New anxiety/depression person here

[Kat63]

I hope this is an active group because I really need help. I’m 55 y.o., have had a depression diagnosis for a long time; but I think I’ve had GAD most of my life as well. Looking over my life, I can see patterns. At some point I want to have someone double-check my diagnosis. However, I’ve got immediate problems which are causing my anxiety to spike. I’ve been unemployed for a month; and I’m in a troubled relationship.

I just need some help, I need to meet other people like me, and I need to learn how to live with and cope with this anxiety.

[Hidden]

Hi and welcome. I am people like you.

[brokenlight]

Welcome!

Hope you find the help, support, & healing that you need/deserve.

[B4andafter]

Hi Kat. Being unemployed and in a troubled relationship are significant stress events on their own, but together no wonder your anxiety is worse. It's not clear from your post if you are currently under a medical regimen to deal with your GAD. If not, you might want to talk to your doctor to relieve some of the physical discomforts in the short term until either of these situations change (for the better). Personally, I suffer from GAD and take an anti-depressant that also addresses anxiety. At one point due to a specific stress event, my anxiety was so bad that I couldn't sleep/eat at all, so I had to take a benzodiazepine but I weaned off them primarily due to talk therapy (and the anti-depressant). I hope your circumstances change for the better.

[eaer]

Hi. I second what b4andafter said. Yet with the immediate circumstances of losing a job and a troubled relationship, your symptoms are going to be tough to conquer.

What I have learned the hard way is to just find ways to give yourself some love. There are many ways...warm baths, slow walks outside, watching movies- anything to feel relief from your present anxiety-producing situation. Getting a good night's sleep is also a crucial way of being gentle with yourself.

Then, I would go to a psychiatrist as soon as possible. The meds they give go a long way towards increasing your peace of mind, as well as a psychologist for talk therapy. If you can find a psychologist, their credentials and experience are most helpful in crises like yours.

Again, be gentle with yourself. You deserve and can give yourself love in little ways until things get better. All the best and I will think of you these weeks.

[MSGSTL]

Hi Kat63,

I was diagnosed with GAD, OCD, and social anxiety disorder back in 1998. Up to that point I worked crazy hours because it gave me a temporary reprieve from my anxiety issues. But when I got home at the end of the day my anxiety kicked into overdrive. Being undiagnosed I would self-medicate with alcohol and marijuana. This too was only a temporary fix that had adverse health consequences. The first thing the psychiatrist told me was that it wasn't my fault; it was an imbalance of neurotransmitters in my brain. I have taken several SSRI's in an effort to find the right combination. It took two years but I finally found the ones that work for me. Understand that depression and anxiety often go hand-in-hand. Along with my anxiety I also live with MDD.

Nothing is more important than you. Not employment. Not your troubled relationship. Just you. It might sound selfish but it is not. You can't hold down a steady job or maintain a healthy relationship until you take care of number one: Yourself. The sooner you get the help you need the sooner you will be able to take on the rigors of reality. My suggestion is to see a psychiatrist for an evaluation. Psychiatrists are very good at determining a full and complete diagnosis. You deserve nothing less. Take a time-out for the sake of your mental, physical, and spiritual health. It will pay for itself many-fold. I wish you the very best in your new journey. Peace.

-MSGSTL

[Kat63 in reply to MSGSTL]

Thank you for answering me. It does help to hear from other people with the same problem.

[stones67]

Greetings Kat,

So sorry that you're jobless & in a troubled relationship. This wouldn't be easy on anyone. I lost my job as well just before this past Xmas. I suffer with major depression, general anxiety & social anxiety. I'm 52 & been suffering for over 20 years. I'm currently on Lexapro 20mg & Klonopin 0.75mg. You must see your doctor & get help. This has to be dealt with by professionals. And may your circumstances change for the better. I know how much of a colossal effort it can be. Be kind to yourself. You are not alone.

Steve

[Lazy_dog_lover]

Yes, this is an active group. Welcome. 1) When you say troubled relationship, are you in danger or just not going as smoothly, lovey dovey as you imagined? 2) Do you have a support network of friends, family, or group therapy? 3) If you have not been to the doc in a while, it may be time. A lot of body functions change at our age. 4) What do you do for fun or exercise? 5) Believe that you have got this in your control and you are worth it.

[Kat63 in reply to Lazy_dog_lover]

The relationship is not dangerous at all. We’ve known each other 17 years, lived together for 10 years, broke up for awhile, but now are reconciling. In fact, we plan for me to move back in with him in the next 4 weeks.

I do have friends and family; some of them are more helpful than others.

I’ve been through a lot of situational stress in the last 4 or 5 years. I lost my job in January; and before that, I had been laid off three years ago. My mother died of cancer 16 months ago. I live alone, and I’m finding I don’t think I can cope with living alone any more. I need other people to motivate me and stimulate me to do things.

I do need to go to the doctor ASAP. For one thing, I’ll run out of Ativan sooner or later. And I think they need to consider a GAD diagnosis for me.

Since I’m unemployed, I feel guilty every time I have fun. I don’t like to exercise, but will do it if I have to. I do have two group activities - I have a knitting group and a creative writing group. They each meet once a week. When I was working full time, that was a sufficient level of social activities for me. While I’m unemployed and living alone, that’s not nearly enough.

[jkl5500]

I recommend exercise as a way of relieving anxiety. It's free, and there are no side effects. Start with whatever level you are comfortable with, however small. Exercise releases brain chemicals that reduce anxiety.

Here is an article from a website that you may find interesting:

psychcentral.com/lib/15-sma...

[Mellowme73 in reply to jkl5500]

Great read, thanks!

[ElephantGirl49]

This really is helpful. I am just realizing I have intense anxiety. Hearing everyone’s advice is helpful. I feel so isolated as well. 🙏🙏thank you❤️❤️