Grieving process..

[Smileinthedowntime]

I’ve lost my dad 3 days ago. I previously wrote a post on here 5 weeks ago I was overthinking my dads illness an scared not eating sleepin worrying crying . I had a pain in my heart.then last wed we was told my dad had hours to days left.. I had saw him deteriorate over the months he was so poorly an it broke me. Waiting the 3 days till he went was hard but then he passed so peacefully my heart stopped aching. It was a little relief he wasn’t suffering anymore . Day 3 now without him an me an mum holdin up jus little cry’s here an ther. I no the funeral will kill us but we r doin ok an relieved he doesn’t need to live a life unwell anymore but missing get him so bad . Will I learn to live without him?? Cud I hav been grieving prior to his passing to feel I’m coping ok. And how to I get my mum through this to adjust life. I dnt want my mum to go down hill and want her b ok ?? I jus wanna know anyone else been through this xx

[Hidden]

Lost my dad last may and father in law, more like a dad five months ago. It's been an adjustment for us all. Fil was young and sudden and in our house. I have been there for mil who we live with and she's not well still, crying alot, depressed. My mom on the other is doing well, traveling, with friends alot. I seem to notice it depends on the personality of the person before to how they handle the loss of their love. My mom always strong and positive will be just fine although she misses him dearly, whereas mil who has always been negative and sad regardless is not well. You will make it too. I don't know how old you are. I'm 46 so I accept it maybe better than someone very young.

[Smileinthedowntime in reply to Hidden]

I’m 36 an my dad was 65 but battled with heart failure from 44 so I’m so proud of him an it was the last 3/4 months he really deteriorated so he wasn’t the man he wanted to b anymore suffering. My mums also 65 married 39 years to dad I’m heartbroken but except his passing an know il learn to cope but my mum i worry for he was her world but I live with her as was due to buy a house but now me an husband put that on hold An staying here with her for at least a year so she’s not alone she’s a strong woman I jus want her to keep goin I know my dad wud want us all to an be telling us dnt be bloody stupid he’s well again up ther an for us to carry on xx

[Hidden]

Lost my x father in law years ago it was a tough go for mother in law. We just visited a lot and so did everyone else let her go through it. What made her better was getting a dog oddly. She needed to take care of something and have purpose. The whole thing is hard I am really sorry for his passing. You didn’t lose him he lives in your hearts always I believe that. Big hug.

[Smileinthedowntime in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou xx

[Abestar]

I’m sorry to hear your sad news about your father’s passing. It’s so recent and emotions are bound to be raw and people process grief differently.

I wonder - and would not wish to presume - whether your loving concern over your mum’s devastation could mean that you may be unwittingly putting your own grief on hold.

My personal ‘learning’ is that you never get over the loss of someone you love but you do learn to live with and through the loss. I lost my mum in 2014 and it shook me to the core. I still ache with longing to see her again, yet to my surprise life goes on.

The hole is still there but you can build your life around it. The vast majority of people do. So will you, and, so will your mum.

What a lucky mum to have such a wonderful daughter who cares so much. Your dad would be so proud! Xx

[Smileinthedowntime in reply to Abestar]

Thankyou.. u made me fill up I hope my dad is proud we was a strong loving family and always will b that’s why it hurts so much xx

[terriltwin2]

I lost my step son 2 months ago. I miss him everyday. Look at his picture and wonder why so young and could we have done more. Grieving comes in so many different stages. I went to see my Doctor and he said, it's something that is going to be there and we just have to get through it. I think if we allow ourselves to grieve, be sad, cry, angry, wondering, that healing will come. However, we have to allow our selves to hurt for our loved ones. As far as your mum, just be present for her, listen to her and just be a support to her, that is the best thing you can do to overcome and of course you will miss your dad every day and you will have memories and smells and songs that hit you and make you sad or happy. That is what grief is, remembering and being happy or remembering and sadness hits. Its stages and a process that we have to go through. I am praying for you and your mum that God's grace and comfort is with you during this process and adjustment.

[Smileinthedowntime in reply to terriltwin2]

Thankyou for ur advice An prayers I thought I wudnt believe anymore for my dad being taken but I hav faith more than ever now it’s such a comfort . I’m sorry for your own loss I hope u find peace also xx