Can BPD sufferers ever learn how to manage emotions?

If something upsets me I just fall to pieces. I feel so hurt and cannot cope. I have borderline personality disorder. Can we ever learn not to let things hurt so much?

[Shanpa69]

Hi Autumnday

I just wanted to say don’t feel bad about falling to pieces and not being able to cope you have a condition and we have remember we are not like this on purpose. I have BPD too and feel the same sometimes but we have remind our self it’s part of the condition and try and work on ways to look after ourselves. I have been diagnosed 11 years now and I still find it hard. Please try and do something nice for your self

Take care

[Hidden in reply to Shanpa69]

Thank you so much for your lovely reply. I am sorry you have BPD too. I know how hard it is to deal with.

[fauxartist]

I would do some surfing and find some coping mechanisms and see what others are doing to help them, I do understand this a bit as my 'outer child' gets hurt easy because of my CPTSD and abandonment issues, and it's embarrassing sometimes when I just get upset or shutdown, but it's a disease, it's not our fault...we can only do what our therapist suggests and I take meds for my depression which also helps with my mood swings when I'm triggered. I don't have BPD, but can appreciate your struggle....

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you for sharing that. I really appreciate it. Its true, its our illness not our fault.

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

I was watching a show about young people incarcerated for crimes that were basically from acting out, and drug related crimes. The majority of them were children that were abandon by a parent, or parents emotionally abandon them because they were on drugs or dysfunctional. And all these kids wanted was someone to care about them. Many of them clearly had an inability to control emotional outbursts and went into manic rages when provoked....and the staff at this particular facility were incredibly patient with them, but you saw all the signs you read about here...I just hope they are being treated and not just punished. Although we do have to be accountable for our actions, as far as what we do to others, we have to find ways to cope, take our meds, and know our boundaries.

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

That is very sad. Those poor children. It is hard when having a dysfunctional upbringing to remain healthy. The staff at the place do sound great though.

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

Yes, it was incredible to see such a different approach to these young teenage girls other than just more anger and abuse, they were given understanding, and taught boundaries, given an education, and could even graduate from HS and get counseling. I have never seen a facility like this before, older offenders said they were made worse in juvenile detention and learned most of their criminal ways there first. There were only a little over 40 girls in this place though, so I don't know why I have never seen this before. Norway treats prisoners humanely, other than the criminally insane that do have to remain there, these people are taught careers and given therapy, at both these facility's it's around 80-90% of no repeat incarceration. The one thing lacking sadly is what these kids had to go back to ...usually what they came out of to get arrested to begin with.

[san_ray70 in reply to fauxartist]

My daughter suffers from depression, I have not seen her or my grandaughter for eight years. My grandaughter sent me a message on facebook, I was very pleased. It did not last long though. Last month my mum pased away, I did not expect my children to turn up and I was right. It would have been nice for one or the other of them to send flowers.

[fauxartist in reply to san_ray70]

I'm sorry you’re estranged mostly from your children. Some families are just broken. And when some of us are finally getting help and feeling healthier within ourselves, often the family does not follow. They stay stuck in the past and just are not able to accept us for who we are now. On the other hand, I am not willing to put up with any toxic behavior from some of my family either. I love my sister, her kids, and one of my brothers....the rest are fine right where they are. I only over the last 10 years reconnected with some of them, before that I was off the radar for about 6 years going through my own personal hell. I had severed all contact with my mother and a couple brothers. We cannot change others, only how we choose to accept them or not in our lives today.

[dziner05]

I too have BPD. Was finally diagnosed just this year after a life of pain, and struggling. Please look into DBT therapy. Our disease is the only mental illness that can be put into remission. DBT therapy can do this. I am starting as soon as I get back to Chicago. Look into DBT clinics, and make sure that the one you choose is “full fidelity”. Please look it up and see what you think. I have an amazing therapist who finally got it right. Feel free to message me if you have any questions. You are not alone. ((Hugs))

[RcKitty]

I have been officially diagnosed with borderline just recently after years of being treate for mdd and anxiety/panic disorder

TRigger warning:soo alone on xmas, as usual...empty, sad, I have driven away everyone with my "drama" . I know therapy, dbt therapy, etc may help ease the distress... it works sometimes ...but I know I will have these relentless, uncontrollable, emotions everyday forever and that in itself makes me want to not be here "forever" for now I am surviving one day at a time... but here today in deafening silence on a day my family , who have utterly abandoned me" are all together, glad that I am gone...crushing my soul..i just ache so much not to be alone, but do not know how to not be alone...merry xmas