Everyone else seems so normal

[Anxiousdoe]

Does anyone else ever get this feeling when they're out and about. When I see other people in department stores or supermarkets they always seemed so normal, like they can't possibly feel as anxious or depressed as I do and then I compare myself to them and put myself down. I think why can't I be like everybody else, why am I always anxious and depressed it's like a vicious cycle

[CatIsMyCopilot]

I *absolutely* feel this way when I'm anxious! I feel like the thing I'm most anxious about, actually, is myself and how I'm bad/different from others. I've been anxious about other things before, but this is the one consistent thing. As you say, it's a vicious cycle, because the anxiety over this is exactly what I'm feeling anxious about.

We're not alone, even if it feels that way.

[Anxiousdoe in reply to CatIsMyCopilot]

Thank you so much for your understanding reply,and kindness.

[lillyofthevalley37]

I understand what you are saying and being out and about in public does make you feel like that but the reality is quite different

I was sat on the bus and I thought if they were all asked to put their hand up if they had suffered from depression or anxiety there would be a show of hands

Also my sister had bipolar disorder and she said once " half of ......... has been in St Marys " St Marys being the local mental health hospital dots being our town

Things aren't what they seem but people put on their best face in public

[AlLeYkAt86-]

I know exactly what you mean, like there's some secret I'm not in on.

[Agora1 in reply to AlLeYkAt86-]

That's a good way in explaining the feeling xx

[AlLeYkAt86- in reply to Agora1]

Something similar happened to me last week. I went to sit in a park just to sit. There were trees and flowers, watched squirrels and birds, the only reasonable park activities. And people walked passed me while I was sitting on the bench and it was like being in a workplace you're not employed at. That, "I don't belong here," feeling.

[AlLeYkAt86- in reply to AlLeYkAt86-]

Like if I was sitting reading a book in the middle of a construction site sans hardhat, tools, blueprints, etc.

[Agora1 in reply to AlLeYkAt86-]

I hear you AlLeYk, try a smile next time. I've never understood

people who stare at others. I mean really stare enough to make

them feel uncomfortable. There was time I felt like saying

"take a picture, it lasts longer". However, no one is worth my

starting the anxiety engines revving up and so now I smile back.

Makes me feel calmer and if it brightens their day as well, so be it xx

[AlLeYkAt86- in reply to Agora1]

It hurts when I smile. I just want to grab these chipper b*stards and yell, "What's the secret?! Tell me the codes! Is there a handshake or a special dance?!?!"

[Agora1 in reply to AlLeYkAt86-]

It hurts when you smile because it's not coming naturally. You are so filled

with anger towards the world that you become your own worst enemy.

There is no special magic practice that turns a person into a chipper one

It must start with yourself. Practicing Affirmations may help turn your

frown upside down. Really It can start out as pretending (like an actor)

until finally you start to believe the part you are playing. To me, the world

is like a big stage. And once I step out, I'm committed to do my best which

in turn puts me back in control. xx

[Agora1]

At one time anxiousdoe, I felt like that.. How is it that everyone is

going about their business without a care in the world as I feel as if

I'm going to jump out of my skin any minute. It can't possibly be.

And so I have started noticing the look on people's faces as well as

their stance. Believe me, not many are in a relaxed mode. Everybody

tunes the world out in a different way. Now a days it's done mostly with

their phones. It keeps them from having to look and interact with others.

The ones who don't have their phone to lean on, tend to walk around with

a blank look on their face. If I smile at them, they are the ones who seem

to respond with a grateful thanks that someone noticed them and hopefully

brightened their day.

So is everyone who's walking around got it all together? I don't think.

I think we have all learned to hide our problems and issues in a different

way. You are not alone, not only on this forum but in life general. xx

[LilyAnnepuppy]

I can feel alone in a room full of people, comparing their outsides to my insides.

[K709]

I feel this way daily too. Especially at work. And like somebody else said, I am most anxious about myself. When I think about the possibility of my anxiety acting up, I get so panicked. It is a terrible cycle and one that I am wishing I could break. The same goes for my depression. Seeing others function normally is hard when you know you are struggling inside. This is my first post and I am relieved that others have felt the same. You start to think you might be the only one after a while.

[hypercat54]

Hi it sounds like you are ashamed of yourself and for feeling the way you do? I bet you look very normal in public too and that others are thinking she is together and I wish I could be like her.

When you get to know others though rather than just a very surface level you will find most people have the same fears and worries you do. We all worry about making an ass of ourselves in public. Do be assured though that others aren't thinking about you as they are much too busy thinking about themselves and their own lives to judge you or anyone else.

You are enough as you are and are as good as anyone else, so never compare yourself to other people as you don't know what is going on in their lives. x

[Anxiousdoe in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you for your kind,nderstanding reply.

[Beevee]

Define normal? Life is full of ups and downs. Learn to accept the downside in the same way you accept the upside. It is the constant battle to keep sunny side up that keeps people stuck under a dark cloud. Those clouds will lift when you stop trying to change how you currently think and feel. Learn to let go and those weird thoughts and feelings will fade away.

By the way, when you find out what normal is, please can you let me know. 😉

[Anxiousdoe in reply to Beevee]

Thank you for your kind answer.

You're so right,what is normal anyway🙃

[Hidden]

I have felt this way every day for the last 2 years when trauma struck. I am 61. Before that I was totally ‘normal’. I wish I never knew normal....

[Kiritsugu_Emiya]

I see that all the time. I often feel like maybe I'm part of a simulation or test that I don't know about because how is it possible that everyone seems so happy and I am the outlier living in this constant grey as if I am unable to experience true happiness...