Scared and making big changes for the better of my health

[Starrlight]

Of a lot of change I have decided on... but hey I wouldn’t get to be courageous if I never got scared part of the time. Ya know? Oh my... here I go... wishing all of you the very best who are being courageous during big changes!

[JEG325]

If you need an extra shoulder during your change, I am here for you as always, S! I have pretty broad shoulders too. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, my favorite bright, shinning star!

[Starrlight in reply to JEG325]

Thank you 😊 🙏

[JEG325 in reply to Starrlight]

Even a star as bright as you needs someone to keep watch over it sometimes. Every time I look up and see a bright start at night, I think of you. Whatever you're trying to succeed at, I know you will. I will be right here cheering you on too!

[Starrlight in reply to JEG325]

Omg thanks sooooooo for being here for me and thinking if me. I was just having a hard time with heart flutters because of some changes in my body not being dependent on any junk that isn’t healthy. Coming off meds and stuff can be great a really amazing change but it’s difficult as hell to go through but I am veeeeery determined. I just need to get through the scary sensations and such and my thinking has to become more and more positive non stop. Well I think I’ll focus on my littlest one right now. Write to you soon my friend. How are you?

[JEG325 in reply to Starrlight]

I am super awesome. I am happy, gaining ground on my health and I love Sue with all of my heart. I have sooooo much love and support to to give out right now. I am busy watching football today and my beloved says that's fine and I should have this time for myself if I want it. I feel so lucky to have found Sue and her love is the foundation from which I reach out to help all others. If you have any trouble whatsoever, I can help. After all, you kept me here by welcoming me aboard and supporting me when things were at their roughest for me. The least I can do is return the favor. But, I will carry it one step further.....I will be your friend and strong supporter forever. I won't abandon you or ignore you for any reason. You can rest assured that JEG325 has your back 100% at all times. Keep up the good work, my awesome friend!

[Starrlight in reply to JEG325]

Yeah! Right on.

[Hidden]

You have a lot of support here to lean on if you need to during the changes! Good luck x

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Hope thank you 🙏 😊 that means a lot to me. It helps that I know you are here for me. I’m here for you too. It’s really hard right now and in my experience it always gets easier. I just have to use all of my will power and strength. Life wow 😅 it’s a chaaaaaalllleeeeenge!

[Hidden]

Remember big changes sometimes need to be revised, we all have problems when we need to change direction. to move on down the roadway to good health

We are here to help and give support, be brave and circumspect in your journey

BOB

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

True sometimes they do need revision and I will keep that in mind. Thank you 🙏 😊

[fauxartist]

I think change is unsettling for most people....it's a pretty normal feeling. It does take courage to embrace change, and if we didn't, sometimes we would miss out on those great little happy surprises in life.....

[Starrlight in reply to fauxartist]

True thanks for that way of looking at it. I’m going to accept that it’s normal to feel how I am and it will probably all be ok; that’s what bugs me is the way I have wired my brain at some point is thinking things will get really screwed up in a scary way It’s been pretty screwed before and we are resilient right !? and I’m already scared so I need to try something new like looking at things with a lot more positivity let go and be... but loosing that fear how do I do it, you know? I know I can retrain my brain so I’ll do that patiently. What else can help? I am feeling terrible like I am sick emotionally / mentally/physically just cannot chill maybe I’ll call on spiritual part of me for guidance today.

[fauxartist in reply to Starrlight]

I was once told that if it hasn't happened yet, why are your worrying about it....and to live in the moment and not see life as the glass half full. I'm not the world’s greatest optimist, but that was good food for thought. Yes crappy stuff can happen, but really good stuff happens too....there are no guarantees in life ....just learning to take it as it comes.....when you have a problem....then you look for the solution. Don't get stuck on 'What if's'.....

[Starrlight in reply to fauxartist]

Im trying to let go of an embarrassing incident that I took as me being a dumbass but maybe I just misunderstood and fine I’ll get passed it and be in the now the only place where the beauty and calm happens. I think to help I ask “will I remember this in 2 years” haha hope not! Letting go...being ok in now. Faux, what if’s are what I do well. What if my son is struggling today at school; well so he learns from it then ya know on the positive and I have no control over so much I have to trust that I parent well enough that they’ll be ok. God I need my babies to be ok. My brother didn’t make it and that traumatically affected my life and I hope some day to get back to the free spirit type of person I once was. I wonder... why not?

