Augh lonely!!!: I have written in a... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Augh lonely!!!

Cyh8513 profile image
34 Replies

I have written in a real long time.

But tonight I'm feeling ugly and lonely.

I look at myself in the mirror and go omg that's disgusting.

Everyone is getting married or engaged and well yeah I am a little jealous.

My time will never come! This just sucks

Thanks for listening to me vent

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Cyh8513 profile image
Cyh8513
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34 Replies
EleanorRose profile image
EleanorRose

Totally understand where you are coming from.

I find watching other people get married, engaged and have children really difficult. I used to feel happy for them, I still do, but the older I get, the more that feeling is also tinged with sadness for what I might never have and I suppose some jealousy.

I have to remind myself that everyone’s lives are different and actually, there are a lot of people in a similar position to me.

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you but I don’t particularly, just know you are definitely not the only one who feels like this sometimes.

Cyh8513 profile image
Cyh8513 in reply toEleanorRose

Hi thank you for your kind words.

🤗

Means a lot!!! Hugsss to you

20Voices profile image
20Voices in reply toEleanorRose

You are right lots of people are in your situation. Everyone lives are different and although we may feel alone, there are actually people out there that look at us any envy us for being single while they are married.

Cyh8513 profile image
Cyh8513 in reply to20Voices

Hi thank you for your support.

You're right about the whole being married and single situation.

🤗

20Voices profile image
20Voices

Sorry that you are feeling this way. It is hard to be on the outside and seeing all your friends getting married. The thing is that sometimes your married friends are also jealous of you because you can do what you want. Some of your friends with kids are most likely wishing they were you so they could have a little time to themselves.

What you see in the mirror is not what others see. Learning to be proud or yourself and love yourself is one of the best things I have done in the past few years. I used to look at myself and think God you are ugly, over weight, old and plain. Now I can look on the mirror and say I may be old and over weight, but I am beautiful because I am me.

I am alone tonight as well. I was married but to be honest right now I'd rather be divorced and lonely than with someone who was lying to me and messing with my head.

I used to work with someone who.was married with a child and she envied me because I was single. She envied me because I could go out if I wanted to and I didn't have a child and husband wanting my attention. I envied her for being married and having a child and she envied me, it was so ironic.

Please don't feel ugly, you are a beautiful person.

Take care

Cyh8513 profile image
Cyh8513 in reply to20Voices

Hi thank you for your support kind words and experiences that you shared with me.

I started crying at the end.

I just feel like a FAT DISGUSTING PIG.

What you said means a lot

🤗

20Voices profile image
20Voices in reply toCyh8513

I grew up with skinny sisters and was always the chubby one.

It was always a standing joke in the family about my large feet. The story goes that when my Dad came in to see me after I was born that the first thing he noticed was my big feet. He always made a joke about my big feet until one year my Gran bought me a run for my bedroom. It was in the shape of a foot. One night he made a joke about my large feet and I just said that I had a bigger one in my bedroom. We all laughed at that. I love my Dad even although he picked on my large feet. Turns out I was just growing into them.

You are not a fat disgusting pig. You are a beautiful person and you need to remember that. Please P.M. if you want to talk.

Sorry for making you cry.

Krn210 profile image
Krn210

You are beautiful inside and out. Love will find you when the time is right. Keep the faith. Don’t listen to those lies your head is trying to tell you.

Cyh8513 profile image
Cyh8513 in reply toKrn210

Hi thank you for your kind words.

Means a lot.

🤗🤗🤗

20Voices profile image
20Voices in reply toKrn210

That is so true. I am called 20Voices because I had a choir of negative voices in my head putting me down. I even named the leader Myrtle after the character in the Harry Potter books because that voice was so whiny.

We can all learn to love ourselves for who we.

Cyh8513 profile image
Cyh8513 in reply to20Voices

Hi I also hear voices.

They are mainly negative but once in awhile I'll get some positive ones.

They are a nusciance.

Sunshiningonme profile image
Sunshiningonme

You are not ugly or disgusting! I can definitely relate to feeling this way because I have been struggling with all of that as well.

Everyone I know is either married or has kids or getting engaged or moving forward in their life while I feel stuck behind everyone.

Just know that you are not alone and cut yourself a little slack! We have to be kind to ourselves in the end

Cyh8513 profile image
Cyh8513 in reply toSunshiningonme

Hi ty for your kind words means a lot.

🤗🤗

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Fortunately it's not only skinny good looking people who find love, I know coz I am neither! What's far more important is your personality and being comfortable in your skin so work on that instead is my advice x

Cyh8513 profile image
Cyh8513 in reply tohypercat54

Hi ty for your advice. 🤗💞

Your time will come. When I met my husband I knew I had been through everything I have and took the broken road that led me to him. God has a plan for you and it will be perfect when it happens. We walked down the isle to God Blessed the Broken Road because it lead me straight to him. I had loved and learned and was what he need when he needed it too. Don't question it. Just go with it.

