I have just had a wonderful healing phone call from my daughter😀. Big thanks to Sam and Starrlight for listening and providing brilliant support🤗.
So sorry to hear you are worrying about your holiday Sam. The ones I have worried about most are often the best in the end. Try to decide to forget it completely until nearer the time, easier said than done😒🤔.
It is funny how holidays can prove to be our biggest challenges, Starrlight you were so brave in taking your boys to the beach when one had nearly drowned in the past. It shows you just what we can all achieve.
Stay well, you are both amazing 🥰😎😃.
My best wishes to everyone.
Kim
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Kkimm
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Kim,
Wow beautiful places in the photos ! 💕
Lovely to hear about the healing phone call from your daughter ❤️
Kim, I'm glad you had a good call with your daughter and the photos are gorgeous. I wish I had the energy to take a four hour trip. I've planned it twice and canceled twice..
I am so sorry you are finding it such a struggle to do your 4 hour trip.
I had the same feelings before I did my first weekend away on a city break not long after I became ill with GAD.
It was only a drive of around two hours and my husband was doing the driving anyway. We then had a hotel for one night with a meal booked that evening. The sort of things that were making me really nervous were the journey, as being in a car was making me feel dizzy and sick at that time. I was then worried about how easy it would be to find the hotel and how I would cope in the hotel and then if I would be able to eat the meal and if I could cope with walking around the town sight seeing etc. Everything basically. All things that had been the things I loved doing best became a trial and the things I was the most nervous about.
I was incredibly nervous heart pounding feeling sick, but was not actually sick, etc and felt I was not coping at all until we arrived at the hotel and were safely in the room. I then had a really long hot bath, which always helped me and then we just relaxed and read in the room until an or so before the meal. Very unusual for me to do this in the past as I would have been raring to explore the city before I was ill. I am back to that and more now by the way.
When we set off for our walk to the meal I felt incredibly ill, sick, anxious and thought that my blood pressure must be going through the roof which made me feel even more scared. I walked around looking at sights for my husband's sake but I just wanted to sit down and have a glass of wine as I knew that would make me feel better. When we got to the restaurant I really did not feel I could eat anything but once I had had a glass of wine and the starter arrived I knew I was fine. I loved the food and the wine and felt on top of the world. This feeling went on the next day as well and we had a marvelous day sight seeing. It felt almost magical. I was getting a bit of a high from my antidepressants which helped. By the time we returned home in the afternoon I was still very well but gradually returned to my anxious state for another few months until I began to fully recover after around 4 months. Ups and downs the for around another year. I now am just left with a bit of breathlessness and feeling a little out of sorts in the mornings sometimes. Trips, travel, socialising, work when I have to do it, just a couple of days a month now I am retired, are all great.
If you do not mind me asking, what are the things about the trip you are most nervous about? If you think about each one and then say what is the worst that is likely to happen and then decide how you will cope if it does can be quite helpful.
In my case "What if I am sick?" The worst that will happen is we need to stop, I will be sick but I will not die from it. A therapist in an approach similar to the Claire Weekes approach says answer each "what if ?" question that keeps going through your mind with a "So what" reply.
If a four hour trip is too much for you at present, is there a way you could build up to it gradually? Perhaps you could try a shorter trip first, nearer to home etc. Also think about what you can do to support yourself. For me I knew that I needed a hotel with a bath so I could soak and relax after I arrived. I also wild swim and did so all throughout my illness. I was never nervous about this and could get in a cold rainy sea with the 🌊 crashing strangely enough. Very hot and very cold water for me removed symptoms completely for a while.
You will see I mention alcohol. I would never recommend this for others unless they check with their doctor etc but for me it has been very important in my recovery also. I always stick to the safe recommended limit of 14 units a week and never more than 5 units in a day but within those limits it helps me hugely. When first ill I could not eat at all and lost 2 stones in two months. I talked to my doctor and he said it was fine to have wine to the level I had been drinking before I was ill and so I started to have just a glass with my evening meal and it made all the difference. I started to enjoy food again. Gradually breakfast and lunch, where I did not have wine ofcourse, also became possible but my appetite was still very small. I am back to where I have to limit myself and have a healthy diet and lots of excercise now to stay at a average weight😩. Excercise I find is also really important, a fast walk for an hour or two or short run 3 times a week makes a big difference and stimulates the bodies feel good chemicals. Sorry, I am probably preaching to the converted here.
Setting challenges for myself worked for me, I approached each thing as a challenge and was always pleased I did each challenge and did not worry about how it made me feel when I did it. Or at least tried not to. The achievement is you did the challenge and saw it through and allowed yourself to feel whatever you felt and did not worry because it made you feel bad while doing it. You will progress and recover just by doing each challenge. At first you will feel terrible but you can still celebrate the fact that you did it.
I designed a programme I followed which captured this and I am happy to tell you more detail about it if you want to message me about it. It worked for me, along with taking antidepressants. Two years down the line I feel great and take more opportunities in life than I even did before I became ill.
I loved this area of Italy in the photos on my post, it is the Cinque Terre region. I went with my daughter and I am now planning to start going to this and other areas alone in the future.
Where abouts are you? I am in the South of England and live near the sea which I love.
Thank you for sharing. You asked a number of things I want to reply to but will probably do so in a pm. I'm in the US. I had to check what the equivalent of 2 stones is in pounds. 😉 I was not familiar with that term. Over the last 1.75 yrs I have lost over 5 stones. I will write more later.
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