Does anyone else have a very specific trigger to your depression? I don’t like saying mine because everyone thinks I am faking it, which is great (I’m being sarcastic). I only experience depression when I am employed. It’s like the moment I get a uniform a giant brick of depression hits me in the face and it nearly kills me every time. I have been through 5 years of therapy and medication but the result is always the same. Job=crippling depression. No one understands that, not even the people in my life that also suffer from depression. I genuinely feel like everyone I know just thinks I’m lazy and don’t want to work. No one is going to believe me, no one ever has. I have gone years without employment and have been totally fine but the moment I get a job my depression is back full swing.
The trigger to my depression isn’t the only recurring thing. As a matter of fact, every episode is exactly the same.
I guess I am just wondering if there is anyone else out there like me? With such uniform depression?
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booksta
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It sounds to me like Claustrophobia. Job=trapped. Is there something you can do from home?
I have a few specific things that irritate me but this is about you finding work that doesn’t cage you in.
I used to do a magazine route. I worked my own hours at the hospital. I didn’t have a boss. Maybe you can be a bus driver or find a job where you get to be outside part time.
No one understands why I live in a tiny house. I can afford anything I want. I see big houses as a trap. It would own me.
Does the job trap or own you? Look for freedom in work.
My trigger is the thought of my ex getting married to be lady he cheated on me with. I usually feel paralysed with fear whenever I picture them together and automatically fall into depression. I don't know what to do, I feel he should be the one worrying cos I was really good to him but here I am single, searching and very sad.
Im sorry. Cheating is the worst! My ex did marry the woman he left me for. She truly is crazy so in a way they deserve each other. I know your pain and its a bad pain. Im single and i had one short relationship a couple months after him. It never worked because i was still grieving over my ex. Ironically that ex came back and we are just friends. Not the cheater but the good ex.
I read thst the one who stays fauthful in a relationship usually is tge one who doesnt move on right away. Now tge cheater sasly does but karma is coming. I'm still waiting for it to hit but when it does I cant wait to see it. I honestly would not be surprized if he is cheating on her. He cheated on every woman he was ever with and on his wife for 20 years. They dont change. Im sorry for your loss but if you need a friend Im here for you 💜💗
It may be the idea of being in too much of a routine that makes you feel depressed. I experienced similar when I was working jobs that were a slower pace, the busier I was, the better I felt. Now I work at a job when I am constantly moving and talking to different people and doing different things. How you feel is very understandable and valid!
Mine is the opposite. At work I am happiest, resourceful, in control, respected. When I get home it's the opposite. I have to live with mother in laws since my husband won't work and we have a child there too. I feel isolated, sad, disgusted, ashamed and helpless there. Weekends are the worst. 😒
Hmm Yeah I have triggers my ex, my childhood, and my parents. They all send me to dark places.
As for you I believe you. It is real and if that what triggers it then its real. I agree maybe try to find a job thats more flexible or where you dont feel trapped. Is there anything that you truly enjoy doing? Maybe start there. Im sorry people say things like that to you. Its hurtful. I hear the same but I wish i could work but I don't think I'll be able to. I shut down for days with this depression. I had to file for disability and a rude person told me something that really hurt my feelings because she was basing her opinion of my from gossip not facts. I'll admit when i mess up but I hate being accused of doing things that im not doing. One of my pet peeves. I hope you get things straightened out. Take care ☺
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