Faking it.

[Coloradowalker]

I have family in town from Nashville and I love them dearly but don’t feel like myself so I smile and say that I am well and work is good and my life is good and the family is great because I don’t want anyone to know how much energy it took to prepare this beautiful meal and decorate the home and shop for gifts and look decent for your arrival. And I feel guilty while you are here because it takes everything in my power to enjoy it. And I have a 7 hour swim meet for my 15 year old in a hot humid venue tomorrow where I will be cursing the perimenopausal gods. I’ll have to smile yet again while I hope that I won’t panic and make a fool of myself. When will I feel like myself again? I’ve had these anxious episodes before and they have passed. Running out of patience in Colorado. ❤️

[Agora1]

Coloradowalker, oh it will pass but maybe not until they leave.

I've been freaking out since I found out that I will be having out of

town guests this holiday. 2 days, yep.. And I'm putting them up in

a hotel. I want to see them but also want my "me time" that I'm use to.

High anxiety will go down once they're gone but then again so will

Christmas. And so I will meditate and deep breathe my way through

those 2 days. With the help of catering, I will be able to genuinely

put a smile on my face. You're not alone with this feeling.

P.S. Hope the swim meet goes well tomorrow. xx

[Coloradowalker in reply to Agora1]

Thank you Agora. I would doubt that anyone sensed my discomfort. Just takes so much energy to pretend like I’m ok. I hope you enjoy your company. These are all the little steps that tell us that we are returning to self❤️ I have to be patient and remember that this does pass.

[sweetiepye]

This is what we do. We do it for ourselves and for our families. Yes, it will pass, but it takes some time. Pam

[Coloradowalker in reply to sweetiepye]

You are so right sweetie pie. Thank you for responding. Jane a great weekend.❤️

[Coloradowalker in reply to sweetiepye]

Have a great weekend. Geez with all of this anxiety weight loss, you would think my fingers weren’t still fat😀😀