I’m new here, seeking support for my struggles with depression and anxiety.

[Stitching]

I've been struggling at first with social anxiety which started on my 6th Grade when one of the Teacher pointed at me angry in front of about 30 of his students though i didn't do anything wrong. And there my nightmare started, seems like all things i'm at were troubles. Then that follows self shame, doubt, insecurities, jealousy, anxiety and depression which I've been struggling for more almost 15 years now. Sometimes i wanna seek help from psychologist as my burden and the feelings get worsen but the fees are unacceptable, family and friends wouldn't understand either so i fight the battle alone.

[NadiaB]

Well you're not alone here. I believe there are some affordable therapy options out there if you do some digging. I'm jobless atm so lack the funds to get any services covered. Sucks.

[Stitching in reply to NadiaB]

Hi, thank you. Tried to search affordable therapist or free assessment near my area but not lucky yet.

[Esther228]

Hi there, I am so sorry that you have been in such a struggle for so many years. It is horrible to face these types of feelings and not know where to take them to get relief. I’ve found a lot of great self-help books that have provided me with insight into where these feelings come from and how to sort through them in order to gain understanding. One of the books is called “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. This book was helpful to me in understanding what feelings “I own” vs. “what someone else owns” and it really changed my way of thinking.

I also read my Bible and pray. Do you pray or spend any time reading the Bible? I have found that by refocusing my mind it provides me with true peace, joy, and understanding.

Have you ever tried to talk to your family or friends? Maybe they would understand more than you realize. You are not alone in how you feel. My thoughts and prayers are for you to be able to overcome these feelings.

[Urchin_girl in reply to Esther228]

Hi Ester and Nadia. et all .. I have struggled for many years been on many medications read many books been to many therapists... it’s a struggle..I have Dysthymia which is low grade chronic depression... I have a mask I put on for the world ... no one would really know.... it’s so tiring... i am actually an extroverted introvert.. so I actually overcame social anxiety which was extreme to now being able to do presentations.. yet I fight to get up in the morning... I just want the day to end....so I can get home....I have great insight.. lots of information and knowledge the action part is the challenge and the struggle

[Esther228 in reply to Urchin_girl]

Hi Urchin_girl,

I can't imagine what you are going through, especially with having such a difficult time just getting up in the morning. I could not get through my life without my relationship with Christ - for years, I started my mornings getting up early, reading some Scriptures, and then praying on my way to work. It has been true salvation, in more ways than one. There are so many helpful Scripture verses that make life so much easier for me. It isn't that all the issues in life have just disappeared, it just helps me to keep the right focus and provides me with peace of mind.

Another thing that helps me is to exercise. I like to walk, so that is a good time for me to clear my mind and release those endorphins that make me feel better.

I am sure thinking of you. Life can be so difficult and it helps me to have more information on how to overcome those difficulties and to have other people who are willing to offer their personal insights and support.

[Urchin_girl in reply to Esther228]

I am very spiritual.. I do pray all the time.. I tried many churches but for some reason felt left out...even alone in most...odd I know... going for a walk sounds easy and I know in my brain it will help... but can’t get dressed to do it.. alone..

[Stitching in reply to Urchin_girl]

Walking outside alone is my struggles as well. Though there is no one outside, I felt like behind the building windows there's eye watching me. I though I already overcome it but now i'm back with the same feelings again.

[Urchin_girl in reply to Stitching]

Yup .. I look at people walking with other people or people in coffee shops with people it makes me even sadder.. but I did it to myself.. I isolated myself.. I declined invites.. I can’t deal with frivolous chats .., ugh

[Stitching in reply to Urchin_girl]

We are on the same page dear. On friday it will be my cousin's daughter's birthday and they invited me, can't say no as we live in the same apartment. I was worrying about it, wondering what alibi I can tell to only not to go. I'm afraid I might left out, I don't know how to get along with others.

[Urchin_girl in reply to Stitching]

Yup I put on my smile and my mask when I have to go to an event... struggle through... then go home and think all sorts of self defeating crap...

[Stitching in reply to Urchin_girl]

Yeah and you'll still worry once you get home thinking if you were okay, you talked right back at the event.

[Urchin_girl in reply to Stitching]

Never ending cycle we do .. good luck at the event.. text after.. maybe talking here will be the first step

[Stitching in reply to Esther228]

@Esther228 Thank you so much for advice! I tried to open up with my family but they can't understand, I didn't feel the support or empathy rather hear usual word "it will be alright". I know it will but don't know how and when.

I always pray and my faith give me strenght to go on but sometimes these feelings is too much to handle, just cried 'til I fall asleep.

[Urchin_girl in reply to Stitching]

I feel you🤷‍♀️ My family is the same.. I know we need support.. someone to drag us into health help us to do the right things support us . but who???

[Stitching in reply to Urchin_girl]

That's what I asked as well, been watching TEDx, in youtube how to overcome it and searching in google and that lead me to this org.

[Urchin_girl in reply to Stitching]

It does help .. talking with people.. hearing their stories.. not being alone.. maybe I can do another day

[Esther228 in reply to Stitching]

I remember when my son was ill, I tried to offer him some support and his response was, "Mom, you don't know what you're talking about! You've never experienced what I am going through." He was RIGHT! I tried to give him support, but I couldn't relate because I hadn't gone through it. So, I understand about the dismissive statements that are made, it isn't because they don't want to help, they may just not be able to understand what you're going through. Right?

Have you thought about going to your healthcare provider to see if maybe there is a support group available?

I know what you mean about praying and still struggling...my Mom had breast cancer and I would lay in bed and pray and try to go to sleep, but my mind would not shut off. I was so sad and feeling such a deep loss. It's difficult, but keep on praying and reading the Bible. It will help you get through all the hard times.

I'm glad you are here, and I am praying with you that you start to feel better.

[Urchin_girl in reply to Esther228]

This is going to sound odd.. I have tried support groups but I find they are people that can’t cope with life ... I mean that they are homeless not working uneducated etc., yes by the grace of god I escaped that , I have worked very hard since I left home at 17 to get a career etc... I am on the outside very successful so it’s hard to relate....

[Stitching in reply to Esther228]

What you say about your son is right as I felt same. I tried not to talk with my family anymore about this as I don't want them to worry about me and i'm currently miles away. God knows am not strong, sometimes I ask why me all of the people, but I know God has a purpose and I just prayed not to loose hope. Thank your understanding and support.

[sittingforyou6]

Hi,

There is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which is free of cost and Emotional Freedom Technique, which is also free. Try it once and if you need I have some pdf books, which could help you, and also I am here to support you to learn and live your life with most improvement. Problems are always there, so the solution, we need to change our focus from problems to solutions. and you are just a one step away from it. Go ahead and find something that helps.