Huge meltdown yesterday !! 😭

[foxglove_pnw]

Hi everyone !

I had a big meltdown at my support group yesterday. I had so much build up anxiety that I just cried like a baby .

On Tuesday , I was opening my car door and I ended up hitting my forehead ! My health anxiety came back 100% after that . I had a small bump and called my sister who is a doctor to see if I had to go to the Emergency Room . She told me I was ok and just put some ice on it .

The next day I woke up with a low grade headache and some neck discomfort! I stopped at the Urgent care and the doctor said I was fine and had a tension headache !

Thursday I was a mess and yesterday night I broke down in tears !

My anxiety is telling me I need a Ct scan because I could have some internal bleeding . I still have a tension headache ! Tylenol didn’t help but Advil did.

I feel like my health anxiety is bigger than my joy of living !!!!!! I feel like I have to be vigilant 24/7 because I never know when I am gonna have an emergency !

I am exhausted and disappointed with myself 😭

[Thegreenpath]

I'm sorry you've had such a rotten time. It's excellent you have support group to get it all out in the open even though it's emotionaly painful. A good cry can be healing.

Is your sister usually able to offer comfort to you medically and otherwise?

Be gentle with yourself.

[foxglove_pnw in reply to Thegreenpath]

Thank you !!!

Yes , she lives in another country but I can call her anytime during the day and night .

I attend a mental illness support group every week through NAMI , they have free meetings all over the USA ! It has been so good to be able to have a safe place to open up .

[Thegreenpath in reply to foxglove_pnw]

I am glad your daughter is within reach despite the distance. It makes a huge difference.

Incidentally, I have looked up NAMI. Good to know even though I live in Canada. My kids do live in the States.

[wolf-enthusiast]

do not feel disappointed in yourself! give yourself a pat on the back for being self-aware of your body's health. many of us on here struggle with this, so it is amazing and admirable that you love your body so much! As for the obsessive worrying, as little as it may do, tell yourself you checked with educated doctors, and they would know if you needed something more. You're going to be just fine! <3

[foxglove_pnw in reply to wolf-enthusiast]

Thank you ! ❤️

[Hidden]

Oy, what a series of misfortunate events and it's absolutely understandable to feel like you do. When or if you get a moment, try to relax and rehash the facts and the progress you've made. Allow yourself that deep breath that refreshes the mental slate. Take the medical advice from those who have assessed and give faith in it a few minutes, then an hour, and finally a day. Each time realizing you're still doing okay given the circumstances. I had a break down like this not long ago and I know it's hard to dig out of it, but you can and will when you're ready. There's no shame in this story at all. Learning, reflection, and things can only improve. Wishing the best and sending a huge virtual hug. These steps back can blind the progress....that we've taken so many more steps forward than backwards. As always, take care and know many of us are cheering you on!

[foxglove_pnw in reply to Hidden]

Thank you my friend ! I always appreciate your support ! ❤️

As you know with anxiety one little thing can became a nightmare in minutes !!!

[Srivet4]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like a difficult situation, but you're doing great! At least you went to the support group and you didn't hide anything. Trust me, people cry there all the time. It's normal. The only way to heal from this is to be open and honest with yourself, your peers, and your doctor's.

Also, are you in personal counseling? CBT therapy could really be beneficial to you. And is there a doctor that would be willing to look at you or do a cat-scan? Not because you need one but to make you feel more relaxed.

Just remember that you have been checked out and you are okay. The doctors know what they're doing.

[foxglove_pnw in reply to Srivet4]

Thank you !

My headache is gone and I had a small bump from the car door ( it is almost gone ) ! If I have any symptoms this week I will schedule an appointment .

I have been looking at CBT but the free CBT group in town is on Mondays and I cannot attend it until September . I could get a private CBT therapist .

I have done 4 years of talk in the past .

I attend a mental illness support group every week and I have a Christian mentor who I sit down with once a week and we talk about my anxiety ! She is amazing

[Srivet4 in reply to foxglove_pnw]

That CBT group sounds like a wonderful idea! September isn't too far away.

I think waiting to see about your symptoms is a good idea. And I'm glad it's getting better. You'll see, in no time you'll hardly notice it 😃

[mvillarreal]

You don't have to be disappointed in yourself. Anxiety is something that is partially biological, and you have only so much control over how your mind reacts to things. I hope things get better soon. Did anyone in the support group give you any reassurance that would be helpful to remember?

[foxglove_pnw in reply to mvillarreal]

Thanks for your support !

I have been with this my support group since January so I get tons of support there ! Sometimes it doesn’t matter what people / doctors say ... my mind still goes crazy !

I am actually feeling better !