Working With Depression?

[Synthwaver]

Hello, i'm new here. I'd like to ask if anybody here feels the same as me. I had anxiety in the past and i'm going through a depressive time in the last few years. I have worked on many areas, tried many different jobs and didn't like anything. I thought i just didn't like working in general, but i also hate to be all day at home. I lose interest in things too fast, it seems like nothing is interesting or exciting enough. I am 35 and still trying to find a career that i enjoy. I'm starting to think that maybe there is none, and the problem is not the work or career, but its me? Thanks!

[CatIsMyCopilot]

I worry about this too, heh. I've had anxiety attacks caused by it too.

I haven't tried switching careers much (out of fear), but I have switched jobs within my career a lot. Finally this year I started to feel I just don't know what I want in my career. (And maybe I just don't know what I want in life at all? And maybe that means I'm doomed to never be happy?) I think the onset of my issues with anxiety really fueled this though: it made me slowly deplete my confidence in my self, until I reached such thoughts as these. I'm trying to build that back up now, and my worries aren't as extreme or far reaching as they were (i.e. the "Maybe I just don't know who I am at all, or what I want in life?" type of stuff).

So for me, I think a lot of the indecisiveness or lack of confidence is triggered by a anxiety.

However it may not be the same for you. It may be that you just haven't found yet what is right for you. I've met many people who say they tried many careers before they found the right one, and that's totally OK. But I know from experience that dealing with that is hard, when you deal with anxiety too.

I guess I'm trying to say: try not to let the anxiety convince you the problem is more far reaching or complicated than it is (e.g. your concern over not liking work in general). Work on coping with the anxiety, and you may find the problem not as bad as it seemed.

[Synthwaver in reply to CatIsMyCopilot]

Thank you! I'll work on fixing my depression and anxiety first, then i worry about finding something i like. Sometimes i feel just like you about not knowing why i exist, and what i should do, i only know that i want to travel a lot.

[lillyofthevalley37]

Or it could be the way of life we have to live ?

We aren't really free to do what we want and maybe if you realised that you would feel better in some way

[Sabio77]

@synthaver, nice to meet you on this site. I am actually a survivor of 3 deep depressions and lots of anxiety, some even panic attacks. Have you shared this information with another family member, friend or trained professional? I found that being honest with myself of how I was feeling, and took notes be doing a journal; date and time of when the depression/anxiety happened then, where was I at, location, people and what was I doing, the finally, what I did to stop it or did it stop itself or keep going and for how long. taking a deep breath and drinking water is very helpful. stepping outside for a bit of fresh air also helped me. There are also foods that help us. depression foods are less soda, alcohol, and sugary drinks, less caffeine, eat carrots, apples, spinach and beets. anxiety, carrots celery and pomegranate. stress, bananas, strawberries and pears. Hope this helps you too. Keep us posted how things are going for you.

[Synthwaver]

Thank you Sabio77! I have shared that with many people including family, friends and psychologists and the only thing they can do is tell me to find some type of work i enjoy. My doctor wants to feed me more and more new meds, i'm on efexor for like 15 years already.

As for the habits i gave up on many addictive things that helped me to distract from the depression, like smoking heavily, compulsive coca-cola drinks everyday, eating sweets and candies all the time, fast food, pizzas. I'm drinking water now everytime i need a break, and trying to eat fruits, salads, cut salt and sugar. The only thing i can't quit is beer and wine, but i have quit vodka and other distilled drinks.

If i have enough motivation i'll start going to the gym this week, i think it will give me more energy and i need a substitute to all the addictions of the past, there is a sense of emptiness that needs fulfilling. If i can get 'addicted' to excercising and sports instead of unhealthy things it will probably help in other parts of life!

[CatIsMyCopilot in reply to Synthwaver]

I think exercise sounds like a good idea! For me, I started taking piano lessons (my husband owns an electric piano and used to play), and I am really enjoying it. It's nice to learn a new skill. Reminds me that I still have space in my brain for other things.

[Synthwaver in reply to CatIsMyCopilot]

It's nice that you reminded me! I have a keyboard, i just lost a bit of interest in it lately but now i feel like creating some new music! Thanks

[Hidden]

I think this is probably pretty common. I hated my last few jobs after a short while at each. But would get stuck in jobs for a few years as need to pay bills and I’m crap at interviews. I pushed myself to move areas and get a new job. Hated it within weeks. But got stuck here. 2 years & 3 months later I have moved sideways to an easier job (suggested after some sick leave); in the hope I can get on top of my mental health and then look for a better job. If I could afford to work part time I think I would be happier. Feel like I’ve given so much to stressful crap jobs. Stuck in the same pay grade for the past ten years. Going nowhere. Feels pointless. I used to be a strong independent women who enjoyed working (like 2010). These days I’d rather be home with my cats and dog away from people and their stress 🐾

[Synthwaver in reply to Hidden]

Exactly! I don't have enough patience or energy for it. Everything repeating again and again, so much effort given, and getting nothing back. Feels like i'm wasting my life. Running a marathon everyday. There were times in the past i would rather die than work. I'm currently trying to make some work at home and put it to sell on the internet. I think the best option would be to have something that generates money on itself. I work on it only once, and then it generates passive income forever. Then i could be free to find something i like.

[NeuronerdDoaty]

Maybe you’ll be like me. I found what I truly loved later in life and now I’m even changing from that. Sometimes it’s hard because some careers are things people don’t even know exist. My daughter is 30 and was told by her husband no more school; now job! Lol! My younger is 28 and she’s going from veterinarian to anesthesiologist for people. Something will come your way. All you have to do is keep a roof over your head. Until then just learn what anyone wants to teach you. It’s an adventure.

[Synthwaver in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

Thank you! I'm glad you and your daughters found what you like! It's great to know it's something possible!

[Makayla11]

Finding joy in the journey can be difficult but I try and meditate on the little things that go right. Even though you don’t like your job, I think it’s great that you have the initiative to try out new things. I think as humans, we always want to get to the end goal, but we should slow down and enjoy the journey. I too haven’t found a career that I want to do for the rest of my life, but many small victories have come from it, like meeting new people and expanding my knowledge on different areas. You’re blessed to have the ability to work 😊

[Synthwaver in reply to Makayla11]

Yes, you are right, i made many friends working, and learned a lot of skills from them. That's a good way to see things, seeing each job as a step and how you advance through life. It helped me, thanks!