and adults is excruciating. Not feeling like you belong anywhere. Your not really part of the straight world, or the gay and lesbian world....your in limbo. Talking and really listening to your child and finding out where they are coming from too will help a lot for you I believe.

[kenster1]

hi it still your child the child you gave birth to and nothing can ever change that.its bound to be difficult for you but even harder for your daughter.the love will always be the same that's forever woman or man.

[Hidden]

Sorry, yes it is concerning and it will leave doubts in your own mind what is going on.

I personally find this sort of thing disturbing, I must be getting old or something. However I suppose if people feel unhappy with their Sexuality, they need to consider what will make them happy

When I was in my Teens/Twenties I can across some people where were uncomfortable of their sex and we seemed to accept their needs and expectations.

I hope all works out well and you are able to move your Love across to your Daughter/Son.

I wish you all well, Happy Christmas, and Prosperous New Year.

BOB

[Hidden]

I am dating a female to male transgender. He has overcome so many obstacles since our relationship started 2yrs ago. He is 31 and has been on testosterone for a year!!! He hasn't changed much in personality since our beginning but his self esteem as definitely improved since being able to be himself openly. Telling his family was very scary for him, luckily they are very supportive. Don't worry love, your child is still there just how he sees and feels he is meant to be. Any questions just ask!!!

[NWGal in reply to Hidden]

Thank you all. Your kind words are so welcome.

[Cookie101]

Whilst not part of the LGBT community myself, I have struggled to figure out my identity. I suffer from depression and anxiety disorder however, now I'm in the process of being tested for other mental health issues. I'm almost forty so to finally begin to realise there could be other things which affect the way I am, including the possibility that it may have potentially been the cause of my dep and anx, is a major revelation. I spent much of my life trying to fit in and getting very frustrated when I couldn't. For the first time, I feel like I'm actually finding myself and I think it's the same for him. I don't think you should think of this as losing your daughter. You've never lost her. You are now gaining your son. Be excited. I worked with someone who went through the gender reassignment process. The brief window into the process that I saw was long and complicated with lots of counselling sessions to ensure that by the time the surgery date arrived, it was clearly the right decision. Be supportive, it's going to be tough and your son will need you.

[NWGal in reply to Cookie101]

Didn't look at it that way. Thank you!

[Want2BHappy3]

No I haven’t, but I have a niece whose parents weren’t accepting, they put her clothes on the porch and left a note. Everything ok with her dad but the can’t get over it. You need to look into counseling, these people are born this way and are the same people. You can’t make this about You. He needs your support. This isn’t easy for them, love them for who they are it’s Not the end of the World 🌲

[NWGal]

He has my unconditional support. Am I not deserving of support as well ? I think so.