Does anyone else think they are dead?

[Prudence22]

I have dealt with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember and no matter what I do, I can't get out of it. When I was younger I would try to pull out of it and then the slightest thing would put me back into that feeling of hopelessness and as I grew I started to develop skills and learn to handle small things better and then the things got to be bigger and bigger which always managed to be enough for me to be totally overwhelmed and I would keep working towards bettering myself and did all the things people claim make you happy, focused on the research about how to actually change the way your brain processes information to allow you to ba happier and reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression.... I did everything "right" and the bad things that happen to me just keep getting bigger and bigger and they are coming in massive waves that just outright break me and I am entirely convinced at this point that I am dead and this is hell because there is no other explanation for me to have multiple "the worst thing that ever happened to me" experiences back to back. What I mean by that is that other people say this thing is the worst thing that happened in their entire life, and I have multiple of those all at once and then when I scrape myself up somehow against all odds and try to have a functional life again, it comes back worse than ever, more overwhelmingly horrible things that people have killed themselves over because they are so bad... And I am certain I am dead and this is hell and I am only allowed to be happy for long enough to feel like there is hope to break me effectively one more time.

[Starrlight]

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[TangledUpIn]

I can relate to what you are saying. I, too have had back-to-back worst thing experiences that ever happened to me.

[Starrlight in reply to TangledUpIn]

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[TangledUpIn in reply to Starrlight]

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[Pitalife]

Wow,sounds like I wrote this, your not alone here,I been too having triggers I call them,I feel Lil better then bam setback of panic attacks and overwhelming anxiety attacks it's a horrible way to so called live,been trying to cope my whole life as well,it destroyed my schooling,a potential baseball career, it's terrible,mine seems genetic my brother took his own life,he couldn't take it anymore..now I caregiver my mom's who's very very difficult and riddled w severe anxiety and depression..it's very hard..stay inntouch sharing is caring and helps me release my overwhelming feelings sometimes and it helps others in the same boat..hugs too you...

[Hidden]

It sounds like you had a number of very bad experiences in your life and they are causing you to feel very depressed, helpless and hopeless. The best suggestions I can make at this point are to see a therapist if that is possible, talk to your doctor about medication, learn relaxation techniques such as meditation and mindfulness, and study cognitive behavioral therapy as a way of teaching yourself how to deal more affectively with the situation. It is not events or other people that make us feel good or bad, it is how we think about them that determines our feelings.

When I was a therapist, I would sometimes see people who were very angry or depressed by an event that had occurred earlier in their life. They were often resistant to treatment. They would say that you can't change the past, so things are hopeless. I would respond that, of course, you cannot change the past, but you can change the way you think about the past.