Who Am I?

[greenmountains]

Over the years, I have challenged my inner notions when the idea presented itself that I may be exhibiting signs of depression and/or anxiety. I would challenge these thoughts by stating everyone gets down at times, and it's fine that I have no motivation because my family was lazy so it makes sense! Now, while in school, I'm realizing that it is more than I realized. My anxiety manifests itself in ways that I find to be typical of the definition of anxiety, yet not so typical in treating it. I'm an individual that chooses to not utilize medications which works for myself and my life style, yet my knowledge around the diagnosis still has not helped me to combat the symptoms presented. My anxiety presents itself with negative self-talk, low self-esteem, lack of motivation, paranoia around my partner cheating or leaving me, and a general disbelief in my abilities. I am able to acknowledge and articulate that my anxiety comes from a long history of emotional and physical abuse that has altered my perception and reality. I find myself frequently being jealous of and day dreaming about owning any level of confidence. My lack of confidence and diminished self-esteem have impacted my ability to seek out life in the ways I want. I find myself instead sitting in my bedroom focusing on my lack of motivation and fears around being judged if I fail or simply believing that I am not capable. I know that there are many benefits do engaging in yoga and mediation, providing time and space to allow my mind to wander, yet keeping on track while not in that zone, and lastly I know the importance of challenging negative thoughts with positive ones, yet it is all easier said than done. I see how many the anxiety impacts my social life, education, and romantic relationships yet summoning up the desire and courage to challenge this long standing notions is proving to be rather challenging.

[brokenlight]

I hear you & feel this.

Thank you for sharing & I’m sorry for your pain & suffering.

[Esther228]

Hi, I am so sorry that you are struggling with anxiety. It’s just so difficult to explain to someone who has never experienced it how out-of-control it feels. I have some good news in how I was able to work through my anxiety. I listen to Christain music, read the Bible, pray, and remind myself of who I am in Christ. These really helped me to overcome any negative feelings or insecurities that I dealt with (or that try to creep into my life). I believe that reading the Scriptures is so important because the Word of God teaches us how to be overcomers.

Do you attend church? If not, do you ever listen to any television pastors; such as, Dr. Charles Stanley, InTouch Ministries, or any other biblical teachers? It is so encouraging to me to read or listen to a devotional message. It helps to keep things in perspective.

You are doing such a good job of trying to get it figured out and I pray that you find the key to finding the peace in your heart and mind.