Cell Phone Anxiety

[Boomba76]

When my wife is sitting on her phone it is a huge trigger for my anxiety. I know this is not rational and it is not fair for her so I just keep it inside and the anxiety just builds until my chest hurts. Does anyone else have this trigger?

[Hidden]

I cannot use the telephone anymore now, My Wife does that now as I get tied up in my Anxiety. It is strange when I consider what work I used to do, I was a controller at work then moved onto Planning, Design and Accounting, I even worked out the time needed to do the job, I was always on the phone when working on schedules of work to be done. Now my problem has got worse over the last twenty years and the phone is just evil in my eyes

Generally I am fine on the computer or Laptop and will tap away all day, I have been on HU since 09;00 this morning and still going strong although it is bed time now

BOB

[Boomba76 in reply to Hidden]

Yes, I was talking about this to someone today and said it is harder now because we use our phone for everything from what shows are coming on, the news, weather, schedules, emails, texts, social media and on and on and on... It’s really kind of sad.

[Hidden in reply to Boomba76]

I suppose in the past I was able to multi task, and when I was going through the final months of my employment, my Mental Health was bad and I was refusing to move on in many ways, and was confused in many ways I was writing, why use a phone when you could let your feelings out in a more positive way. So now I have memory problems and cannot actually think fast enough I have not go back to communication on a phone.

When you think when we write we can rub out a line or phrase and start again a telephone you open your mouth and the error is out there and sad to say your mouth is your own enemy and the spoken word cannot be taken back

BOB

[Mrspjsmom]

The thing that causes me to get anxious is when I am talking to my husband or daughter and they are looking at their phone instead of me. I feel like they don't think I deserve their full attention or find what I'm saying to be unimportant.

[Boomba76 in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Thanks for the reply. Sometimes I feel that way too but I mostly fear she is messaging someone which is silly because I trust her. It is one of those times when negative thoughts consume me.

[Mrspjsmom in reply to Boomba76]

Negative thoughts always seem to come at the worst times.

[20Voices in reply to Mrspjsmom]

I know what you mean. To me it is basic manners to leave the phone and engage with the person that is there.

Have you ever tried turning the tables on them and either playing with your phone and see how they like it. Or even funnier is just say something like "pink elephants" in the middle of what you are saying and see if they respond.

[Hidden]

The phone is a trigger for a lot of people. I’ve had 4 breakdowns from extreme stress. The phone is always a trigger. It’s lack of control or not wanting to be invaded overwhelmed. It’s not fair to stop her from having her own life thoughts feelings. Maybe telling yourself it’s her time of freedom from stress. I would just walk away from it or ask her to my use it if willing at certain times of the day like eating or when you’re talking. Have you gotten therapy for it? It’s not dumb. After I was assaulted I screamed when it rang I couldn’t handle loud noises or screaming or crying.

[quitter333]

why?

you just state the fact and expect an answer.

Do you think she is cheating? Or maybe you have some fear of electronic devices?

Yes I dont like people texting when I am near, but its not causing anxiety. I just think I am interesting enough for them to not look at a boring phone/ internet (man, I even can get angry because of ir. Fondling phone in company of friends or family is disrepsectful.. and I am not old at all).

[Hidden]

Telephones are attention grabbing, they also make people bad mannered, attention grabbing, they can also make me feel they can burst into an eye to eye conversation. It is like some on sitting in a room with you who tries to gain attention out of turn, to discuss something completely different. The caller is basically saying deal with me, it will only take a few mins and it ends up taking an hour. You are also possibly deserting someone to talk on the phone.

You can also not protect yourself from caller remarks and actions, or say something out of line

BOB

[ScrapQueenJenn]

My husband is the same but he does it for relief from his anxiety. It causes me anxiety though because I know he likes to click on articles with pictures of pretty girls. I recommend making a joke of it. Say things like "Hey, I'm over here. Pay attention to me." and " You seem consumed over there. Is there something bothering you?" and "time to put the phone down. Let's do something together". Mention that she spends a lot of time on it and it is unhealthy. Most people don't even realize they are consumed by them. Make small statements here and there. Nothing accusing but just mentioning that you notice how much she is using it. Maybe she will eventually make an effort to put it down. My husband has but not entirely. It's a work in progress. He doesn't use social media so you'd think it would be easier.

[20Voices]

I had a bad spell in the worst of my depression where I had to unplug my landline phone and also switch my mobile to silent. I couldn't even listen to my voicemail for a while.

I know it was fear and paranoia that caused all that and I was lucky that dealing with a few issues and building my self confidence has helped me get past that.

I still freak when I see calls from unknown numbers, so when that happens I have taught myself to let them go to voicemail where I can then listen to the messages. If the person doesn't leave a message then it wasn't important.

I also use an app to record all calls to and from people that are not in my contacts list as I went through a phase where I thought I was going mad dealing with my bank because I'd call get told one thing, call again about the same issue get told something else and deny the previous advise I was given. Found it helped to say that they needed to get recording from the last call and if they have list it to let me know where I can send my copy of it to. Also means if I forget what has been agreed, cause I do get memory lapses at times I can check the recordings as well.