Why am I like this!!!

[Lulu02]

I’d been going to my friends work for the past two weeks right after I’d finish my shift and she was starting hers because it was right next door. A couple of times I’d gone in there for quite a long time around 20-30 minutes to rant to her then I’d go home. I’m so stupid, just 45 minutes ago today I’d had a bad day and needed to rant to her, whenever customers come in I’ll sit down sand what till she done with them and then continue ranting. Her boss loves me and always says hi. I’d been in there around 10-15 minutes and began to continue ranting after a customer had been served when the boss comes out to the front and starts repeatedly saying ‘go’ whilst making a shooing jester with his hands.

I can’t believe myself, of course he was getting annoyed by me. Why am I so stupid? I know not to distract people whilst their working. It’s common sense!!! Why do I have no common sense!!!! Why can’t I think before I do. I know not to do these things yet I always find my self caught doing them. What is wrong with me!!!!

I am never going to be able to walk into that shop again and I don’t deserve to. I am disrespectful, I would hate me too if I was in his position. He’ll never see me as the person that I appeared as before. I can never forgive myself.

I’m so rude

I’m so disrespectful

I am annoying

I’m so stupid

I’m an idiot

I can believe myself

I would I ever have though it was ok for me to do that

Why did I do that

I’m so dumb and stupid

I hate myself

[Sillysausage234]

Don’t take it personal see it from his way of thinking

[Lulu02 in reply to Sillysausage234]

Nonono I would be annoyed too if I were him, it was rude of me, any sane person would hate me

[Sillysausage234 in reply to Lulu02]

Just say oooops sorry .....he doesn’t hate you was probably under pressure maybe

[Lulu02 in reply to Sillysausage234]

I got a text from my friend, she did say he was having a bad day. I still don’t think I’ll ever be able to face him again knowing I upset him further.

[Hidden]

You found a person that will listen to you, you naturally go back where you feel supported. Text your friend or briefly stop by next time and ask when she’ll be free to talk when she’s not on the clock.

As far as you beating yourself up over this, stop it. Just say to yourself that stopping by was bad timing.

[Lulu02 in reply to Hidden]

He’s never going to look at me the same again, now he sees me as rude and disrespectful whereas before he liked me

[Hidden in reply to Lulu02]

You’re still in the negative mindset, placing these labels on yourself. He has thought nothing else about what happened...besides who cares what he thinks???

[Lulu02 in reply to Hidden]

I care 😬

[Lulu02 in reply to Lulu02]

I know I shouldn’t but I just can’t help but care

[Hidden in reply to Lulu02]

Maybe I should have worded it differently, he is a mere blip on your radar, what you should care about is how this might have affected your friend and placing your energy in a different place and overcoming the anxiety and hateful words you tell yourself you are because of this man. Hope this makes some sense. All the best.