New fears/ trigger warning

[dbeck128]

So. I have some new fears.

1.) I'm going to run away and just stay wherever I end up. Because I've seen some bipolars say it happens to them, & the more I sit and meditate on it I feel like I want to do it and it causes anxiety.

2.) I have border line personality disorder because I'm scared I'm going to black out constantly and do awful things.

Oh please, help and give me reassurance.

[brettedwardcory]

Hi dbeck

I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with anxiety and the demons of bi polar. My prayers and heart goes out to you. I have been broken from mental health at multiple points in my life. I have been able to mediate my symptoms, depression, and anxiety. The more I focus on my anxiety and fears - the more real they become. Subsequently, the more positively and purpose focused you’re - the more real that will become. There are 3 habits I do to keep the intensity down.

1: regular sleep habits and minimum 7-9 hours of sleep every night. It’s quite fantastic how much this added to my stability the following day.

2: exercise and a good diet - green vegetables, high healthy fats (avocado, nuts) , grass fed beef, turkey, or chicken, very little carbs and no sugar. It decreased my anxiety by as much as 40-70%

3. Rebuke and kill the thought before it grows. You’re gods creation. Be kind to yourself like you would a parent. Love yourself. Shift your focus. Preferably to the present moment. This stopped mental breakdowns and saved me from the black hole 🕳 many times.

It’s okay to be anxious.

You’re young

have the whole world ahead of you.

Plenty of time to fail

cry

be broken

be fixed

be cured

be happy

be in love

be loved

Give love

Live

be sad

live dreams

live life

And be free.

You’re a divine creation. And God would never want you to love yourself like your anything less.

You’re going to defeat this.

[jkl5500]

Have you been diagnosed as bipolar and BPD? I'm not a doctor, but the fear of losing control of yourself and doing some terrible thing is a classic symptom of OCD. The book "Brain Lock" by Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz may help you quite a bit. He also has videos on YouTube that you can watch for free.