im not going to make it

[sadskies00]

does anyone ever just get tired of fighting every single day? i don’t think I’m going to make it. it’s just all too much for me.

[TheBooG]

Hey, I’m feeling like that right now, I had a breakdown and I’m at work I had to hide in a closet to get myself together. I finally logged in and just started venting in hopes I can communicate with someone to take my mind off of things

[sadskies00 in reply to TheBooG]

I just had a breakdown too pretty much. I’m at a breaking point really i am

[TheBooG in reply to sadskies00]

I want to talk

[TheBooG in reply to sadskies00]

How do you manage things

[TheBooG]

I’m really feeling like nobody wants anything to do with me because I lash out verbally when I’m in these modes

[sadskies00 in reply to TheBooG]

I do the exact same thing. It’s ruined many of my relationships. i don’t really manage well so i don’t have much advice to give

[TheBooG]

I lash out because I feel everybody I meet treats me the same way, they take advantage of me and I want to retaliate, but they say I’m being paranoid.

[sadskies00 in reply to TheBooG]

yeah or they just try to guilt trip you when really you’re lashing out for a good reason. it’s their actions too not just your condition.

[TheBooG]

Yes! I understand, Something has to happen in order for me to be that way. I don’t just lash out I hate it while I’m in that mode it’s draining and it makes me feel like shutting down.

[sadskies00 in reply to TheBooG]

Exactly. Something triggers you. But people never want to acknowledge how their actions caused you to snap, just how you snapped. Then they make you feel bad and cut you off

[TheBooG]

I know I need to heal from my past but when I see the same actions taking place that those other people did to me I get defensive.

[sadskies00 in reply to TheBooG]

That’s 100% valid. we all need to heal from past traumas to some extent. it’s a process, don’t let that frustrate you. just keep trying. you’ll get there

[TheBooG]

I can’t control my emotions or my mouth when I’m in that state. I feel bad afterwards

[Hidden in reply to TheBooG]

Have you tried therapy? I was like that for about twenty years because of abuse and trauma. I had a terrible first marriage where we fought and screamed at each other. I used to yell at abusive characters on TV shows or talk shows because I was full of anger and didn't confront my abusers. I had to finally forgive them, in my heart, not to them to start to heal and move on. I'm not angry at anyone anymore. It just kind of went away. That and not talking to them for twenty years now. I was better off even though they are family. I have my own life with issues but not from the past anymore.

[TheBooG in reply to Hidden]

I keep neglecting therapy because some days be good and I don’t look forward to going. I went to two different intakes and haven’t been back since

[TheBooG]

What’s frustrating is that I don’t think I will ever heal

[sadskies00 in reply to TheBooG]

yeah i feel that cause i don’t think i will either

[TheBooG in reply to sadskies00]

I hope that we will

[sadskies00 in reply to TheBooG]

same here. keep the fairh

[Hidden]

Count me in on those sentiments. I struggle daily with what I am dealing with, and every day I cry, and I feel absolutely alone in the world.

Somehow I’m still here, chugging along, and I really don’t know how.

[sadskies00 in reply to Hidden]

I relate to every single. idk how I’m still doing it. i just finished a crying episode a few minutes ago. I’m sorry you’re suffering

[SheWrote]

Yes, I have been tired of fighting many times. But, you can be refreshed. When I get to that point, I step back and take a breath. Then I go do something that makes me happy or brings me peace. Life is hard and things will come at you making you tired. You time is super important. And, there IS ALWAYS time for that... please don't give up. It will get better. And, you are not alone. HUGS!!!

[71265]

I Finally Realize That If I Can No Longer Walk Through Life Each Day, It's Okay To Crawl. It's Okay To Sit On The Floor And Just Breathe. I Actually Found Where If I Do Something For Someone Else - A Poem Or Nice Note For A Stranger - I Feel Instantly Better About Myself. One Day I Really Wanted To Hurt Myself, So I Went A Bought A Bouquet Of Flowers, A Simple Bouquet, And I Went To The Nearest Grocery Store And Gave One Flower Out To Each Checker And Shelf Stocker I Saw. I Didn't Know Any Of Them, But Their Surprise To Get A Flower Made My Day.