we moved. I did not like our old place. I guess moving gave me some brief relief.But I am stuck on thinking I hate the town I live in and the job I am in.
Negative thoughts are a struggle for me too. Sometimes they come so fast I don't even realize they are there. But when I catch myself having one I say "RESET". I chose reset after trying several other words that were actually negative. So say reset, take a deep breath and look around you at anything you can concentrate on. I do mean anything. A few minutes ago I was concentrating on a banana. Just look at whatever you find and notice every small detail about it. The shape, the colors etc. You won't catch all your negative thoughts but when you do I hope this helps a bit.
I just read a fantastic book. The main character was going through the same thing as you. It is called, 'The Midnight Library'. Maybe you have heard of it. I was feeling the same way and was drawn to this book, and it has given me a bit more optimism. I'm sorry for what you are going through.
Oh my goodness you are describing my thoughts to a tee. I've been like it my whole life right from childhood I'm now 64 and has held me back in life so much I'm really struggling more again at present and preferred life through lockdown which sounds silly and very selfish of me but cannot control it. I dread waking up and the day ahead I'm having counseling once a week but it's over the phone through something called the brain charity I don't know if this is helping or not but she does encourage me to talk about my past and how it still effects me which is something I've needed to do but other counselors haven't used that approach before she says these things need to be addressed as clearly they have been the source of me punishing myself ever since and become hard for me to deal with my life. I don't know what to suggest but do want to say it feels like you were describing me.
Same thing happened to me. I’m 3 months in to an episode and slowly getting better. Old thought patterns from my past came crashing back.
Meds help. It also helps to force myself to carry on with life and act like I’m not depressed. I also find hope in the hour or two each evening where my mind slows down.
I too have kids and it sounds like you and I have some similar thought processes. First of all, get help if you haven't. When it comes to parenting, just keep going through the motions. You will not be present at first. But eventually you will be slightly present, then a little more present. Etc.
I am able to be fairly present even with the awful thoughts in my head. I wish things were different. I wish those old loving feelings were back. But I'm still there for my kids, even if I'm depressed. You are too. I am certain.
Thank you for sharing. I can totally relate to not wanting depression and anxiety to consume you. I have struggled for years with the depression and anxiety and usually something triggers it to come back. Are you on medication? Do you have a regular counselor to talk to? As you put it the most important things is work on getting your thoughts in check. Focusing on the past really hurts us, plus then we tend to relive things over and over and it was tough enough going through it once. The following techniques really seem to help me. I hope you find them helpful too.
1) Remind myself that healing comes from the inside out. It starts with letting go of the things of the past, forgiving and changing our focus and behavior. Becoming aware of what you need through self-care and personal nourishment. Take time for yourself - you are worth it. Like taking walks, baths, massages, mani/pedi/, listening to uplifting music/sermons and anything that makes you feel refreshed and renewed.
2) The 557 breathing technique is take 5 deep breaths in while thinking good thoughts about yourself like I matter, I am special, I am strong and then hold the breaths for the count of 7 focusing on those words about yourself, then let out the breath slowly for 5 seconds letting go of any anxious, self-defeating, unhealthy thoughts. I do this one to three times a sitting.
3)The gratitude journal is writing down something good every morning and night something that went well in the day, or something I appreciate about myself. Taking our focus off of the anxiety and depression and focusing on positive uplifting things really helps. What you think is what you believe. So thinking uplifting things you believe those things but the reverse is true - thinking negative self-defeating things, you will believe those.
4) Emotional Freedom Tapping - bit.ly/3AVYNiX You use pressure points to tap on those points while you repeat positive uplifting things to yourself.)
I will be praying for you. Feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat. Hugs and God Bless
You might get your hormones, thyroid and adrenal glands checked out to make sure they are functioning properly. I went through an episode earlier this year and it turned out my testosterone was low so I started on shots for it. I also found out I was on the wrong thyroid medication for my hypothyroid and got that resolved. It took 3 - 4 weeks but I started feeling much better.
Fo the negative thoughts what helped me was the Work by Byron Katie which is about learning to question your thoughts.
Hi there. About a year ago, I posted some information about overcoming anxious thoughts which you may find helpful.
If you have an anxious mind, it produces anxious thoughts. Without anxiety being present, those intrusive thoughts wouldn't exist so you are basically fighting with yourself.
To overcome them, let the thoughts be there, let them have their say, let them frighten you then let them go. By drawing their sting and accepting them instead of wrestling with them (i.e. struggling, fighting, suppressing, distraction or doing anything else to try and get rid of them) they lose their power to shock and fade away. The more attention you give them and place belief in them, the longer they stick around. You have to let yourself think and feel everything and learn to accept the thoughts and feelings and do absolutely nothing to change it. It's only energy passing through which needs to be released. Acceptance is the absolute key to overcoming all the symptoms of anxiety.
I had thousands upon thousands of anxious thoughts. The ones that stuck were the ones that resonated with me and took time to see that it was just my anxious mind spewing out crap which had nothing to do with reality. All completely false but because they came with such force, I thought they must be true. Wrong. When I learned to stop giving them the attention they demanded to keep them alive, they all withered away.
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