Endless loop

[Callie67]

I feel like so much time is passing and my situation isn’t changing at all. Which I know isn’t 100% completely true.. I guess it’s just not changing fast enough or drastically enough.

Still struggling with the concussion, but I know I’m not doing everything I should to help myself.

Still struggling with stress and anxiety but I think those are going to stay put until the concussion is under control. Plus I’m STILL tapering off this damn Ativan, which doesn’t help. I’m struggling with the Remeron increases. My psychiatrist said we can always add a second med if the Remeron isn’t enough but NO. I’m already increasing that while decreasing the Ativan. Juggling 3 freaking meds is NOT an option for me, 2 is hard enough. I don’t even want to be on ANY.

I’m pretty much out of money and am trying hard to sell clothes and things around the house so I don’t burden my husband with my bills. Working isn’t an option yet. I just want to fast forward a few months and be better already.

[Kat63]

I know it’s so hard to wait for things to get better, when you’re in a crap part of your life. It does seem like time drags when things aren’t going well.

[Callie67 in reply to Kat63]

Everyday feels the same. Even when I have a good day I can’t enjoy it bc I’m waiting for the next bad one.

[Kat63 in reply to Callie67]

I can relate to that. I had a bad day, then a good day, then a bad day, and then today was good. I really don’t want to dread tomorrow - it’s Saturday, after all!

[Callie67 in reply to Kat63]

Well I hope yesterday was good for you! It’s a super rainy Sunday where I’m at.

[Kat63 in reply to Callie67]

Yesterday started off terrible in the morning, but ended up being one of the better afternoons and evenings I’ve had for a long time.

Today seems pretty good so far. I’m still kind of holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

[Callie67 in reply to Kat63]

That’s progress! Like my husband days.. the good days start to string together and soon you’ll have more good days than bad. I always use that phrase, waiting for the other shoe to drop, so I know exactly what you mean.

[Ripley7]

Im sorry things aren’t improving quicker for you. I know the feeling. I feel like I’m going to be stuck in the toxic relationship I’m in with the bf. My 2 kids and I live with him in his house. I was so stupid to leave our run down crap trailer in a crap neighborhood that we both rented for a house that he bought in a city where he had a steady well paying job—that he hated. He’s a closet alcoholic and no one knows except me because he has no friends or family that live nearby. He’s told me that he at least doesn’t beat me so if I don’t like the way things are than I can get the f**k out.

Despite that he’s actually good to my kids and I rely on him watching them some weekends when I work double shifts at the restaurant I work at. The restaurant is seasonal and my children are young so I don’t have much choose with the hours they have to offer. Can’t find a better job- took me forever to find this one.

I’m so stuck and so lost and so mad at myself.

I really wish things would improve before I find myself without a home and the dad tries to take my kids from me.