I feel really alone.

[hitbyasegway]

My boyfriend (who broke up with me and came back and said he would go the extra mile to make me feel comfortable with him again) has been really just...mean lately. He swears at me all the time. He doesn't seem to care if I have panic attacks or if I'm depressed. I feel like he's hiding things from me. The only time I feel like he cares about me is when he's with me in person, but that's not that often. He speaks to me with no respect now. I'm starting to feel like he likes seeing me so sad because he just lets me be sad and anxious by myself all the time. He's either too tired or too busy to try to help me. He says he's there to text if I need him but when I text him he's just rude to me. I try to talk to him about how he's making me feel and he just gets frustrated and says he's doing everything he can to help me. But he isn't even doing a little bit. For almost a year (before the break up) he was so kind and gentle and supportive. I don't know what happened after he left me but something in him changed and he's not the same. I get people change but he's so different and we were only broken up for a month. I don't know if I want advice, I just feel like such shit. I know I'm a good person and I deserve to be loved by a good person. And he is a good person. Which is why I'm so confused that it seems like a switch went off and turned him into what he is now. I feel so helpless.

[LiveandLetLive42]

Relationships can be so tough when someone has mental illness. You need to be with someone who understands and is helpful. All the BS will only drag you down and you said it “I deserve to be loved” and you do!! You need to be happy and it’s okay to be by yourself to get there. And sometimes these things make us stronger and give us fight!!

[ForwardBound]

Life is meant to be enjoyed as much as humanly possible. He left you once, and you survived. Make a decision to be happy, and if he doesnt fit into that vision of happiness...remove him. Hes blocking your blessings and peace.

[50percentMe]

Dear hitbyasegway - Let's take a look at what you wrote:(1) Verbally abusive all the time (2) Doesn't care about you (3) sneaky or dishonest (4) illusive (5) physically absent (6) disrespectful (7) rude (8) impatient (9) egocentric (10) unstable. Okay, maybe you don't want advice, but these are personality traits you see in him (How you see him is the only thing that matter to you). I'm no math genius, but when I add this up, it = toxic relationship. You know you're a good person and deserve to be loved by a good person. Look at the list above. I don't see anything that is a characteristic of a "good person" - do you? From experience, I don't try and figure out why someone treats me poorly. I have a hard enough time figuring out me.

I'll bet you have a good sense of humor (Hit by a segway ... that's funny!) What percentage of the time does he make you laugh or smile? Sometimes 2 good people can bring out the worst of each other. A fire can be relaxing, comforting and warming. Gasoline makes things work and some things won't go without it. They're both good. Put them together and you have an explosion! Good luck sorting out your thoughts and putting them into action accordingly.

[Avidreader9559]

Hi. I am so sorry that you feel so bad right now. From what you have said, it seems that you believe he is not treating you the way he said he would treat you and the way you expect to be treated. We all need people in our lives who love us and support us and help us to be better people. I agree with LiveandLetLive42 in that it can be hard to be alone, but sometimes in order to get what we need in life, it is okay to be by ourselves to figure it out. I hope you find what you need in this season to do what is best for your health. Hugs.