Another day in alone

[Starrlight]

I didn’t even consider going out with my family today. They went to a fun skate/Halloween event I felt too disgusting to go. Too disgusted within my mind, for letting the sick thoughts and feelings get to me so. I’m really struggling to feel real right now. I just want to be alone merely existing but in that I’m sad that I’m not sharing happiness with others. Using my energy where it's most needed now. I am working on taking my power back at my own pace. I want to feel more a part of life; feel that I deserve to be here. I hope I make it over the mountains that lunge toward me, ready to fight. I will win.

[Coloradowalker]

“Feeling more a part of life” is what it’s all about, Starrlight. Sometimes I find that we have to force it and we usually are glad we did. I have to remind myself that there are good and bad days and that each little success or moment of contentment is progress, a step in the right direction. Yesterday, I had Zero anxiety, hiked with a friend in gorgeous weather, was present and engaged with my family, productive around the house, had an appetite, slept well, etc.... today it’s in the 20s in Colorado, my mood was off, I started to experience physical symptoms of anxiety and I noticed how quickly my mind tried to erase my beautiful day yesterday and tell me that I will always feel flawed and uncomfortable and I got pissed, really pissed. I’m tired of my thoughts dictating how I feel and how I act and react. I have to remind myself that I am strong, I’ve been through this before and I will feel better again. It’s only my thoughts and I am so much more than that. May you find peace today and we’ll continue to find ourselves again one day at a time.❤️

[Starrlight in reply to Coloradowalker]

Yes we are so much more than our thoughts. Cheers to finding ourselves one day at a time!

[Ddorne in reply to Starrlight]

We are so much more than our thoughts and our doubts. God bless you and Colorado walker.

LD

[Starrlight in reply to Ddorne]

God bless you ((((((((( Ddorne ))))))))

[Sunnidayz1]

Thank u for post Star. Im feeling down right now. I guess I just have to ride this wave. It happens. It's raining here in NY and it stinks. Im looking forward to tomorrow..lol

[Starrlight in reply to Sunnidayz1]

It’s a rainy day here in VA too. Good you are looking forward to tomorrow. I’m definitely not.

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to Starrlight]

Awe..why not? Im feeling better now. I needed to vent.

[Starrlight in reply to Sunnidayz1]

Glad you are better. I am exhausted and not looking forward to waking up at 5:00 am with depression, anxiety or whatever stressors happen. Wish I wouldn’t wake up.

[Florida1959]

It is strange how we have days like this , I just go with the flow now xxx

[Starrlight in reply to Florida1959]

Yeah it’s a good thing to do, to go with the flow like in nature, Florida.

[Tealribbon]

I agree. Feeling a part of life, of something bigger brings a sense of purpose and calm. I'm sorry u do not feel that now. Praying you will feel a tad better tomorrow. And you do deserve to be here... just because.....no performance necessary....

[Starrlight in reply to Tealribbon]

Thanks Tealribbon.

[Tbine]

Keep on empowering yourself. It will make you stronger in the long run. And you will have plenty more opportunities to go out at another time, just be sure your ok with staying in. No matter when it may be