Feeling weird, concerned and at times amazing

[Starrlight]

Not sure. Ups then bad anxiety back and forth. Every once in a while irritable. Mostly feel amazing though. I wonder if it’s the start of mania. I feel like I’m floating.

It’s evening. This morning was pure hell. Depression and lots of anxiety. Later in the afternoon, feeling like cortisol surging through my body feeling very uncomfortable.

I feel free for now. I didn’t do anything that I can tell to cause the good nor the bad moods and sensations. I feel no control over it. I know what I choose to do and focus on makes a difference but today as an example is weird feeling to think I have such little affect.

Just thought I’d record this out of the ordinary as I’m used to being miserable and this is my proof that though feeling weird and a little concerned, I’m not miserable.

[Lidi_RT_24]

I have those ups and downs too and I am more weary of the good time than the bad. Like you know and are used to the lows that when the good times come around it's almost like you are just waiting for the lows to come back.

[Starrlight in reply to Lidi_RT_24]

Yeah true. I think to myself how much time do I have and is this even real, this not miserableness?

[newbie1956 in reply to Starrlight]

If it's not alcohol related, no new drug, no big check came in the mail and no spring fling i guess it could be mania. Hope for your life to become one of more ups than downs. Absence of misery is not pure joy, as you well know.

But for today, you can enjoy your family with continued goals in mind.

Today is Thankful Thursday

[Starrlight in reply to newbie1956]

Thanks no no alcohol and I actually have been taking a tincture called Valerian for the past few days so it could be that affecting mood. It’s used for sleep and anxiety.

[newbie1956 in reply to Starrlight]

Valerian is very helpful. Glad to hear it

[Junella in reply to Starrlight]

Check on the valerian. My husband was affected by it after using it maybe a few weeks. He had some sort of hallucination and he is not mentally ill but disabled at the time by neurological lyme disease.

[Starrlight in reply to Junella]

Thanks for the warning. I am taking a lot with so far no adverse side effects.

[hurtingheart1]

I’m glad your not miserable that’s for sure!!! I hope and pray for you that your good feeling moments stay longer& linger!!!💞🌻🌸

[Starrlight in reply to hurtingheart1]

Thanks so much 😊

[Hidden]

Do you think it is because you are getting rid of the toxins from the drugs you were reducing? If so this might be a sign of progress. Pleased you are having times of the day when you feel lifted. If you have not had any tests for hormone imbalance during the perimenopause it might help because some women especially with a history of PMT during their adolescence have very bad mood swings and can be aggressive. Reading an old book written by Katerina Dalton 1978 who was an endocrinologist and studied in depth to find how progesterone and oestrogen imbalance can disrupt mental health and this is out of control of the women. They may not be diagnosed with hormone imbalance but euphoria may be treated for PMT with antidepressant drugs which are not dealing with women's hormonal health. She was a representative of the GMC and had her own practice helping women who were violent with PMT and flew off the handle but were helped with progesterone injecttions or pills. I know you have had some awful life changes to deal with and the drugs you were on might have not improved your health and so hope your brave journey will give dividends so you feel happy throughout the day.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Oh very interesting, thanks Hawaii! Yeah what a journey. How are you doing?

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Plodding along..the usual background family ups and downs contribute to everyday worry.. jobs,..kids health ..that's what it is like when you are a mum..or a granny.Ha!

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

True. I find it hard keeping up with the kids sometimes.

[Bermuda72]

Omg how many times I've been up the hill down the hill feeling like I'm floating on air then out the blue I'm hit with irritability, my patience not like it was before & I notice inconsistency bring it on with ppl but not blaming them at all, what do u like to do when this happen I found once I catch it I try to redirect my attention on something else which can take 20 minutes but a pre-school puzzel helps me & a coloring book I know so kindergarten right😊 but it works for me I hope tomorrow a better day for u

[Starrlight in reply to Bermuda72]

So if you are not consistent meaning don’t stick to a routine, then it gets hard for you?

Nice that you have things to distract. I find it hard to distract myself once anxiety hits plus it feels debilitating but I try to do what I’d normally do like get out and not let fear rule.

[Bermuda72 in reply to Starrlight]

What I meant by inconsistency is with ppl they say or do 1 thing & then another & its basically a lie brings out the mania I'm me that's what I was saying but far as u finding something to redirect u has happen in the 1st few feelings or thoughts but has to be mindful of it that's why I said it takes 20 mins for the coloring book to work or the puzzel

[FOF9303]

I think it is great that you are journaling. It is good to look back and see how far you have come. I am glad you are not miserable today-- that is something positive When my son as going through a hard time, he read and read as much information that he could get his hands on. There might be an article on here that interests you list.ly/list/1CE4 Hope it turns out to be a great day for you.

[Starrlight in reply to FOF9303]

Thanks I read some writings from the link there. Hope your day is a good one too.