My life currently

[Mylife8]

Hi guys it’s my first post and I don’t really know what I’m doing but here we go. I guess I’m writing this because I’m in a bad place right now and I don’t really like talking to people about my problems. I’m not really sure what to do. I haven’t been to the doctors but I’ve been depressed for a couple years now and things don’t seem to be getting easier. I feel like giving up because I don’t see an end in sight and it’s getting really hard. I’m entering my senior year and I am trying to make the best of my time but I rather be at home sleeping or alone in my bed than go out.

[EleanorRose]

Hi Mylife8,

I can, as I am sure many others will, empathise with those feelings of just wanting to stay home.

You’ve done the right thing in reaching out and finding this forum. It is hard to talk about our feelings/problems, especially to begin with, but opening up truly does become easier with time. I kept my mental health struggles completely secret for about 8 years before gradually opening up to people and no one was more surprised than me to find that it helped. Finding a couple of trusted people could make a huge difference. I’m not saying it’ll make the depression suddenly disappear but could make a huge difference in helping you cope with it. Finding a friend who knows you may only stay out for an hour or two, or that you don’t want to go far/do anything too much, who understands why and is supportive of that, could make it easier for you to do things.

Keep trying to push yourself to do things, even when you don’t want to. It’s ok to recognise that sometimes we just need a break and need a day to recuperate at home but try not to make it a habit, the more we succumb to those feelings, the easier it is to fall into a bit of a trap. It’s not easy but it will get better.

Is there a reason you haven’t seen a doctor? They may be able to help.

[Motherless_Daughter]

I am new here as well. This is actually the first thing I read and wrote. I struggle with anxiety and depression and recently had my disability extended another year. Last year, I was taken out of school and work due to my illnesses. It was very hard for me because I spent most of my life putting so much on my plate that I literally had no time to think or feel.

I am hitting rock bottom for the second time, literally almost exactly one year since the first time. I began cutting again Sunday and almost turned to alcohol again. I am at the point where I don’t know if I can come back from this again, but I have a little one that needs me and somehow I managed to turn my mind around quicker this time and am trying to have a fighting mindset.

I do not have much of a support system or friends in general, but I am hoping this will help me and I am more than happy to be there for you as much as I can. Feel free to message me anytime. Maybe we can help each other stay afloat.

[Hidden in reply to Motherless_Daughter]

Hi Motherless_Daughter. I’m so so sorry you’re in this struggle. Please know that you are not alone, you’re in the right place. All of us here are struggling with something and sometimes feel no one cares and we’re in it alone BUT we/you ARE NOT alone. We have each other. This is a family that cares. And you can come back from this! This does not define who you are. You are strong and resilient and if you’ve come back before I have faith that you will be able to find your way out again. Just don’t stop trying. Your little one needs you to keep trying. I hope that you seek help for the self harm/cutting. There are other ways to release your pain and sadness. Please seek help through a counselor locally if needed. We are here for you so reach out often. ❤️

[Motherless_Daughter in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your support and belief in me. It means more than you know to read this and I have read it multiple times now. It is hard to separate the rational from the irrational thoughts inside my head sometimes, but I did reach out to new individuals and disclosed my struggle and it is already proving to be so helpful. The counseling and medication I have been getting is not working, but I made a new plan for my struggle yesterday with one of my professor and I am hopeful again. I feel that I am in the right place and am glad I dug in more and found this support system.

[Hidden in reply to Motherless_Daughter]

I’m so glad you found a few people that you can share your struggle with. It helps to have a physical person sometimes. Don’t feel pressured to tell your whole story but just tell what you can when you can. You’ll begin to feel even better the more you talk and find that people are there to support you. I’m always available so feel free to message if needed. ❤️

[Hidden]

Hi Mylife8. So glad you found this group. And don’t worry we get it. We understand what it’s like to have this struggle, so you’re not alone. When depression hits it is very hard to see an end in sight but I do believe in the light at the end of the tunnel. I just want you to keep pushing. I struggle with being in groups often and going out. I actually just left the grocery store where I had a mild panic attack and I just had to breathe and push through and know that it would pass. Please don’t just stay by yourself and away from everything. Take baby steps. Go for a short walk in the sun to lift your spirits some. Maybe find a friend to go have lunch with or go grab a cup of coffee and read a book. Something small that gets you moving so you don’t get stuck in that feeling of sadness. You don’t have to share everything you’re feeling with friends but just let someone close to you know that you’re going through a tough time and just need a shoulder to lay on. Then you can slowly build with them. And trust me, we all know it’s waaaaayyyyyy easier said than done but I hope that you just try a little bit to get yourself going. And if all fails and you just can’t, come talk to us here. Someone is always listening and there to support you. You’re not alone in this.

[Motherless_Daughter in reply to Hidden]

I have the grocery store panic attacks too and it sucks. I know I need to get out even when I don’t feel like I have the energy to do so. It is tough when you don’t really have actual friends, but like you said, baby steps.

[Hidden in reply to Motherless_Daughter]

Baby steps mean everything. I don’t think I’ve ever walked that slow in a grocery in my life but I had to in that point completely calm myself and make it through. It took my energy for the rest of that day but I have my boys that lifted me up quite a bit with their laughter. We just have to take it one day at a time. You’ve got this. You have a whole army of friends here fighting for you!!

[Motherless_Daughter in reply to Hidden]

I have never thought of slowing down to calm myself in the store. I honestly move faster and get pretty irritable towards my son to get out of there quicker.

[Hidden in reply to Motherless_Daughter]

It happens to the best of us. New day. New beginnings.

[Cassie2178]

Hello Mylife8, You've come to the right place. Many of us have seasons of depression, so don't beat yourself up but do reach out for help on forums like this and other websites that can help you understand why you are feeling blue. Since you've been down a couple of years I'd suggest looking for a counselor and if you're unsure where to turn here's some possibilities - school counselor, community center counselor, or a faith based counselor. I know it's hard to put yourself out there and ask for help but many of us here had to take that next step in choosing to be well. Tonight on my way to dinner I saw an overweight guy riding a bike. You could tell he was embarrassed but I wanted to clap for him and say, "Way to go!" So, here's to you for looking for answers and feeling embarrassed for asking. If you keep asking the right door will open and you will find your way out of this depression. I hope the guy I saw on the bike tonight keeps peddling and doesn't allow his self doubt to prevent him from succeeding. Hugs.