New and need support/advice

[laurab13]

Hi everyone,

I’m new to this app, and I’m basically looking for advice and support of how to cope/deal with my anxiety. Social anxiety is a big thing for me. A year ago I moved from my home town which was a big step for me, but in that year I haven’t really met or made any new friends. I struggle to go out and do things on my own to and will wait until my partner is around to do anything. I get on well with people at work by not to the point where id associate with them outside of work.

I really want to over come this so I’m not spending days by myself feeling isolated and lost .

Thanks

[AZ1970]

I moved almost 2 years ago to a new place. I still don't have friends here. It is hard to make new friends. I have decided to find events at my local library to attend to see if I can meet some new people. I have social anxiety, so it will be hard for me. But I need to do it.

[Lyn842]

You want to change so that is great! Take tiny steps. What is it that makes you not want to go out? What are your fears? Go out for a walk. Get to know your neighborhood, your town. Smile at someone you pass and say hi. It may be the only smile they get all day! It will make You feel better too. Let us know more of why you isolate and maybe someone can help.

[laurab13 in reply to Lyn842]

I’m not entirely sure to be honest, 1 fear is bumping into my partner’s ex which I guess is a minor issue. But if I do pluck up the courage to venture out it often involves spending money, where as I which I could just go for a casual stroll. Strange thing is I’m so good at interacting with people daily at work , it frustrates me that I can’t do this outside of work. I’m hoping as I’m a soon to be a first time mum that I’ll be able to get myself out there and meet new mums/dads at groups or ‘meet ups’. I think I’m also weary of trusting new people i meet .

[Lyn842 in reply to laurab13]

Congrats on your first baby! How exciting. That's an excellent way to get out for a stroll after the baby arrives. When are you due? Try not to wait tho. What's the worse that could happen if you bump into someone you don't want to see. You don't have to talk to them. If you happen to cross paths, smile and say hi. That will keep their head spinning for a few minutes! Haha. That will give YOU the upper hand!

[laurab13 in reply to Lyn842]

Thank you !! Not until January ,yeah I’ll try not too I’ll force myself at some point when this tiredness wears off,that’s very true and that is probably what I’d do in that predicament. Thank you 😊

[BA-H]

Hi Laura - One thing I noticed the last couple times I moved was that moving was a big deal and a stressful decision, and I had kind of a "buyer's remorse" sort of depression for 6-12 months after each move. I think I kind of wanted all the good parts from the past (friends and coworkers and restaurants and church and just generally the ability of getting around town and knowing where you are going) to instantly be mapped over into the new surroundings. In the meantime, I kept telling myself it was a horrible mistake that couldn't be undone. My point really has nothing to do with how to confront your social anxiety, but to accept that you made the decision to move for good reasons and it is ok for things to move a little slow and to feel down (even pretty big depression) in the meantime. So I'm not really answering the question you asked, but thought my experience might help you. Good luck!

Also, my son is older now, but my best non-work friends are still the parents of his best friends growing up. Again, it takes time, but....

[Kimingram0202]

Wow just reading through all these replies kinda gives me small hope. I also just recently moved and still have no friends and suffer from social anxiety. I do go to concerts alone when I really want to see it but the times in between I never go out. It’s just nice to see I’m not the only one I thought I was not likeable