New around here: Hi all, hope you're... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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MissPickle profile image
8 Replies

Hi all, hope you're having a better day or night. So I made an account here to try to reach out to people who feel like me and maybe help others too. I'm 22, recently moved out of a not so good home. A lot of childhood trauma occurred, and I've been dealing with depression since I was about 16, and anxiety for even longer. I haven't been diagnosed, but I've spoken with a Psychologist and have an evaluation in a few weeks. Thing is, these things really prevent me from committing to moving forward in life. I save money but don't spend it on college or my driver's license that I've yet to get. I'm very scared of the commitment.

I want to learn how to finally start. Calling these places is very terrifying, I'm scared of looking stupid. 22 without anything to my name is very embarrassing and I try not to think about it. I have no friends, and I live with my boyfriend and his mom, who both want the best for me.

It almost feels like I don't want to get better, I'm used to being sad, that the change of something better is very scary. Anyway, I hope someone reads this and maybe relates to me. Thank you.

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MissPickle profile image
MissPickle
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8 Replies
Carmencp profile image
Carmencp

I have felt the same. This illness makes us feel this way. You reached out to support group and that is a first step. Keep moving fwd. You're not alone.

MissPickle profile image
MissPickle in reply to Carmencp

Thanks Carmen! After writing this post and opening up a bit, its really helped me mellow out tonight :)

Lexirae_ profile image
Lexirae_

Congratulations on making a step towards bettering yourself! Sometimes I feel the same way, like I’m so used to being anxious that if I’m “normal” then who am I? If you ever need to talk you can message me!

MissPickle profile image
MissPickle in reply to Lexirae_

Thanks Lexi! If you also ever need someone to talk to I'm free to message too. It's funny how you mention how feeling anxious is a "normal" feeling, its like a default feeling for me as well. When I dont feel anxious in situataions I should, it makes me anxious lol.

MsLockYourPosts profile image
MsLockYourPosts

Your boyfriend and his mom count as friends, so you have two special friends! Allow yourself to realize that that is enough for right now as you deal with making huge steps forward in your life. My sister has friends everywhere, but many of the relationships seem very surface only. I’ve always had a small and diverse handful of friends. Who’s life is better? It’s not a contest!

Lots of 22 year olds don’t have something tangible in their name. If college isn’t right for you right now, explore what is. My sister was number 6 in a family with 4 siblings with college degrees. College just didn’t work for her coming out of HS. She got a low level job and rose to the top in spite of herself. She made more money than I did with my masters in elementary Ed. She literally traveled the world trying to find herself. She went back to school years later, after finding a field she is passionate about, and has now completed a degree as well. Did that make her a better person? She has always been a great person.

I hope that you can look at your coming appointment as your first step towards finding your passion. There is nothing stupid about searching for your passion instead of trying to fit into some preconceived model of what you are expected to be!

MissPickle profile image
MissPickle in reply to MsLockYourPosts

Thank you MsLock! Sometimes its hard to move past the feeling of "being behind" in life, but I just need to focus on my own passions! I actually look forward to my appointments because I can start to get some answers in my life, and treatment moving foward.

pink318 profile image
pink318

Hello MissPickle,

Welcome to the group! I’m very sorry to hear about your struggles.

We are here for you and this group can be your friends too. I’m glad you have your boyfriend and his mom as your support.

Please stay strong. Stay in the forum and I’m hoping you will be encouraged.

I pray that you will give all your concerns to God knowing that He cares for you. I pray for peace and strength to keep you going and you will have your heart's desires . Take care. I hope to hear from you again. God bless :-)

God bless

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