Panic Attacks

[slothenergy]

Hello, I am new to this site and I figured this would be a good step in starting to deal with some issues. 2 years ago my friend left me alone with a guy who wouldn't take no as an answer when I was passed out drunk. I remember little glimpses of when I would wake up and see him on top of me and pulling my clothes off. I tried talking to a therapist at the hospital after I tried committing suicide and she just brushed it off and said I'm probably just imagining the worst but I get panic attacks whenever someone starts talking about rape and I'm scared to be around guys when I drink. Is this justified? Am I just imagining the worst? Should I just get over it because it happened 2 years ago and I don't really know what all happened? If someone could help me out with this because I am really struggling.

[fbcoach]

First off, If that's how you feel, then it is real and it did happen. Nobody should discount your feelings/emotions. Secondly, it wasn't your fault. I don't think there is a "just get over it" button in life - you have to work through issues by talking to others (who actually listen and have advice/activities) or reading various books on strategies that may help you control/manage your current fears/worry. As for being around guys that drink - you can remove yourself from those situations by not going at all to that environment or surrounding yourself with trusted friends that will always look after you.

[slothenergy in reply to fbcoach]

Thank you. That is the first time someone has ever said anything like that and didn't just tell me it was my fault that I drank too much and I shouldn't have put myself in that position in the first place. As for being around trusted friends, I want to be able to go out and have fun again and not be terrified of what could happen but I trusted that friend and she left me with him knowing I was passed out so It's hard to find people that I truly trust.

[summersimmer]

Hi! I'm really sorry that this happened to you. What you feel is valid and you don't have to just get over it. You have to heal with time and probably some professional help.

I also experienced something similar around 15 years ago and I still remember it and I keep thinking about it and it's making me unable to work. I'm just going to share it with my psychiatrist this Sunday.

What I'm trying to say is, take your time. Sending you love <3

[slothenergy in reply to summersimmer]

Thank you it helps a lot to know others have gone through it too and that I'm not overreacting. I just got out of the hospital and have a new therapist so I think I am going to share it with her and hope she doesn't act the same as the therapist from the hospital.

[summersimmer in reply to slothenergy]

You're definitely not overreacting. I hope your new therapist will be understanding but if she isn't, please remember that your feelings and memories are real and that you can find a new therapist instead <3

[NeuronerdDoaty]

I’m so sorry your trauma was treated this way. You were raped. Please go get therapy. Your brain knows you suffered a trauma. It wants to heal. The panic attacks are symptoms of the trauma.

I’m so glad you reached out today. Your healing can start.

Personally I completely understand why you don’t want to be around men and alcohol. You don’t have control when you drink. I never drank again. Just my personal preference.

Please find a trauma or rape therapist. Take back your control. Don’t let that person be in charge of your feelings.

Doaty💛

[slothenergy in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

Thank you, like I said I just got out of the hospital which was my second attempt at suicide and I haven't dealt with this at all and I feel like it's time because I want to be better and I want to get better. I have a new therapist I'm meeting with this week and I think I am going to share this with her so she can help me through this.

[NeuronerdDoaty in reply to slothenergy]

Good idea. Because your brain is new to this I won’t share my story. You need coping skills. I will tell you that until it’s brought out and burned out by the sunlight it will make decisions for you. That’s what trauma does.

There are men who took 1 1/2 hours out of my life at age 17. I refuse to allow them more. I didn’t choose to give them that time. Now I only choose to give survivors time. They never deserved me. You deserve me. You can have my time. I will not panic, I will not fear, I certainly won’t let them take my life by my own hand. We are better than that scum.

A therapist will help you with this. I’ll be here as well.

There is nothing you can’t conquer.

Doaty💛

[Attaloss001]

Hi there. NO. In mt opinion ( and I used to work at a sexual assault center, you are NOT over dramatizing, imagining, think the worst or any of that.

Let me ask you; if a woman shows up at my door and paases out drunk does that give me the right to steal her purse and car? No! It sounds like you're no was pretty clear. Anxiety, panic attacks, what I call " the haunted feeling" are totally normal and I have debriefed many women ( and men) who still get emotional and concrete flashbacks after 20 years because they have not been supported and validated. THE GUY WAS WRONG. HE WAS A CREEP to take advantage. A decent guy would have made sure you were safe and warm and left it at that. Sheesh some of Societys ideas about rape and sexual assault are horrible and totually misinformed.

[NWGal]

Bad, bad therapist!!!! She really told you that you were imagining the worst? Outrageous! The reaction you're having to "triggers" is normal for someone who is a victim of sexual assault. You can't just get over it. We need to work on this! Not all men who drink are bad men (believe me, I'm old and know this from experience). That being said, I suggest you seek a therapist who has experience with women victims of sexual assault. This guy still has control over an aspect of your life and we need to say "I'm not going to allow you to cause me this trauma"! I'm so glad you posted today friend.