Changes need to happen, but they are scary

[CantThinkOfAName]

I am not particulary happy with my life, with how things are going, but I am also always so, so, pathetically scared of changes. I mean permanent change. I mean of being ripped out of the comfort zone I build myself, you know what I mean?

New experiences can be great, sometimes, but also let my heart beat way too fast and makes breathing harder and it makes me clumsy and forgetful. And sometimes, they just make me do nothing at all, consequences be damned.

Do you know what I mean? Like, you know you have to do something, but you just can't. You can't force yourself, no matter what. I always hear, everyone has that, you just need to...I don't know how to put it right in english. 'Über deinen eigenen Schatten springen' would be the german saying...I guess, you have 'to take a leap of faith'?

I loved this advise in the movie 'We bought a zoo' that you just have to have 20 seconds of courage sometimes, to start things. I think about that sometimes and it helps. But not always.

[Beevee]

You only way to overcome anxiety is to go to those places or situations and feel the discomfort. And keep doing it until the anxious feelings pass. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

[CantThinkOfAName in reply to Beevee]

I try that very often, because I know you are right. It helps, that I hate it when people think I am weak and a coward. I know, that it's stupid, because it shouldn't matter that much what people think of me, but since it helps me, I try not to question it Sometimes, the feelings don't pass though, they keep me from sleeping, even when the change already turned out to be good. my head won't shut up.

I know you are right though, because not trying is not an option, sometimes. like in this case.

[Rick1on1]

Having the courage to face your fears and confront changes head-on is a difficult hurdle to overcome but not impossible. Thinking of the outcome and what value it will add to your life may help to you take that first step.

[CantThinkOfAName in reply to Rick1on1]

Yes, keeping the goal in sight is very important, you are right. I try to focus on the goal, on taking one little step after another and, that a lot of things are not irreversable. That I shouldn't think too hard about the change being bad, possibly, because if it is, then there are usually other options.

[Hidden]

I totally agree with you. Most ppl think that change is the hardest thing...but it's necessary if you want to change your life. I realised no one is going to come knocking at my door for me. So I realised I have to make that change..even if it's just joining a group for once a week to start with..then as you get more comfortable perhaps another group or a pub quiz or whatever it is that makes you happy. It has to be done as we just get older and stagnate. Good luck x

[Ollyvie]

Hello dear, I can understand the feeling and the inward struggle that comes with it. I understand the uncertainty that comes with change. Not to think of the ‘what If’. Your reaction is to a legitimate as you think of the probable when you make a change but the problem with “what if” thinking is that it shifts our focus. It pulls us into the future and away from the present. Most of the time we don’t even have control over the changes that comes into our life, but we have to learn to take a leap of faith. If Change is necessary, then we have to do all it takes to make that change. When change knocks at our door accept the situation and step outside your comfort zone. If it fears of failure, then let it motivate you to do more for yourself. Failure is another teaches us lessons about are strength and what we can do better to improve upon yourself. Embrace change as an opportunity to try something new. Best wishes dear.