My Mixed and Wild Emotions

[PacTedBud]

This is my first post and I need to vent. I suffer from depression and anxiety. I am a full-time college student, basically, a full-time worker and I am completing a one day a week internship at an agency. I am exhausted. I feel that I am constantly giving my all in everything I do. Trying to manage my schooling, my job, my internship, my relationship with my boyfriend, my relationship with my family and friends. But I feel as if I am not getting anything in return. I have been told I need to lessen my load of responsibilities and focus on self- care, but I can't. I don't know-how. I don't know how to say NO to the things that are most important to me. I try finding solace in my boyfriend by talking about our days, but tonight he was short with me. He would only reply with one-word responses, it made me feel upset and angry. He said he's having a bad day and couldn't tell me that because I always try to talk about it. I do not understand why he doesn't want to talk about his bad days, for me this helps. I am tired. Very tired. I am going to try this support group as a means to express my feelings in a way I feel that I can not with any of my loved ones. And tonight this has helped some, just being able to type out my feelings and frustrations.

[sadskies00]

It’s almost scary how i can relate to what you’re saying. Trust me i get it

[PacTedBud in reply to sadskies00]

sadskies00 what do you do when you feel like this?

[Hidden]

The joys of school and work paying your dues. It’s like that then you graduate. You lose people gain things just keep getting what you need with your education as people come n go in the long run. That being said balance best you can and if you can get some relief try to make changes IF you can. Yeah men often don’t want to talk stuff through some do but ... not like women you might be his sun that lifts his day trying to keep the dark at bay. Welcome to the forum

[PacTedBud in reply to Hidden]

Me and my sister plan on going to a concert next week and I am hoping that will give me some time of relief. Some sort of self- care. I am a social work major so I feel that I should automatically be all happy and stress free. But that just isnt the case with me. And yeah I get that men are like that most of the time. I only get to see him on the weekends and we are perfect when we are around each other, its when I am at school throughout the week that he doesnt want to share when he is upset. But I just wish he wouldnt take it out on me, by being short with me or not carrying a conversation. It makes me feel selfish to think "your not the only one having a bad day, so suck it up and talk to me about it instead of letting it ruin both of our nights." I do not ever say that but in an essence thats what I want to say. And thank you, I really hope this forum helps with my depression mainly.

[Hidden in reply to PacTedBud]

Guys can be moody too. You’re right about how you feel. Social work isn’t roses lol. I have two friends in it it’s emotional the trick is to keep it separate really that’s all our problems getting too tired bogged down. I think why mindfulness is so important.

[Cocomelon1234]

Your doing a great job, and hard work will always pay off. Always remind yourself that your doing all this to be better. As for your boyfriend, I feel that he need to open up to you more but it can also be because he knows you have so much on your plate already that he feels that if he comes to you with his issues he is only adding more stress to your life. Even though you have such a busy schedule try to find time for yourself and for your boyfriend when you two can be open with each other. I have 4 kids and they are all very young still so my house is always madness, but my spouse and I always make time to sit down and just talk.

[PacTedBud in reply to Cocomelon1234]

Wow, 4 kids?! How do you find time to spend time with them and your spouse? I could not image the stress you are under. I see my boyfriend on the weekends and we are perfect when we are around each other, it is just when I am at school that he does not want to open up about his bad days. I think it is awesome though that you and your spouse make time for each other to just talk.

[pink318]

Hello,

I agree, self-care is important. Without it, someone can be irritated and easily get angry. You can start from saying NO, set some boundaries and choose what is the most important. While reading your post, it reminds me of my son. He was in Senior High school when he had her first girlfriend. Senior year was busy with college application and doing his best in all his subjects. He was so stressed and his relationship with his girlfriend was affected. There were times I heard them fighting and arguing on the phone. Now that they are both in college, they both decide to lessen their phone calls and texting. They used to talk on the phone until almost morning then they will go to school not having enough sleep. It was hard for them to manage their time so they both decided to focus more on their studies. It works for them and they both doing well in school.

I’m sorry for all you are going through. I hope this forum will be an encouragement to you. I pray that things will go well with you and your boyfriend. Praying also for peace and you will experience it each day. Please keep sharing. God bless.

[PacTedBud in reply to pink318]

That is so sweet. Thank you for sharing that with me.