Too much

[Ripple17]

Hi, I'm new here and I guess I'm looking for help before I give up completely. I've had depression for many years and I've never in all those years had one suicidal thought. Until recently. So much in my life is messed up right now and no matter how hard i try i can't seem to pull myself back. It feels as though every time something good happens, ten bad things happen to counter it. My finances and bills are crushing me, my health is a losing battle. I have a very rare progressively fatal lung disease and just found out I might have cancer too. I'm currently filing bankruptcy because of medical bills. I'm in debt up to my ears. Sometimes I just think if I'm not here, it's over, no more stress no more tears no more drama just done. And then I look at my kids and I realize they are the only things that have been holding me here. And that's a scary thought. I need help, I need real help.

[CatIsMyCopilot]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with all these incredibly difficult things. I don't have kids, but I am glad yours help pull you back into the world, though I understand why you say it's a scary thing as well.

I'm not so good with the inspirational advice, but please seek help if you're having suicidal thoughts. I sympathize with what you're saying, but you are clearly a person the world needs in it.

Have you ever tried calling a hotline when you feel this way? I have used one once, and talked to a very nice woman. I felt a bit better and more grounded afterwards, though of course it didn't solve everything.

[Hidden]

Don’t give up. Life is worth more than bankruptcy. Bankruptcy won’t define you. It’s what you do in these tough times that will be your legacy to your children. You can weather this storm.

[Hidden]

I hope you get the professional help you need so badly. I am not a professional in any way but in reading your post it really seems you need their help. Wishing you the best.

[Lonelygirl56]

Please reach out for professional help. I understand! My brother died of ALS my dad got a brain tumor/ just as I was trying to recover... my beautiful daughter died suddenly 💔💔💔💔

Gobsmacked! I am alone and sad why I’m here,

[Hidden]

I’m so glad you shared and came here. I’m sorry you’re going through this you have been so strong. I know when more is asked if you it seems it can’t be real. The only thing that matters is each step you try and only worry about steps forward. Things will fall where they may and all in all I’m glad you have family to receive & give love too. Life is not always fair. I know. Some of us have to be rich in our love and hearts. Big hug.