As far as being ugly. Don't do that to yourself. When I married I was a size two but now seriously overweight and not attractive physically but I am a whole person with alot of heart and love to give and my husband still loves me no matter what. We come in all shapes and sizes and age isn't kind but has molded me to be a smart wonderful giving woman so I couldn't ask for more.

Cyh8513 profile image
Cyh8513 in reply to

Hi ty for your kind words and sharing your experiences with me.

Means a lot

🤗💞

in reply toCyh8513

Your welcome. I just want you to be happy.

magnoliaLA profile image
magnoliaLA

I feel that way too. Social media depresses me when I see the lives and achievements of everyone else. It’s a facade, I know. Seeing a photo of two people happy and smiling and tying a nice little bow of bliss around the entirety of their lives - I feel jealous and envious. Even knowing how deceiving photos can be and how easily misleading it is to portray a riveting snapshot as a complete summary of ones existence — I can’t help but twinge with emptiness and loneliness when I see the joys of others that I wish i had for myself but feel so far away from.

The catch is, avoiding all forms of contact (which I consistently do) can be just as isolating. Maybe there is no win there. But at least there is here, where we can see others show their genuine self rather than purely their best self. I’ve found better company in honest misery than automated smiles.

Cyh8513 profile image
Cyh8513 in reply tomagnoliaLA

Hi

I dont have any social media.

But I do compare myself to my brother a lot...

And my cousins.

Starting a family getting married all that stuff.

But ty for sharing your experiences with me hugsss

dream123girl profile image
dream123girl

You have so many amazing things in life...You just need to see those blessings...And when you start to see the blessings, your life will give more blessings than you even imagined...Just focus on positive sides of life..Nobody's life is perfect..It really did worked with me

Cyh8513 profile image
Cyh8513 in reply todream123girl

Hi ty for sharing your experiences with me.

And the advice I will look at more positive things then focusing on the negative hugsss

dream123girl profile image
dream123girl in reply toCyh8513

Just try seeing the postive side..you can write them in a paper and hang it on the wall...remember what you practice get stronger..it will be stronger than your depression and anxiety believe me

dream123girl profile image
dream123girl in reply toCyh8513

Think that you are beautiful..it works magically...pray for it in your whole heart...it actually worked for me because i was like you 4 months ago...it works ..isay it again

Cyh8513 profile image
Cyh8513 in reply todream123girl

Hi thank you

I will try that!!! Hugsss

💞🤗

dream123girl profile image
dream123girl in reply toCyh8513

💕💕

Philjc profile image
Philjc

Hi,

I'm in the UK , where we don't all have a shrink.

Don't look in the mirror, what you see isn't what others see, it's the wrong way round for a start, and your mind distorts what you think you see, especially if you have body dysmorphic disorder.

Is there anywhere that you go to where people accept you as you are and love you for yourself?

Cyh8513 profile image
Cyh8513 in reply toPhiljc

Hi ty for your kind words

I have mental illness groups that I go to.

And I also volunteer at a food pantry twice a week.

Its the being alone at night I'm have trouble with

Hugsss

Philjc profile image
Philjc

Wonderful that you volunteer at the food pantry.

I can't say about the being alone but to me that is a luxury! I feel I am on the autistic spectrum and I get bothered by noise, people and crowds and struggle to cope when I can't distinguish between conversations in a pub or cafe full of people.

If I was asked to choose between a quiet night in or having to be company for someone I am sorry but I would choose to be alone.

Cyh8513 profile image
Cyh8513 in reply toPhiljc

Hi ty for your kind words.

Everyone is different and it's ok to be by yourself.

Hugsss

maxsakura profile image
maxsakura

sorry for the late reply i just joined. i understand what you're going through, all my friends,cousins,classmates are getting married. and it doesn't help them flaunting their wedding pics on facebook, then later the pics of their kids. the only way i keep myself calm is by reminding myself that everyone's journey is different and mine will be too. and also the fact that maybe we singles envy the married its also true that the married envy us singles.

Cyh8513 profile image
Cyh8513 in reply tomaxsakura

Hi

You are so right! About everything that you just said.

Thank you

The grass is always greenier on the other side.

It's ok about the reply.

How are you liking about this website?

Welcome!

Hugsss

maxsakura profile image
maxsakura in reply toCyh8513

its growing on me. i just needed a place to vent out my feelings. to know that i'm not alone in this struggle, you know.

Cyh8513 profile image
Cyh8513 in reply tomaxsakura

That's good.

Right you are NOT alone

Hugsss

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