Seasons of Friendships ending... Is this normal? Thoughts????

[autumnmarie5]

Many of my friendships are only around for "seasons" in my life and I am beginning to think it's because of me. I know that I always reach out and give the relationships my 100% but other girls my age, not so much. Not sure why the older you get the harder it is to make good genuine friends?? Does anyone go through stages like this???

[Agora1]

autumnmarie5 I think many of us including myself have had friends for a seasonand then they are gone. Finding a friendship that lasts a lifetime is a blessing.

You are young yet but as you get older and think back to those friends you had

sporadically was for a reason. Sometimes a learning experience but mostly about helping

you cope through those rough times in your life where you needed that support.

It happens when you least expect it and when it's suppose to. Believe in that you arenot doing anything wrong. xx

[autumnmarie5 in reply to Agora1]

Hello!!! I am so very grateful you took the time to read/comment on my post. It is greatly appreciated!! I appreciate your great words of advice as well. I think I needed that reminder or those words of encouragement. I know life goes on but those like us who struggle with their mental health it may be more detrimental to. Thank you for the encouragement and understanding

💕

[Hidden]

Heyy,You're not alone. I have always been in this situation a lot of time and I know when we're younger it feels like it's our fault but it's not! I don't know why it's like that with me 😅 but now I don't think about it much , i have friends but I don't feel connected to them at all and sometimes I question all these friendships too , but don't take it as it's your fault. I was like you too , I used question everything like why I don't have friends like other people and why my friendships Don't last longer , but I think as you grow you can differentiate between people and you eventually figure out why those friendship didn't last ? Right now I'm at a point where I think I only want friendships that helps me grow I don't wanna waste my time gossiping shit , so now I have like 2 friends left 😅 but I'm okay with it because I know that they're meaningful and genuine!

I hope my answer is not all over the place 😅 ( it's like I feel you but there's so much going on in my mind too 😂)

Don't overthinking about it! Friends will come and go. But you'll find genuine friendships too !

[autumnmarie5 in reply to Hidden]

Hey there, thank you for reading/commenting on my post! I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to give your feedback. Yes it sounds like you completely get what i'm saying!!! Yes I know I am only in my early twenties but I know I feel like an old soul.. plus struggling with anxiety some don't understand what we go through. I just always feel like I put in much more effort than others do then when I get tired of it instead of changing we just aren't friends anymore. It does suck but then you're right, I would rather have 2 really good genuine people than a bunch of them that I can't trust. Your answer did make sense and I will figure it out. It's good to know I'm not the only one that has lost quite a few friendships over the years

[Hidden in reply to autumnmarie5]

The key is to never overthink about the things you did from your side 😅 I used to beat myself for giving 100% and not receiving the same and that affected me a lot , but over the time I got over it and now I try to be best of myself and see how things go 😊

[covidZ]

I can only tell you about my experience's had had 3 friends maybe 4 they were all shit heads . and I loved them I miss them'and they are gone . I miss them so much . They were only around for their seasons . I wish I could give you an answer to your question . Maybe we are here to witness I just know . I would definitely like to discuss this more .I hope that you feel the comfort I do in knowing that we care about you and want your happiness to be realized.

[autumnmarie5]

Hey friend! Thanks for the kind words and sharing your experiences with your friends. It's a little better to know I'm not the only one that goes through this.. I do feel better now with the encouragement of others here on this website. I am an anxious person so people pleasing is my guilty pleasure that I can't seem to shake.. my boyfriend is encouraging in a way of telling me it's not me but then he tells me "let them go, you will find new ones" and I don't know if it's just me not a thing worries him but me, phew I can worry about someone looking at me the wrong way Lol😊

[Blueruth]

Yes. Most people do. Your world is much bigger than in high school. We have stronger bubbles for better or worse. But this is when you become a friend to yourself. Become comfortable in solitude. It is hard but important if you want more authentic relationships.

[autumnmarie5 in reply to Blueruth]

I appreciate this advice. Sometimes it's harder to remember that I need to be at peace with myself first. Thank you!

[Hidden]

Responsibilities grow as we age and maintaining friendships are exhausting to people. It was never you. True friends will accept you for who you are and love you for who you are. As you get older the self love you have for yourself will diminish the need for other people to be around you and you will pour into people who pour into you back out of choice. It’s really hard I know 😔 but for me it helps me to appreciate the people when I have them around. When the stage fades I cherish the memories but keep moving forward because we deserve people who check on us and make an effort for us. When they don’t and we continue to pour into them it’s not healthy for our mental health. Good luck this is just a reminder that it is normal.

[autumnmarie5 in reply to Hidden]

That's very true but can be hard to remember so I'm glad for this advice! Yes better for my mental health for sure, it just sucks it has to be this way sometimes.

[mantis-toboggan]

I think something easy to forget is that all we can do is our best. It sounds like you are putting time and effort into your relationships, and that's what's important! I know it can be easy to blame yourself for friendships fading, but something that might help is to remember that there are so many people out there that will match that energy and effort. It's can be really hard, but friendships do fade and sometimes that's alright. I'm 20 and have already been through this many times as well, and as far as I can tell so have so many people in their 20s! Hope you're well!

[Hidden in reply to mantis-toboggan]

I love this. Our best will be enough to keep those who are meant to be in our lives. I love this answer

[autumnmarie5 in reply to mantis-toboggan]

Yes!! It's hard to walk in life putting in all this effort but realizing not everyone is going to match that effort and if you base yourself on that you are failing yourself. I appreciate you being in my same age group and willing to reach out to me with such advice!

[Roxylox]

Absolutely! I haven't made a new friend in decades . Still have a couple of long standing ones, but the most l see any of them is 3 times a year, as they live a distance away.

[Hidden]

When we were in high school we have friends because we seen them everyday. Once you get out of school the connection usuallyndisappears because of the separate lives we live and ways that we go. If you live in an apartment people comr and go so there will be no stability there. If you own your own home and have neighbors and depending on interests and such, you'll probably just be neighbors. You're 23 and as you settle someplace youll gain friends from work or clubs or whatever your thing is. Sometimes people up and find new jobs or maybe they get married and they move on. Then you're back to square one. Today's times is different than years past where people years past were neighbors for life. With our ever explosive population people are always on the go and some people don't settle until they're older. Times changes things.🌻

[autumnmarie5 in reply to Hidden]

That's very true. Thank you for taking the time to comment on my post with such advice and encouragement

[Hidden in reply to autumnmarie5]

🌻🌻🌻

[DIsneyQueen]

Autumnmarie5, be kind to yourself. Sounds as if you are a good person and a good friend. All you can give is the best of yourself to the people God puts into your life. Some people come into your life for a season and some for a reason. Treasure them for what they are and don’t beat yourself up,

[autumnmarie5]

Amen! I appreciate you saying this. I know in the Bible it does state that there are different seasons in your life and change will happen. It's just sometimes more difficult to be susceptible to that change. Thank you for your kind words of encouragement