Atypical Depression

[Koga]

I have atypical depression, which means things make me temporarily happy, like when I eat something really good or when I get something I’ve been wanting for a while, an example being when I finally got the guitar I had been wanting. My family, mostly my father, sees me laugh or smile or just seem happy in general and think that I’m not depressed anymore. I constantly am being asked if I’m better, and I always feel so guilty and upset with myself over not being better. And I also think that a lot of people see others with depression acting okay and just instantly think they’re fine. I can act alright in most social situations, it’s not always obvious that I’m sick, and it makes it harder for other people to believe me. Can anyone relate to any of this? Sorry if it’s worded poorly.

[VictoriasRaisinBran]

i totally relate. for a while i always thought: if only i had such-and-such... id be happy. and i was right... sort of. id be happy for a couple hours, maybe, until the thing that i wanted has lost its effect on me.

[Koga in reply to VictoriasRaisinBran]

Exactly!

[NeuronerdDoaty]

Did your doctor call it that?

I’ve had clinical depression all my 55 years. It comes in waves but I can still function 99% of the time. It’s not sadness. I also have situational depression. I’m a little bit more down for a longer period than the ‘event’ calls for.

I’m not familiar with this terminology.

Take care of yourself

[Koga in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

Yeah, he didn’t get into it too much, I don’t think I was ready to hear all of what he had to say at the time. As far as I know it just means my mood will get a lot better if something positive happens, and I’ll feel better for a little bit but it just goes back after a while.

[fauxartist]

Many of us with depression fake it till we make it...depression is a disease, there is no cure. You don't just get over it if you have the long term depression, some have it temporarily due to loss or trauma, and may get over it eventually. Others of us have a chemical deficiency, we never get over it, and we just learn to live with it. This was not your fault, you didn't cause this, you certainly don't want to have this...it just is. You will eventually find a way to live your life with this disease, and not let it define you. But others who don't have depression will usually never be able to understand it. I would just tell your parents when they ask, that you have good days and bad days, but you know you will get through it. Ask them to get you professional help and get properly diagnosed, and meds if suggested. It’s important that you make sure your old enough or do really need meds, always get a second opinion. Let them know they can't fix you, or that they did anything to cause this...it's no different than if you had a heart condition, you just learn to manage it.

[Koga in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you, big help.

[fauxartist in reply to Koga]

The saving grace is that you do have parents who care....I hope you get help soon, and if needed, it's not a bad idea to have a therapist explain your issues to your parents to help them understand. Many parents feel guilty because they can't fix you or help you, some even feel responsible for your issues when it's not their fault, but mostly they just don't know.

[Windyred]

Koga,

There have been a lot of people with depression that seemed to be happy. Robin Williams is a really strong example. People can deal with it in different ways so don’t beat yourself up. And hopefully they realize that too. Hope you feel better soon!