Finding Understanding in Pain

[UnderstandingMyPain]

There are days that I want to just run away from it all never ever wanting to look back and forget about the pain that is associated with everything I feel within me. Days that I want to forget and just smile. I want my happiness back. I want my smile to be permanent even on the days I feel defeated. I want to get back to the person that took struggles and made them blessings.

[sweetiepye]

I get it, but running from your pain insures it will stay with you. Avoidance doesn't work , but facing what hurts , though painful, does. You probably already know this on some level. I imagine you are exhausted. If you can give yourself some time and then wage your battle. It was a battle for me, one that I'm winning. Yea! Pam

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to sweetiepye]

Thanks Pam for your words and encouragement. I agree with you, I’m just learning how to really face everything. I’ll always remember your words.

[Hidden in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

Emotional pain comes to those who have golden hearts and care and have sensitivity. Stone. Never feels never cries

Physical pain wears down the strongest of the strong. Its suffering debilitating and physiologic. People just endure and well documented that it has nothing to do with character etc which most people know. But either causes great suffering

Hobbies music friendship rest funny movies etc. volunteering. Pets can help people block or divert Sind of

The very very real pain and suffering

But it can bring dark clouds

D sad o dory for what ur enduring

[Ken1541]

Yes. I understand that. I just want a day where I wake up free from anxiety and pain. Where I can enjoy the day and be happy from start to finish. I used to have days like that long ago. If I could just turn my anxiety off. What a fulfilling and wonderful life I would have. I have and had so much potential. I think there’s not an easy answer for us. Does anybody out there have an answer to day to day happiness? How to get it?

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to Ken1541]

Yes!!! That’s how I feel. Knowing deep down you (we) are so much more than what we feel is hard to climb out of. I was told one day at a time. One thought at a time. I’m hoping that since I joined this support group I can find that happiness again, like you. I just joined I do t believe it’s been an hour yet and to see a stranger reaching out to me feels great. I feel for the first time not alone.

[Ken1541 in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

Glad to be of service. Sharing with people with the same condition I think helps. I joined today also because I am having a real crappy day today.

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to Ken1541]

Yeah Ken!! I know your feeling. Same bad day here, BUT we can do this!!!!

[sweetiepye in reply to Ken1541]

Probably not an answer you want to hear. You can have happiness and peace again.If you work through your anxiety you will begin to have confidence in yourself which brings about happiness. You know of course that we are never happy all the time as it is transitory . Therapy worked well for me although it is painful and takes time.I think recovery works like this ,,, you get out of it what you put into it. There is no quick fix and no one can give it to you. Essentially, it is up to you and that is the scary part.

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to sweetiepye]

That is true. I know that everything is a process being patient is also my struggling. While I was reading other posts I do see the importance of working through things. Thanks for your advice ❤️

[sweetiepye in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

I wasn't harping at you, I meant that second reply for Ken.

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to sweetiepye]

Oh Pam I am so sorry. I literally had this app for a few moments, I didn’t even realize you responded to Ken. My apologizes and I didn’t even take it as anything negative, I thought you were giving some more of your great advice!!! I think your a wonderful person with a great heart ❤️. I read your profile and some of your posts and your a inspiration.

[sweetiepye in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

Thank you for the kind words. I wouldn't want you to feel I'm pressuring you and obviously you don't so all's good. lol!

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to sweetiepye]

🧡

[Ken1541 in reply to sweetiepye]

Ditto. On what understandingmypain said. Question. What are some of the 1st steps to getting out of it?

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to Ken1541]

Well my first step is being able to talk about it. Accepting the Pain. Accepting the hurt. Like Pam even said you can’t ignore it. Trust and believe there are days like today when I feel like ughhhhh I can’t deal with it, no one understands and the list keeps going but I strongly believe deep down in all of us is this light that knows what are wants are, it knows that we want to be happy we just can’t ignore what is allowing us to feel bright everyday.

