Negative Brain Thoughts

[meraki]

I'm having a bad thought a couple of days. If you've read my first post then you know what I am trying to deal with. If not, then to sum it up my husband and I are in very different places right now and I am trying to figure out if I can stay in the relationship.

The past week or so has been really good. We've connected a lot and the home has been peaceful and happy. It seems that my brain just starts down this road of all the things that upset me and once it starts it's hard to shut off.

How do you deal with this cycle and how do you get out of it?

[Starrlight]

I hear ya! I’m trying hard to be happy like you but one bad thought leads to the list of bad. I’m trying to say no to a thought and replace it with a positive. Not as easy as it sounds.

Sorry you are going through a tough time with your husband. Positive vibes to you(((((((((((((((

[meraki in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you! Knowing I am not alone here helps so much!

[Starrlight in reply to meraki]

Oh I’m so glad you feel less alone! (((((Hug)))))

[Naturegirl94]

I hear you, and you’re definitely not alone. I think just being open and honest and communicating in a way that is calm, clear and direct is always the way to go. When you start having these thoughts, possibly making it overt and using “I” statements saying something (in your own words of course) along the lines of “I love you and I love the way we’ve connected this past week. I have also been finding myself feeling scared that this feeling won’t last and it’s not the way I want to feel. And the reason why I feel this way is because I care so much about you and I’m scared of losing you.” I’m bias, but I highly recommend seeing a couples therapist who uses emotionally focused therapy!

[meraki in reply to Naturegirl94]

I appreciate you and your words! I have started saying to myself "fake news" when I start going down that cycle. It has helped, though I find myself still unsure of where I should go in this relationship.

I did decide that I need to work on me and get myself back on track. This is a start and hoping that it will help set me up to be in a better mindset to make the bigger choices.

[heartsofjoy]

Dear Meraki, I hear your uncertainty and totally understand. I’ve been married for 33 years and I’ve separated many times. Most recently for 3 years. My husband was verbally abusive and has changed so I am back in the home but still struggle wit our relationship. I am a Christian and struggle with situational anxiety and depression. Looking to find balance of joy and contentment . I am looking to connect with women that have similarities. I hope to hear from you and or a women

[meraki in reply to heartsofjoy]

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your struggle. It does help when we know we aren't alone.