Hi, I'm new to this community - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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Hi, I'm new to this community

blueden31 profile image
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Hi, I'm new to this community. I struggle with anxiety and social anxiety. Especially when meeting new people. I want to be more involved and make friends but can't get out of my own head. Those that also struggle with social anxiety how do you cope?

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blueden31 profile image
blueden31
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5 Replies
NWGal profile image
NWGal

I have social anxiety as well. I work on the fear of being judged by others and fear others would deem me as unworthy of knowing - so I try to become invisible so no one will approach me. These issues go way back to childhood with parents who were not "available" to emotionally validate me. It might be worthwhile to see a mental health therapist to explore the reasons why you feel this way. Sending out good karma to you my friend.

Hello, welcome

Kainan profile image
Kainan

Hi. Welcome. I struggle with social anxiety too. It's always a good idea to try to get out of your head and bring your attention to the present. When we're thinking too much, then we're not listening, which I'd say is even more important than talking. Then, we become more aware and able to interact more naturally, and without the hinderances that might often come up from thinking too much. Coming onto this site is a great step; you can actively read what others have to say and if you choose to do so, respond with your own thoughts. It's a two way street. All the best to you

SheWrote profile image
SheWrote

The best thing to do is just do it. It took me many years, but when I finally made myself start talking to people, it became easier and easier. And now, I love to meet people! You can do it... believe in yourself and your uniqueness!

2resistant profile image
2resistant

Hi and welcome fellow social-phobe!

Q. "Those that also struggle with social anxiety how do you cope?"

A. With great difficulty!

No friends. Forgotten how to socialize though I'm not sure if I've ever known how.

Mind reading. Not paranoia but intense assumptions & false 'proofs'.

The world outside is a scary place and I've arrived at the ultimate consequence of avoidance and isolation - agoraphobia.

Major depression, with or without social anxiety.

Anticipatory anxiety, which always comes before a necessary anxiety-provoking situation. I call it 'Evil-Butterfly Syndrome' as opposed to those 'butterflies' you get when you're excited or even in love.

I prefer the older term 'social phobia' as it seems to make more sense. Much more is said in those 2 words than the other 2. Non-sufferers seem to pick up on what social phobia means very quickly compared to social anxiety (disorder). My own findings. Most know that a phobia is an irrational fear of something. Maybe 'Socialializing' or 'Social-Situation' Phobia would be even better. I'm not talking lables here, but more 'terms' used which explain as much as possible in as few words as possible.

Can't remember when it all started. My guess is I was born pre-disposed to it. Or simply born with it.

My dad is very shy but has found his own ways of dealing with it. Not necesseraly positive but I think he's generally happy most of the time. He seems to have acceptance.

I consider him 'lucky' that he didn't have to grow up in the society we have today, with the constant pressure to be this way or that way. To obey and fit in. To be as perfect as possible.

I get angry too. Part envy, part frustration. Seeing people care-free. Couples smiling and holding hands. Families and friends laughing and having fun. People simply moving along looking focussed or carefree. People chatting on their mobile phones.

I'm especially fearful youngsters who haven't yet learned to be polite and thoughtfull, they can be really cruel without even realising it.

I'm forever procrastinating too, putting things off until its usually too late.

All I found that even the slightest bit reliable is medication. And I've had 1 lasting positive experience with a medication called phenelzine, brand name Nardil. Doesn't help anymore even after a several year break. But it did give me an essential experience of being myself without fear of ridicule or scrutiny. Even if those things were clearly apparent it didn't bother me.

Very sociable too and constantly searching that out. Even craving for it instead of dreading it.

That period of being what I consider 'normal' and with a positive & healthy outlook is what keeps me going. I know its possible to be that way, the way I long to be again.

Excuse me for not reviewing and editing but I'm currently hypoglyciemic and must sort it out pronto before I collapse lol. Gotta laugh.

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