Take it as it comes. That’s good. There is so much going on here with the house with my brain with my family, but maybe that’s life god now... maybe I’ll feel ease soon because I do recall that after every difficulty comes ease.

[fauxartist in reply to Starrlight]

I understand, and do you think there is some un-resolved issues around losing your brother that may be effecting your 'What If's' now......that maybe if you do some work on that and see if that is why your unable to let things be, and know that you can't control anything, and if you do your best with your kids, that's enough..And it's really all you can do, and know that your there to catch them when they do fall, but you can't change or control anything that is naturally going to occur. Just be there for them for support and guidance. I know that unresolved loss and grief can affect us, it's very normal....when we can't let go, and we stay stuck....we just don't move forward and repeat the same tapes over and over. For years I had the tape of I'm not good enough and no matter what I do or how hard I try, it will never be enough.

I finally stopped listening to them.

[Starrlight in reply to fauxartist]

Good. Good that is awesome. Me too. I’m stopping listening to those types of negativity too. I’m surprised how much even one day of practice has made.

So about my brother well he died in our family home and it was traumatic the way that it was I won’t say as to not trigger but I moved back into that house and I’m living there with the spot you know? It’s terrible but because of my mom’s health care needs that I help with and for financial reasons we stay. I pray and will try to see what I can do about moving out in the future but in the meantime I am trying to figure out how to cope with that stress trigger.

[fauxartist in reply to Starrlight]

Wow that is a lot on your plate, and am terribly sorry for your loss....and I can truly appreciate your difficulty which is pretty much unavoidable. To survive all this every day takes a lot of courage and inner strength you probably don't even realize you have sometimes. Sometimes it's just moment to moment for us.

[Starrlight in reply to fauxartist]

Yes thank you moment to momrnt is exactly how it feels. Yes and I’m taking care of my mom a lot now like today and she has Alzheimer’s it’s hard to watch and I see a memory/concentration related mental decline in myself especially lately under stress... maybe it will get better...but this is the scariest of anything to me but maybe I don’t know I hope I’ll be ok.

[fauxartist in reply to Starrlight]

My heart goes out to you.....

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

You know why you are so anxious but the reminder every day must be so painful. I had a similar experience with the feeling that there was a presence in our home so local vicar who had experience of expiation of spirits exorcised and blessed the home. That's not a logical or rational step but it did help. We eventually moved but the realization there was light somewhere helped me and my family move on. Please ask for help even if you are not a church goer.

Thinking of you trying to break from a spell of the past. Sure you will find help and support from your star followers on the website. No need to reply.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

That’s a good reminder, we actually did have the house blessed by a Catholic Priest friend of ours. So that’s a positive.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

That is reassuring. If you are trying to cut down on meds may be you should ask your doctor or find out how to reduce your meds by cutting the tablets in half and slowly letting your system adapt to drug withdrawal. Speaking to a pharmacist may help to find out about each med you are taking and how to cut down so you dont feel ill. I cut out meds gradually with advice and have not needed them except occasionally. Look after yourself as you are the most important member of your family.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Yes I am weaning off very slowly and the process will take 6 weeks. Thanks I am important , good to remember that.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Really think you will feel so much better . Thanks for inspirational posts. They tap into people's feelings. Your daily diary on how you feel each day after tailing down the drugs would be so helpful for other people.

No need to reply.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Awww 🥰 thanks! That’s very encouraging. It’s first thing 5:00 in the morning I feel my heart is in my throat... anxious for the day...overwhelmed with thoughts...feel sick to my stomach... wish I could get more sleep...things will work out though. Going to be ploughing through.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

I find it I take medication on an empty stomach it can irritate stomach so I take meds drinking milk. I use lactase free as have dairy intolerance. Milk contains opioids so it can help as a night cap to prevent night starvation. I have a dimly lit bedroom as too much light can stop sleep hormones. I cut out computers and media an hour before bed. Have a sleep disorder so just take a pill to help. Hope you settle down and sleep like a top as sleep is the key to mental health. Know how you feel trying to cope with so much.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for sharing with me, some good ideas. I have some glasses my son gave me to block out blue light. I don’t use them ha! It helps to hear someone who knows how it can feel when sleep/ mental health are issues.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Grey glasses are recommended to use in the evening for reading or relaxing. Your son sounds really sympathetic. Thats great. Am on day 5 taking coconut oil from supermarket everyday as it improves brain function. Forgot to put it on my shopping list so will have to buy some more. It can help Alzheimers as it helps a pathway in the brain to make healthy new cells. It can also help lose weight as it burns off sugar in the liver differently. Loads of videos on coconut oil and even some on on dementia and coconut oil. 4 doctors on coconut oil and dementia is interesting .

stopcancer.org/coconut oil

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Great stuff yes coconut oil is what I use as well. Really do you know why grey glasses help; does it block out rays and make it easier to relax?

