The past few years were rough on me. No money, health problems, and social isolation were an everyday thing for me. At some point insomnia became my worst enemy. I couldn't sleep or eat and I was in the darkest place of my life. I began to believe that maybe I just needed to find a girlfriend and everything would be solved. But it was a lie. Deep down inside I carried a lot of anger and frustration towards the world and I had my own made believed reasons for it. Day & night I was tormented by my own reality.
After loosing my most recent job at some point an old friend came back into my life & invited me to his church. First of all I hadn't seen him in years. I thought to myself who does this guy think he is to want to change who I am. He doesn't know what I've been through myself. I don't need religion and I don't need him now. I can do it on my own. But I realized that doing things my own way never seemed to end well. I was torn in half between trying to decide if I should take my friend's hand or remain alone on my own deserted island until the next boat arrived. There was no telling when that would be. What'ts the worst that can happen I asked myself. So I decided to show up to his church that Sunday morning.
The place where I went that day was very different from any church that I had ever been, It felt more like a concert arena. The spiritual connection that I felt in there was just so powerful and intense. It wasn't easy transitioning from the old life that I knew into this more spiritual way of living. My biggest fear used to be becoming a religious zombie, but this wasn't that. It was something different. I became involve with the church every week and my broken relationship with God slowly began to heal. I saw changes slowly taking place in my life. My consciousness became clear. But that was only the beginning. I would soon encounter a strange supernatural connection that no words can describe. All I can say is that I went from this grey pessimistic unbeliever of Christ to someone who witnessed and felt the real power of God. There is nothing like going to bed knowing everything is going to be fine. All that exists is hope and love. No more weary endless sleepless nights. I'm choosing to write this down because it would be selfish not to.
To be continued.
i can’t accept the way things are
Anxiety and Depression has made life very hard for me.
How has your depression/ anxiety affected your children?
September is Suicide Awareness Month
I just need to vent, any helpful advice?
