Hardest day of my life

[2getbetter]

I’ve been going through a lot these past several months with dealing with my depression, my separation & divorce.

Today I had to hug & say goodbye to my best friend & wife. This was the hardest most painful thing I’ve ever had to do and I would not wish this pain into my worst enemy. For 2 people who love each other to have to say goodbye is so much worse the death of a loved one because this is almost like a death, the death of a marriage and to not be with her or have her in my life but know she is still out there hurts beyond belief. I feel numb and lost just going through the motions not know what to do or where to begin to pick up any of the pieces. Does anyone know how you begin to cope with that???

I sure do not and it is making my depression take back over and going to a dark place I don’t want to be again. Ironically I read a post on another support website and it hit home with me because I hadn’t realized how this was what I’ve had going on with me and it also caused problems in my marriage but at the time I didn’t realize I was doing them or why I was. It caused me to not ever be able to fully let her into my heart because that darkness kept me from doing it, protecting itself from discovery to then maybe now after it’s too late, get help for it. Please check this link out and maybe it will help make sense. Thank you to all on here that are so supportive.

themighty.com/2018/07/im-so...

[cbonne846]

I am very sorry about your loss. I hope you have a therapist that can help you through this. Thank you for being open and posting this. My prayers are with you.

[bonkers65]

I can relate to what you are going through. I've been there. I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I don't know what else to say except do the best you can and eventually in time it should get better.

[SirGrits]

There's a lot on your plate. The responses you're having to your crisis are easily explainable. Don't beat yourself up now, you've got enough to deal with. Self forgiveness is hard, but it can really help. It's something I've discovered in my life fairly recently and has really helped me get beyond some tough struggles.

Are you in or have you considered therapy? I don't think there's a downside, God speed.

[2getbetter in reply to SirGrits]

I’ve been in therapy and on meds for about a year now- this unfortunately is a lot to ask for a little pill to fix

[mitch404]

I’m guessing marriage counseling wasn’t an option for you??

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry for your loss and pain. I was a complete mess during my divorce as well, definitely one of the worst times of my life. I never thought I would move past it. Please surround yourself with family and friends that can support you and join a divorce care group.

[Dsdiva95]

You're strong. I know all of this is really tough for you. Stay close to your close friends who support you and I wish the best for you.

[Dsdiva95]

She is out there for you. You can talk to her and help her. Staying alone is indeed very difficult. Keep yourself busy in constructive activities and be in contact with your family members, close friends. Moving ahead takes timeLearn from this experience