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Guess it does reduce glare from lighting and can help with computer. I have blue glasses for reading and grey tint forcomputer . I have cataracts which do affect light but am holding off from having them done as I am managing with glasses and would still have to wear glasses with new prescription . Like you I cannot cope with the anxiety of having this done when it is usually done in your eighties. I read information on a US website about wearing yellow glasses and dark shades at night so what is the difference between sunglasses reactolite and grey lenses. This old horse is not giving up yet!

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Love it 🥰 never give up!

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Yes..agree..we are worth looking after x

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Truth!

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you for your support as you are the first person who understands intuition and a sixth sense which is denied by scientists as mumbo jumbo. Gut instinct is a primitive response from ancient times but guess it has saved many lives. Having food intolerances now examine ingredients in foods and find some health companies are selling grains and adding nuts and seeds dairy when people have multi food intolerances which can make you ill. I even filter water and people would say I am OCD but I am retraining my brain for self preservation. This might seem selfish but actually when you are at the top of the family tree you are needed even more.

[Sunnidayz1]

Go for it girl! You are amazing and deserve the world! Proud of you!

❤❤❤

XoSunni

[Starrlight in reply to Sunnidayz1]

Awww thank you sooooooo! It is day 1 hopefully gets a lot easier... ❤️

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to Starrlight]

You're welcome sweetie! Keep us updated. Go get em!! 😊😊

[Starrlight in reply to Sunnidayz1]

I will I can really use the support Sunnidayz ! How are YOU doing?

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to Starrlight]

You got it here with all of us no doubt!

Im good. One day at a time.

Thank you💜🌻

[Starrlight in reply to Sunnidayz1]

Yeah that’s a good phrase one day at a time. I shared a phrase with a friend which is - after every difficulty comes ease. My friend says one step at a time, a bit like yours. Anyway those to recall can be so stress relieving.

[Starrlight in reply to Starrlight]

So I’m really really struggling right now. It’s the end of day one off the crap and I just feel so sick I worked so hard today and I deserve to feel ok no amazing. I’m trying 💯 % ya know. I have to keep doing what I’m doing and maybe I might be happier and healthier all the way around. To anyone who is or had gone off meds and stuff used to try to hide the symptoms of anxiety depression bipolar or other conditions I say gooooood job cause it’s quite a trip. I’m soooooo exhausted from trying to retrain my brain and not being able to stop working because of the underlying anxiety problem that I fight. I read an artivle about common things people think as habits and it was very eye opening I mean I beat myself up in my head and I let what I think others think affect me, stuff like this, baaaad habits. Can anyone relate. Please be with me. I need support so badly.

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to Starrlight]

Star!!! Give yoursrlf some time. It's easy to say, I know. Ive been thru hard times but I still have bad days. Forward is always forward no matter what. No matter how long it takes. It's supposed to be uncomfortable bc it's out of your comfort zone and that is ok. You dont have to be strong. You dont have to analyze. Just be and that is good enough. Just be. And if you've learned something from the experience all the better. We are all with you girl!

[Starrlight in reply to Sunnidayz1]

Just be. I will try hahaha it’s so back and forth... I remember one of my therapists told me I may not feel like I’m functioning but I very much am. I’m worried about my memory /concentration now and other things but trying to be a little more and more in the present moment. I appriciate your support

[Hidden]

You've got this sister...only thing left for you to do is believe..I'm only a call away..you know that. Hang in there...keep your power...you'll always have a special place in my heart...

Dump trucks of groovy love, peace, light, joy and hugs for you beautiful!

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

((((((( ❤️))))))))) I know Yeah I’ve got this; keeping strong and I truly feel less stress from the changes today so far than yesterday so it’s a very real improvement and I may step back at some point and it can be ok as long as I will always be on the move forward in general. I’m retraining my brain and it really does work.