Darkness *Trigger warning*: I feel so... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Darkness *Trigger warning*

BrownEyesBlue profile image
17 Replies

I feel so broken. The dark thoughts are there tonight and I just feel like giving up. I feel I just push people away.... I don’t want to be this way. No one gets it. They say I talk too much or just ignore me. I feel so alone. And incredibly sad.

I have no one. I have nothing. I’d be better off gone I think.

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BrownEyesBlue profile image
BrownEyesBlue
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17 Replies

You're hurting due to awful experiences and just need support and its ok to need that. Its natural.

BrownEyesBlue profile image
BrownEyesBlue in reply to

Thank you. I’m in a bad place right now. I feel like all I’m doing is annoying or pissing people off 😔

in reply to BrownEyesBlue

No youre ok. Youre just hurting and need kindness and support as its a vulnerable period of your life. You're not annoying us

Lazy_dog_lover profile image
Lazy_dog_lover in reply to BrownEyesBlue

Do you have access to a counselor on tele-health?

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda

Couple of things , ur not broken & most importantly learn to rely on urself & not others , others tend to distance themselves from you as they don't know how to handle the situation.

Do you realise when the darkness is taking over or do you realise only after it takes a hold ? Once in the dark how do you pull urself out of it ?

Reason I ask is I've spent years trying recognise when the darkness is starting to move in but totally failed thus far , however I have 2 very powerful memories that help me snap out of the darkness. My memories are the birth of both my daughters , it an actual miracle that we can feel but not describe , thats from the father's or non pregnant side of things but it's amazing & I'm sat here smiling as I type remembering those important memories for me personally. It works everytime but my goal is recognise the onset of the dark & nip it in the bud fast with my memories.

BrownEyesBlue profile image
BrownEyesBlue in reply to DodgeDhanda

I only realize afterwards. I wish I knew beforehand.

Thank you for your reply ❤️

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to BrownEyesBlue

I'm still the same but as I say my 2 most positive life events drag me back & I've learned to shake it off.

I've not come across anyone who was able to learn their triggers when the darkness starts coming over & as you have already experienced no doubt, before u realise u wake up one day on that downward curve but these days I try to think of my power ups every other day as so I don't fall into that funk.

I hope you do have a special memory that is so strong & positive that neither the Justice League or The Avengers could break. I know it works for me & so I can only tell you of my experiences & it does get rid of those heavy dark clouds of anxiety and or depression in my case.

BTW you're most welcome

BrownEyesBlue profile image
BrownEyesBlue in reply to DodgeDhanda

Thankfully the darkness didn’t last long. That’s very good advice and I appreciate it more than you know ❤️

And I do have special memories; thank you for the tip 😊

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to BrownEyesBlue

Just hope it helps you as it has helped me.

Sprinkle1 profile image
Sprinkle1

STOP feeling sorry for yourself. We love you and think you are special. We all have our own special gifts. Do not listen to negative people, they will only bring you down. Love yourself, respect yourself, believe in yourself, I had to learn all these lessons, and my life changed. I do not care what other people think of me or say about me, they are not well themselves and project their insecurity's on to us, so we must Not listen. Set out plans for yourself and go ahead, some may work, some may not, but that is life, this is how we grow, believe me, I am about to be 79 and have fought a long battle, it was not easy, but I am at peace with myself, I live in happiness and peace everyday, it was a long road to get to here but well worth the battle I endured. You sound young, the sooner you start the better off you will be, if you are a reader try Dr. Scott Peck "The Road Less Traveled" it helped me so much, Amazon has it used/new. Go for it, I wish You well, write to us we will give you support and love.......

in reply to Sprinkle1

I have that book. Its brilliant! I havent finished it yet 🙂

BrownEyesBlue profile image
BrownEyesBlue in reply to Sprinkle1

Thank you! I’m doing much better. I was looking for a new read; thank you ❤️

I’m so appreciative of all the love and support this site gives me.

And you’re right, I shouldn’t be listening to other people and their opinions, it’s none of my business!

SirGrits profile image
SirGrits

Yeah BrownEyes I'm with Sprinkle and I'll add another negative person for you to ignore sometimes...yourself. I get a sense that you're really hard on yourself. Try to be kind to yourself there. I doubt very much that your relationship frustrations are of entirely of your own creation. Try and cut yourself some slack and relax. Humans are strange, cruel, beautiful creatures...kinda like cats methinks and I don't even like cats.Prayers and Godspeed.

Sprinkle1 profile image
Sprinkle1 in reply to SirGrits

Yes I agree with SirGrits, he reminded me how awful I used to be and was always beating myself up, therapy taught me to Love & Accept myself, respect myself, believe in myself, if I could do it, so can You. We love you and accept your for the special person you are, sending peace, love n Big Hugs.....

Lazy_dog_lover profile image
Lazy_dog_lover

I am totally there with you, today. So, neither of us are alone.

🤘

I am so physically exhausted from trying to live a normal life while recovering from car crash injuries. They just suck the energy out of me trying to walk and use my arms. I don't have the energy for the mental health fight, which is actually more important.

BrownEyesBlue profile image
BrownEyesBlue in reply to Lazy_dog_lover

I hope it gets better for you ❤️

Lazy_dog_lover profile image
Lazy_dog_lover in reply to BrownEyesBlue

And you as well.

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