Lonely: Why does no one want to be my... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Lonely

Mifresita profile image
34 Replies

Why does no one want to be my friend. No one wants to become close friends with me. No one tries to contact me and it’s like I don’t even exist for some of the people I care about. Why? Why doesn’t anyone reach out to me or want to hang out with me

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Mifresita profile image
Mifresita
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34 Replies
TheBooG profile image
TheBooG

I feel the same.

Mifresita profile image
Mifresita in reply to TheBooG

It sucks that this happens to people :( feels bad man

dhause1959 profile image
dhause1959 in reply to Mifresita

Yes it is hard to make friends being depressed. I am struggling my self. They don't want to deal with the negativity. Its the depression not you. Groups and depression groups someone that understands what your going throw and won't leave during your hard times. Good luck god bless

Mifresita profile image
Mifresita in reply to dhause1959

Wonderful advice! Thank you.

quitter333 profile image
quitter333

Because you ask these weird questions?.

.

I don't know how old you are, but in my 30+ years experience good friends come and go. Though I upkeep some once-a-year contact with my childhood best friends, most of my friends have changed over time.

Especially now - I am doing the overachiever path and sadly A LOT of my friends are just not into idea of working their asses off. They enjoy comfort - and within last 3-4 years I think I have slowly grown apart from my old lifelong friends.

I feel I am wasting time when I am spending time with them. And perhaps they feel same about me.

Sadly.

So idk what is your idea of a good friend, but

1. if you think you need some superpersonal friend to tell how you feel - you dont. Most average people will be ok.

2. If you want adventures - seek people who do what you want to do. It is a big mistake trying to persuade your existing friends to change their hobbies/lives to join you. It happens rarely, it is usually a lot of your energy wasted. I mean - don't try to change the comfort of others - they live as they live because they get something good out of that, respect that.

3. Friendships build over time. No-one wants a friend who is always sad, needy and whiny. People want friends who enhance their energy, not steal it.

4. And friendships form over time. A lot of good friends have emerged for me solely because I simply hang around places I enjoyed - soccer teams, bars, etc.

..

I think the answer for you - you are trying to befriend some specific people, which you should rather ditch and find someone else.

Mifresita profile image
Mifresita in reply to quitter333

I’m 17 in high school and people mostly have cliques. I only have my boyfriend. The reason I need a friend to hang out with is to hang out with someone else besides him all the time. I’m always counting on one person to do stuff with me but if I have multiple friends I can just do stuff with whoever is free. And a best friend would be better because you’re closer to them. Also, you’re kind of mean. I didn’t like how you were kind of mocking my question.

quitter333 profile image
quitter333 in reply to Mifresita

ah, pff, I thought you were old. Being old usualy means you are already tired of people so friends are secondary, but at the same time you are a bit limited as to the groups you can join (unless you cool), e.g. it's less likely to join hardcore dance club or ice hockey team at 60.

My advice to you - stop seeking people. seek some things you enjoy. People will appear. Talk, exchange ideas.

17 means you are off to uni in 1 year. tons of new people.

Join any dance, art, sports, drunk, writer, science anything and you'll find plenty of people.

.

If you think I am mean, whatever will you do if you ever get teased by friends. Probably stop friendship, eh?

Mifresita profile image
Mifresita in reply to quitter333

Getting teased is only fine if you know each other well. If not it’s included as breaking the social norm and can come off as snappy.

Momwhocooks profile image
Momwhocooks

You have to reach out to people and make plans to do something fun. People are caught up in their own lives, it doesn’t mean they dislike you. I’ve had to learn that as well. And if they still don’t reciprocate, then they’re just not available and then it’s time to find new people. Try joining classes, meet-ups, etc,.. to meet new people. Look up events happening around where you live for ideas. Good luck, finding friends is not an easy task, but you can do it.

Mifresita profile image
Mifresita in reply to Momwhocooks

😊 thanks!

