Unwanted.

[Balloon5]

I feel useless. My partner pushes me away and his excuse is that he’s tired from work.. on the weekends I was usually hanging out with friends and when I didn’t take our son with me he’d get upset so then I started bringing my son along with me and now he says me and my son aren’t home enough but when we are home he goes outside and hangs out with his friends and drinks the whole weekend away.

I try laying with him to get some sort of affection out of him and he just gets angry and yells at me “what do you want?”. I feel like there’s someone else and he’s only with me because of our son. I feel so worthless, confused, and manipulated. It’s been 4 years and I always result to this feeling that I’m never going to be good enough. I wanna go away.. I feel like him and my son will be better off without me.

[fauxartist]

It sounds to me like this relationship is done. Ask him if he no longer wants to be there, and tell him your not going to be the brunt of his frustration anymore, you deserve better. And that you want to go to counseling together....if he says no....then there probably is a root to this you may not want to know...but why be in a loveless relationship no matter what it is. You cannot be left suffering and alone...Children understand when things are not going well between the parents, and it does affect them. Kids also usually bounce back pretty well if you do separate. And if they have issues, they too can go to counseling.

[Balloon5 in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you my dear friend 💚

[Hidden]

Hi

A question: did your partner make you feel like you were the centre of his universe in the first few months?

Cherished and loved like never before?

[Balloon5 in reply to Hidden]

Not necessarily, I should’ve seen the red flags from the start but I fell so emotionally dependent on him because of the neglect that was given to me from my parents all my life I finally felt like someone loved me even if it is toxic...

[argh52]

Sounds like you and your son would be better off without him.

[Balloon5 in reply to argh52]

I care about him so much and I wish he would better himself..

[Lullee]

Hi Balloon5,

I'm slightly puzzled here? You are in a relationship with somebody who is appears to be contributing your anxiety to go out the roof?

It appears that your relationship is over by your partner's behaviour.

You have to put yourself first & your son, by no means leave your son. He needs you & you need him you're his mother.

Try to calmly have a 1 to 1 with your man & discuss these problems ask him is it done because his behaviour/speech is a clear indication that he's done.

Your son is not done with you.

Don't ever let anybody play on your weaknesses & treat you like crap, make you feel like crap.

Does he know you suffer with anxiety? Because he clearly knows what buttons to push to make you feel worthless.

He's not worth it.

You & your son are worth it.

[Balloon5 in reply to Lullee]

Thank you for the encouraging words, I feel so stupid to be with him but I can’t seem to let go. They say comfort can be stronger than love sometimes I don’t know if it’s either??? I feel so emotionally dependent on him, the little bit of attention/affection he’s given me is probably the most I ever gotten, does he love me? Or am I just putting up with it because I never had it? Why am I so needy?

[Wolf2]

😢 please don’t feel like you are worthless YOU ARE NOT you are just as important than anybody.

I won’t lie it is very hard being a single parent I was for 9 years before I met my husband but if you feel it would be better for you that’s a choice you have to make if you do then you can do it you will be stronger than you think you have to do the best thing for you and your son he needs his mummy but he needs her to be happy if that means being on your own then so be it.

You will make the right decision go with your gut feeling I do hope you will find the strength do what’s best for you x

[Balloon5 in reply to Wolf2]

Thank you wolf2 you are so supportive 💕 bless your heart ♥️

Sometimes I think I know what I need to do but then I fall right back into “everything will be fine” I love him so much but I always question if he loves me? Is it worth staying to love someone who you are unsure of loving you?

[Wolf2 in reply to Balloon5]

Hi sweetie

I’m so sorry you feel upset only you can decide what’s best for you and little one,

If you still love your husband maybe have a proper chat you could say that you want to have a proper talk if you could both write down the pros and cons of what you truly feel then go through them together

He may well love you but he maybe can’t handle seeing you with this anxiety and feels he can’t help

If you could get him to read up on it a little bit I expect he is maybe feeling the same as you with his drinking

My daughters husband has a major drinking problem but we can’t help him as he won’t admit it life is certainly a bitch at times but stay strong you can do this head held high and go for what you want x

[NWGal]

Dear friend, have you just come out and expressed your feelings? Love yourself enough to establish some boundaries with him. Sounds like you're telling us it's over. However, I believe you should value yourself as a human who will not allow him to treat you badly. It's a risk, but nonetheless one you might want to take to begin to resolve this one way or the other. We care!

[Balloon5 in reply to NWGal]

Yes, thank you ♥️ I don’t know how to love myself.. I always try to get some kind of validation from someone or something. I’m just lost cause

[DottieLucy]

Balloon5, First off, the problem is NOT you - it is him. No one, and especially you, deserves to be treated like dirt or manipulated in any way! Please, please get yourself some help - a counselor can definitely help you sort out your feelings and why you continue to allow this person to do this to you. Secondly, your son will NEVER be better off without you - a mentally sound, mentally healthy, emotionally sound, emotionally healthy you, spiritually sound, spiritually healthy you. YOU are his mom - the only one he will ever have. again, please get help soon!! I am praying for you!

[SpitFire2018]

I know the feeling 😭😭 The ONLY thing I get is an arm over me at night and snoring in my ear. I gave up EVERYTHING for him and now a year later he just told me to move out 😡 I've got No One and No Where to go. But doctors cram meds down me and tell me "things will get better" I don't know about You but I'm tired of waiting!!