Another day in the life...I guess.

[Knoxx]

Ok everybody Heres my situation. My mind is always trying to find a way to pull me down. Every day my mind is like “what have you done wrong recently, you have to have done something messed up”. Sometimes, yes this may be true, but for the most part, it’s nothing. For example, I took a couple days off of work to celebrate my birthday. It is now Tuesday, and I’m getting back into the flow of my usual everyday activities. I’m trying extremely hard to have a good day, but my mind is like “why did you enjoy yourself? You don’t deserve to have a good time.” I don’t know why I do this every day, but sometimes it puts me in a bad space and I hate being there. Sometimes, it gets to the point where I just want to be alone and cry. I just wanted to see if anybody else had this same issue.

[langedechu]

hey knoxx,do you know what got you started in thinking this way? Have other people told you that you're not good enough so you started to believe it yourself? My advice to you is to tell your head that it's wrong when those kinds of thoughts pop up. Self-affirmation is really important, even if what you tell yourself you don't actually believe.

[Knoxx in reply to langedechu]

I believe I’ve always been this way. I’ve been doing better with self positivity recently, but the negativity always hits me. It never fails. I use to let it take over my actions and I would be in some horrible situations. Now, it’s just a battle that I know I have to win everyday.

[langedechu in reply to Knoxx]

glad to hear you've been doing better - you're an awesome person, you just gotta tell yourself that till ya believe it!

[FearIsALiar]

Your thoughts aren’t very realistic. Replace those thoughts with something more positive. It helps writing it on paper

[Knoxx in reply to FearIsALiar]

Yes I try to stay positive now a days. I refuse to let it get the best of me, like it use to do. I just wish I could get rid of these thoughts. It gets extremely tiring.

[oliveu]

It can help to distinguish You from That Voice - that voice will never go away but you can get some space from it - and not let it win. It sounds like that voice may be coming from a parent or someone who talked to you that way a long time ago - and now you have internalized it. Its not a problem - especially if you can get connected to that fact that That Voice isn't actually You - its just the voice. And we all have it.

[Knoxx in reply to oliveu]

I honestly do not know where this manifested from. I’ve always seen myself as subpar. When I was younger, I didn’t have great self esteem. I still don’t today, but I believe that voice stems from my poor self belief as a child and it has never left. I’m better at fighting it now and letting it put me in a sunken place. Some days are better than others. I just do not like when I get like this and I know for a fact that I have given it my best. All I can do is continue to fight through it.

[Hidden]

Yes seems very familiar.

Depressions grip is constant negative self talk. Unless you find acceptance and switch perspective you will stay there.

I still live in fear some days but I’ve learned to tell myself that all that worry and tension is our bodies way of protecting itself and seeking the most comfortable way to appease its situation. If we feed ourselves nothing but negative self talk it grows like a garden.

Try to tell your own head “yes this sucks and is uncomfortable but my illness is telling me to quit right now...and I must not.” The less I fight the more it stays lurking so we must have a battle plan to keep it at bay.

[Knoxx]

Yes, you are definitely correct. It’s hard to negate the negativity in my head, but I always try to find a healthy way to overcome it. It just sucks to have this voice that tells you that you are always wrong when you are not. I just fight harder and harder everyday to come out victorious over this. I refuse to give in anymore.