My opinion that's all: So wanted to... - Anxiety and Depre...

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My opinion that's all


So wanted to share this before I go. It's my opinion on what it's like to tell friends and family how depression or anxiety feels.

It's a hard thing to do, and it's like this, you find yourself drowning so you call out for help.... Your family member or friend comes over and sticks a foot on your head and asks you tell me what I can do to save you!!? You're fighting to stay afloat with everything in you, the whole time yelling out instructions what you need. But they're saying I'm not understanding you can you try doing it without water in your mouth? As you panic and try thinking of what to do, exhaustion starts to take over, and the more you try the harder is seems. While they're tell you come on you're not trying hard enough, you need to talk clearly, maybe if you hadn't had something to eat before you got in the water!! And it all just starts eating away at you and that desire to keep kicking starts to fade as you start going under more and more. That darkness in the water feeling better each time, until finally your head stops coming up.... That fight has left you, and that cold dark water doesn't seem so bad. Because the pain has all gone.

Leaving them saying I was trying to help, they just weren't speaking fast enough to explain how I codld help. While a life preserver was there next to them the whole time.

10 Replies

That is such a powerful piece of writing but please don't go stick around and write some more

God bless you and help you through your depression

God help us all

Could you please clarify your comment? Are you saying I need to leave? Or not to post anymore?

Please don't leave this site or this world and keep posting ?

It is interesting to me that no one feels compelled to explain a physical disease to friends or family. Family doesn't say snap out of it . With a mental illness all bets are off and everyone is an expert. It must be the only area where our cure lies squaely in our own hands. In any event family and friends expect you to get on with it and get over it. What did I do to deserve this , why am I being punished. I must be a terrible person. Not only do we have to take care of our illness we have layers of issues piling up. But there is good news, when you dig through the nonsense the actual illness is like a run down system that needs a tune up.

My family has said snap out of it. Be an adult grow up. And as for explain I've done nothing but explain. Shouldn't they take some responsibility in it and make an effort to learn about this stuff on their own? First thing my sister did with my dad when he showed dementia signs was go online and learn about it. How many cancer patients you think explain it all? Or does their family learn about it but researching it on their own? We take enough blame and shoulder enough responsibility as it is, why do we have to have more?

I was pointing out how it is not how it should be. Families get impatient and expect miracles and we who suffer do so alone.

Great words. Does describe it so well.

I've read something like that about wanting someone to throw you a life preserver to help you hang on.

I don't think people see us drowning because we hide it so well. I know I did with my depression. It took awhile for people to notice I wasn't responding to phone calls or messages. But, I had an excuse I was a full time night nurse " always tired"

My new motto now that I've worked my way out of depression is to keep my " swimmies" on ( the things that kids wear on their arms when they don't know how to swim)

My other line comes from the movie Finding Nemo " just keep swimming"

I don't know where you are going. I do hope you clarify for us.

This isn't about just depression and anxiety day to day. This is about the struggle a lot of people have when they finally reach out to get help. And the drowning isn't meant to explain how they see us it's how we feel khaving this disease. This post isn't about the days you don't take calls or the days you go out on that fake smile and the says you force yourself to go shopping or to the doctor. This is when you try and explain the illness to them because yoire reaching out or just trying to explain it to them.

Got it

I had a major break down a few years ago

I know all about it

My not taking phone calls was a way to avoid the seriousness of my illness. I was so far down I couldn't get up.

I know all about the big crash

Been there

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