Triggers

[kglassman]

I found out what my trigger is for my anxiety, and it’s my job. There are parts to my job that I love though, and can’t quit for financial reasons. How can I make a more positive connection in my mind with my job so it doesn’t trigger my anxiety?

[infinitiram]

I'd also like to know! Stay positive. I hope you find an coping mechanism.

[strongmom15]

What is it about your job that is causing your anxiety? Maybe if we can pinpoint it we can figure it out...

[kglassman in reply to strongmom15]

There is a lot of pressure put on me to be perfect. I am a dance teacher for a competition dance team so I have to try to make sure I am providing them with the choreography and the technique needed to win competition. And the owner of the studio adds to the pressure.

[strongmom15 in reply to kglassman]

What is the owner of the studio saying to you to make you feel that way? I totally get it though. Just feeling tons of pressure to not mess up. Most of my adult life I’ve worked jobs where metrics were reported on everything I did and said. So literally judgement was around every corner as soon as I walked in. It’s a lot to handle.

[kglassman in reply to strongmom15]

She just checks into class all the time and comes in and just stares while I teach. It makes me uncomfortable

[strongmom15 in reply to kglassman]

Yeah I get it. It’s hard having people watch over you while you try to do your job. Sounds like your job is just high pressure as it is. I’m sure you have your boss, and then the kids and then the parents all watching what your doing. But at the end of the day, if you’re doing the best you can, that’s all you can expect of yourself. Let go of the expectation of being perfect and not messing up because EVERYONE messes up. I’ve always been a type A personality and hate when I make mistakes and am proud of how hard I work. But I realized after years of working jobs that felt really stressful for me that I was putting a lot of the pressure on myself. I expected to be the best and to not fail. So I just assumed everyone was thinking the same thing. But in reality, they probably weren’t as hard on me as I was hard on me. So, first remember that you are doing great!!! And maybe to have an open conversation with the studio owner. Maybe ask them if they have any thoughts on your performance. Maybe they’ll say you’re doing a great job! Some people just like to micromanage because they don’t trust anyone. But that’s their issue, not yours. Ask them to let you know if they think you can improve somehow, so you don’t have to worry about what is in their head. But try to let go, relax a little and enjoy what you love about your job. And if you find the pressure, your boss or anything gets to be too much...maybe you could find another position with a different company that allows you to feel more relaxed. Because what’s important is your health and happiness. Not what your boss or anyone else thinks.

[rach1402]

Unfortunately I get the impression that's the nature of the beast with competitive dancing and it sounds like your boss isn't helping. Do you think it would help if you changed to a different dance school, perhaps one where you teach much younger children so the emphasis is more on having fun than trying to be the best? My daughters and some of their friends have had themed dance parties, eg Disney frozen and other more gender neutral or even ones that traditionally appeal to boys eg pirates of the Caribbean. They don't necessarily have any dance experience but they enjoy dressing up and having fun with their friends for a couple of hours without any pressure, just an optional basic short performance of dance and drama at the end for the parents before they go home. You can use themed tableware and party bags, dress up yourself and I think it must be well paid because it was one of the most expensive parties my kids have ever had! If you can rent/lease/buy your own premises you could do that and dance classes, summer camps etc as and when it suits you, be your own boss, all of the reasons you chose that career without all the stress that goes with it if you don't have to get involved in competition. Give it some thought, it might be the perfect solution for you. I hope that helps but if not I hope you find something that does. Anxiety is not pleasant and I hope you can find a solution that works for you x

[kenster1]

hi im glad you got to pinpoint your triggers lets hope it is the beginning of recovery for you.i was the same as you recently in my job financially I couldn't quit so had to ride out the contract after having a breakdown.it sounds like your job is physically tiring maybe you need some time out just to relax and do nothing for a week or two.