GFH6444 profile image
GFH6444

I feel exactly the same, so I completely understand. What hurts the most for me is that my siblings never check on me. I feel like I could fall down my stairs in my house and be stuck there for weeks because no one calls me, no one texts me. I would love to have some friends, but I only have one and she lives far away and because she also deals with depression and anxiety we don't communicate a lot, but I understand why with her because we battle the same things. I have tried numerous times to explain myself, my struggles, to my family and they just don't get it, and it never feels like they even try to put themselves in my place to try to understand even in the slightest. It's heartbreaking. They say they love me, but as they say, actions speak louder than words and there are no actions backing up the words. It's definitely a struggle to make and keep friends when you are depressed, I know for me, it's almost like I just want someone to magically appear, completely understand me, my quietness, my selectiveness, my quirks, my depression, and just look at me and tell me that they are there for me, even if it's just to sit in the same room and not really talk, or just give me a hug. I feel your pain and your struggle.

Mifresita profile image
Mifresita in reply to GFH6444

I only hang out with my boyfriend so yeah. I hear that isn’t a good way to have a good relationship and it’s important to have a life of your own. He sometimes goes out and does stuff with his friends and then no one wants to hang out with me so I don’t end up doing anything. Tuff

pink318 profile image
pink318

Before my son moved in to college I told him to look for a group that he can join in so he can have friends. He found a Christian youth group that meets twice a week. This group is a big help for my son to enjoy his college life.

You can try to join some clubs in your school or connect with your local church for some youth groups. I hope you can have friends that you can talk to or hang out with. Keep us posted, God bless.

Mifresita profile image
Mifresita in reply to pink318

Great idea!!! Thank you! I’m super shy so I will have to get out of my comfort zone but it’s amazing advice

pink318 profile image
pink318 in reply to Mifresita

Thank you.

Keep us posted :-)

pink83737 profile image
pink83737

ill be your friend!!

Mifresita profile image
Mifresita in reply to pink83737

Yay!

pink83737 profile image
pink83737 in reply to Mifresita

yay for new friends 😊

Daisymom profile image
Daisymom

Friend here! 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪Have a cookie

Daisymom profile image
Daisymom in reply to Daisymom

I don’t always know what to say… But cookies are always good🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🤗🍪🍪🍪🤗🍪🍪🍪

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Daisymom

Wait Daisymom, let me contact "CallmeDanielle" We are both cookie monsters :) xx

Daisymom profile image
Daisymom in reply to Agora1

Hey! Sometimes cookies are the only answer LOL 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪 or butterflies I like butterflies too🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Daisymom

I sometimes get butterflies in my stomach but I don't think

that's what you mean lol xx

Yes butterflies are so delicate and beautiful.

Daisymom profile image
Daisymom in reply to Agora1

Butterflies are beautiful and wonderful… And awaken us in the most pure natural way 🦋

in reply to Daisymom

I love butterflies 🦋 and mice 🐭 and deer 🦌

Daisymom profile image
Daisymom in reply to

Dear Yep… Mice? Haven’t had a lot of exposure to them but all creatures are wonderful aren’t they?

Mifresita profile image
Mifresita in reply to Daisymom

Since all creatures have a soul yes they are all beautiful and welcomed by me. (Except spiders so scary!)

in reply to Mifresita

I agree. Bigger than my pinkie ? Noooooo. But I never kill them.

in reply to Daisymom

They are sooo cute Daisymom 🤗

in reply to

Mice I mean. Spiders .. nah 😂

Mifresita profile image
Mifresita in reply to Daisymom

I love 🍪 cookies! Thanks 😊 social media makes me feel better. This app makes me feel better

Daisymom profile image
Daisymom in reply to Mifresita

🍪🍪🍪🦋🦋🦋🦋

in reply to Daisymom

Oops forgot the cookies 🍪 😊

in reply to Mifresita

Me too Mifresta 😊🦋🦄🐭🦌

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