Getting back to myself

[Lexirae_]

Okay so I’m a tattoo artist, I own my own little shop, right next to my house, it used to be super calming for me, it would be the one thing that would kind of distract me from my anxiety, until I had a panic attack while tattooing for the first time, since then I’m so afraid to tattoo because I tie tattooing to my panic attack (I know, stupid) even though I have panic attacks on a daily basis multiple times that one panic attack during tattoo turned me off it, it was the one single thing that’s helped me be calm and my anxiety ruined it, any advice on how to get back to doing what I love? I’m trying to find some positivity and advise on how to untie the two together 😩 should I take it slow? My brother is supposed to come in tomorrow for a new tattoo, which makes me feel a little better because it’s my brother, and he’ll understand but at the same time I’m freaked out because what if I freak out 😩 I’ve never messed a tattoo up, it’s what I love, even when I had the panic attack I finished up and then had a breakdown 😭 I’m so afraid of messing up the one thing I love that I’m afraid to enjoy it 😔

[Hidden]

Hello

This is awful, your favourite thing being ruined by this. It is a hard one to sort out because if you panic during a session someone will not get their tattoo finished there and then and it will make you feel even worse.

Maybe just work on your brother for now and yes take it slowly.. Does he know of your panicky attacks?

I'm sure it would be safer with him than anyone else..

[Lexirae_ in reply to Hidden]

That’s my biggest fear 😔 if I just stop or mess up it messes up my business forever, and then I’ll literally have nothing, I worked so hard to get to where I am, I’ve even had a piece featured in inked magazine, I feel so dumb because I have people wanting to set up appointments calling me daily but I tell them I’m out of town for a bit and I’ll get back to them 😔 my brother does know about my panic attacks and knows how bad my anxiety and panic surged this past month, and he said he’ll work with me! He’s bringing in a drawing he drew himself in 8th grade for me to do exactly like he did and I’m just so afraid to mess it up, I think I need to do this but on another thought I’m like maybe I can avoid doing it until I feel better knowing that moment won’t come without trying 😔

[Hidden]

Some Lexapro might help calm you down. It sounds like you are losing confidence in yourself. Don’t let it stop you though!

[Lexirae_ in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! I have a huge fear of medication, I won’t even take an ibuprofen but I’m starting to get to the point where I might have to push myself to try 😔

[jkl5500]

Have you watched any of Dr. Claire Weekes' videos on YouTube? She suffered from panic attacks herself, and developed a method to overcome them. Her books are available on Amazon.

[Lexirae_ in reply to jkl5500]

I’m going to look her up now! Thank you so much

[Dolphin14 in reply to Lexirae_]

I totally understand what you are saying. You now look at your work as a trigger. Did anything else happen that day? Something else that triggered something and the panic just happened to come out during your work?

I had a panic attack at our cottage on vacation a couple years ago. My favorite place in the world. The death of my dog triggered it. The fact that he would never be there with me again. I just lost it. I couldn't go back alone. I always had to have someone with me that whole summer.

I think working with your brother is a great first step. Get yourself right back in the game. Is it possible for him to hang around while you work on someone else? Just until you realize you can do this?

Wishing you the best of luck. Sounds like you love your work. Anxiety is awful. Keep telling yourself you can do this. Don't let it ruin your joy.

[Lexirae_ in reply to Dolphin14]

Yes!!! And i was up all night tattooing, then took a break after not eating all day I ate a bunch of pirogues, and maybe that made me bloated and my heart went faster, I noticed it, and it got sooooo much worse and into a full blown panic attack (I have hypochondria and I focus on my heart a lot, it’s the main cause of 90% of my panic attacks) I’m so sorry, losing a loved one or animal throws me in a downward spiral for a straight year or more 😔 thank you so much! I’m going to try on him tomorrow and see how I feel and take your advise and if I feel good see if he’ll stick around!

[Pearl67 in reply to Lexirae_]

Interesting! Lack of food and certain foods an definitely set us off! Many people with anxiety and depression issues have blood sugar issues. Also food sensitivity reactions that can really set off a horrible chain reaction!

Good observation. Claire Weekes, magnesium, omega’s, epsom salt baths, breathing techniques, lavender, & good support will all be of great help. If things are not at all better after implementing the above, perhaps counseling and/or medication.

Most anxious people have issues with meds....🙋🏻‍♀️Too! I have taken them though, and they helped me tremendously at that point in my life. I may be needing them again😳

[Carmencp]

Thats how this illness works. Im sorry you had a rough day. So, there are a lot of natural ways to deal with anxiety. St. Johns wart, bachs rescue remedy, essential oils as well. Look into it, if you do not want to take prescription medication. Best of luck

[kvolm2016]

Hi Lexirae, sorry to hear that this has become a challenge for you. I do hope it will be a one time thing that you are able to overcome after you work on your brother. Even though you mention that you have been opposed to medications, are you working with a counselor for coping strategies?

[Lexirae_ in reply to kvolm2016]

Thank you! I’m agoraphobic and freak out when leaving more then a block away from my house 😭 I had anxiety from 16-20 years old and it went away for a whole year, but stuff I did myself even if I had a panic attack I knew I was okay and it didn’t affect me, until one really big panic and boom it was back so I’m trying to settle it myself again but I really might have to talk to a professional because I’m driving myself crazy 😭

[kvolm2016 in reply to Lexirae_]

Gotta say that it is super impressive that you were able to deal with the anxiety on your own for that length of time, especially at that age! If you decide that counseling is something you want to consider, it doesn't have to mean leaving the house. There are helplines and phone counselors you could contact.

[Dolphin14]

Lexirae

Were you back on track with your tattooing? You feeling better?

[Lexirae_ in reply to Dolphin14]

I did the tattoo on him, and another one someone else (a small one on the customer) but I’m going to slowly work my way back into it 😊

[Dolphin14 in reply to Lexirae_]

Lexirae

That's awesome! Thanks for letting us know. Yes absolutely take your time.

[JA3344]

Thats cool your a tattoo artist but it does suck how anxiety can make you not interested in things that are fun or we love what i do is keep doing the things that once calmed or relaxed you even if its uncomfortable and things will get better i also got anxiety mainly health anxiety i think

[Lexirae_ in reply to JA3344]

Thank you 😊 and it’s literally the worst! I’m trying so hard to get back to normal but I’m not even sure what normal feels like anymore 😭 I hope you’re feeling okay!

[JA3344 in reply to Lexirae_]

Thanks yea its crazy how the mind can really play tricks on you also how anxiety can make you feel all sorts of physical symptoms im here if you need to talk to someone sometimes it hepls specially from someone who knows how it is having bad anxiety

[Lexirae_ in reply to JA3344]

Honestly! I really can think up symptoms and it’s so scary! I’m so overly sensitive to my bodily feelings that the smallest normal twinge is amplified by my mind and makes it 1000% worse 😩 thank you so much, you can always message me as well😊 it definitely helps talking to people who understand first hand