[sweetiepye in reply to Ken1541]

There is always a bigger issue that is so painful we ignore it and the anxiety diverts us from dealing with it. We aren't necessarily aware of it so the therapy helps to identify it. I had very low self esteem and I needed to do things to improve myself so I could feel good about the kind of person I am. I went back to collage and earned a degree which really helped.I worked to pay for it and was a wife and Mother of 3 while this was happening. My self esteem is pretty good and conquering anxiety added to it. Life still has problems and I still have things to improve, but it is SO much better. Take some time to think about what you want your life to be, what kind of person you want to be. Think about going to therapy. You really need to make a plan so you have something concrete to refer to. One thing at a time ,one day at a time. So a plan divided into smaller parts leading to your goal is a good starting point.

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to Ken1541]

Countless thousands have felt exactly as you do. Countless thousands have recovered their quiet mind. And so will you.

Your nervous system is responding perfectly normally to what you are subjecting it to. Anxiety overload. It has put up with so much for so long and now it's complaining.

Fear of fear is behind all anxiety symptoms. It's not what lies outside your front door that frightens you. It's the fear of feeling fear if you go outside. A panic attack is the fear that you are about to feel overwhelming fear.

What's happened is that anxiety overload has caused your nervous system to become over-sensitised and in that state it produces all the symptoms we know only too well.

The symptoms cause fear. The fear causes more nervous sensitisation. Sensitisation causes more symptoms which cause more fear. Which causes more sensitisation. You are caught in a vicious circle that is self perpetuating.

For recovery you have to stop 'battling' and fighting your anxiety symptoms. Fighting causes more stress and tension. Your nervous system needs less. So do the opposite instead.

Rather than fight the panic attacks, the bad feelings, the agoraphobia, the health anxiety, accept them for the time being. Offer no resistance, let them come. Accept them completely for the moment despite how unsettling those symptoms are. They cannot kill you, disable you or make you lose your mind. So why fear them? Frame your mind for Acceptance instead.

Do not seek to avoid the bad feelings, don't try to block them out or lose yourself in distraction. Face them head on and pass through your angst and panic.

When you truly accept then you no longer flood your nerves with fear hormones and gradually your nervous system recovers from the over sensitivity - and the bad feelings cease. But you must let time pass, this is no quick fix.

The Acceptance method for recovery from anxiety and nervous depletion was devised many years ago by Doctor Claire Weekes and set out in her first book 'Hope and help for your nerves' also titled 'Self help for your nerves' (the same book). Her protocols for recovery can be summed up in six words: Face, Accept, Float, Let time pass. Her book is available for a few pounds/bucks new or used on Amazon and Ebay. It offers understanding, reassurance and a road to respite and recovery.

Doctor David Barlow, Emeritus Professor of Psychiatry at Boston University wrote:

"By thinking outside the box the brilliant physician Claire Weekes created a treatment protocol to the unending benefit of tens of millions of patients over the years."

Whatever course of action you take I hope you soon experience respite and eventual recovery from all your symptoms.

I THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE WITH YOU THIS. I copied it from someone’s page.

[Ken1541 in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

Thanks!!!

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to Ken1541]

👍🏽

[Lets_heal]

📝I understand because I'm feeling the same way. Defeating panic attacks is what I'm facing right now, which is causing me sadness. Problem is there is NO where to run!.

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to Lets_heal]

I agree! It feels like there aren’t any support groups out there that help with depression or anxiety. I have spent numerous nights searching online for help.

[sweetiepye in reply to Lets_heal]

You have the essential truth of it ...there is you and the anxiety/panic. That's it. It depends on you to exist. If you stop feeding it the fear it craves, it will die.

[Hidden]

Sometimes changing your address or redecorating your home can help break with the past. Advice with depression is not to move as it might provoke anxiety but after several operations moving to an area which had a better climate and more sunshine helped re focus my life. I was lucky because I had a partner but the strain of poor health on a marriage can break it. Loneliness even when you have a family can be present as we are all individuals and sometimes those around us dont understand us. You still feel hurt after a divorce but it takes time to accept the marriage was not worth fighting for . When you can accept he has moved on but you are still stuck then therapy might help your confidence and realization you are attractive loveable and your positivity will help get over this time. I know when we moved a great weight was lifted and we could move on.

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your words Birmanblue. So true.

[UnderstandingMyPain]

Thank you for sharing as well 💜