I know I don’t have to be afraid but ... - Anxiety and Depre...

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I know I don’t have to be afraid but I am


I wrote a bunch then deleted it all. Felt good to write out my feelings but it did not take them away. I feel very scared. It’s a physical sensation in my stomach chest and throat. It’s an unknown fear; a belief that something bad will happen to my kids. I know it’s not helpful and I don’t believe I need to be afraid but well I am. It may be chemical. It may be from an overactive imagination. And though it feels okay to try to put it into words I also feel like people will not understand and I need someone to understand. It’s not specific worries that I am having, but an overall feeling. I used to trust my intuition but because my mental illness messes with me so much it seems like I lost the gift. Thanks for being here just around the corner.

54 Replies

Hi starrlight I like your name

It sounds like generalized anxiety that’s what I have also. I hate that feeling.

Are you on any medication or do you see any therapist or psychologist etc. I know it gets tiring worrying about all the possible bad outcomes of all the possible situations that could happen to your kids. I do the same thing with lots of issues. We have to get out of our head learn to realize when our thoughts are getting away from us. I’m trying to use every tool that I can find YouTube, books, therapist, medication. I don’t want to live like this no one should have to live like this. As a matter of fact just today I started keeping a journal. You’re really right on when you say it feels good to write it down. I hope you can find some peace today ☮️

Hi aworkinprogress how are you? So nice to read ya. So I think I just need to tell another person how I feel you know, to be heard. So I already cleaned for 5 hours straight and had some wine which actually may have made it worse and tried many other little things like time with my dog. Just now took some headache med and anxiety med so just the thought that I’ll feel better soon is good.

P.s. will you write out your feelings or about your day or just anything that pops in your head in the journal?

Get the same feelings and can so empathise it is generalised anxiety but it’s not life in reality it’s life our imagination is painting for us and false it’s borne from fears and turmoil from childhood try to not take the feelings too deeply and get on with your day they less importance you pay to the thoughts the less they will affect you try to concentrate on a craft or puzzle anything that you can focus on that will stop

You listening to what your mind is trying to create it’s false and nothing to do with reality of the world chin up hun it will get better 🙂xx

Starrlight in reply to Pat9

Thanks Pat! I appriciate it. I’m exhausted from it. Watching some funny and scary shows. The scary ones actually make my life seem not so terrifying.

Hey, my friend. Sorry you are feeling that way. But you're already a step up because you know it's not real. Hold onto the part of yourself that still realizes that anxiety is an artificial thought process created by chemical aberrations in your body. It will keep you grounded to life. As always, I am here for you. I will always tell you the truth and show you that you are a sweet, wonderful woman who loves her kids. Continue to try and focus on all the positives in your life and remember to run and excercise when you can. This helps balance those chemicals in your body and will make you feel better. My heart is with you and I'm pulling for you, my awesome friend!

It’s not real. Yet I’m still having a terrible time with it. But I don’t have to because it’s not real. Ha trying to get that into my head. Thanks JEG

I know exactly what you mean Star. That feeling is not fun, it really stinks. I hate it. Horrible.

In therapy Ive learned intuition is a quality that the authentic self posesses. It's totally different part that is scared and feeling anxious. There is a way to access the authentic self to take over. Are you currently seeing a therapist

That is very interesting...so I must not be being myself when I notice trouble with my intuition.

I have a therapist but I havent been in many months uh over a year.

Yes. You need to access it. What my therapist would say to your response is the nervous part is "blending in" with the authentic self.

It IS very interesting. You know when they say "the child part in me wants this or that" or " the child part in me feels unloved". Everyone walks around w their child part.

Oh yeah I haven’t thought of my child part for a while.

My therapist specializes in parts therapy. This is sort of therapy can help you if you're interested.

Sunniday ,that's made me feel a whole lot better knowing our intuition is only lost temporary ,as we are out of sorts so to speak ,mine is beginning to show signs of returning ,as I slowly get back to where I was just over a year ago..hope you have more interesting news to impart along those lines ,im not in therapy yet ,but im certainly looking and maybe you have some advice regarding the type of therapist to go for.Hope this finds you well ,after your bad weekend.(which I too suffered).

I will ask my therapist tomorrow about what type of therapy she uses. She's a specialist. She's helped me so much.

thanks have you been seeing her for very long;I did go to a psychotherapist acouple of weeks ago ,bit pricey,but I just went to see if I was ready,;I think ,correct me if im wrong tend to listen,rather than interconnect?have tou found that to be the case.

Ive been seeing her for about 5 years. I initially suffered from general anxiety disorder and PTSD. I now only suffer from occasional social anxiety.

Yes, I understand what u are saying. Initially that have to take in your "story"

can you emphasise a bit more regarding social anxiety as I have had that all my life ,in fact,im at a stage ib ny life where socialising has been a no no, though I had been trying last yearto join things ,but never amounted to much as my anxiety overwhelmed me among other things ,

Im going to pm you. It's just easier. Is that ok?

I just hope my settings /whatever are ok to pm--but try anyway thanks.

I sent u a pm

hi ,could see the pm but didn't know where to type hope you get this ---don't know much about navigating ect,

ok u see it, good.

Click on it

Hi. I got the name of the therapy my therapist uses. It's called Parts therapy.

hi,what does it mean Parts therapy,never heard of it ,will google later.hope you are well.

I can relate to this - feeling like it's hard to trust myself. It's been odd for me to hear that I can't trust my own mind.

Although now that I write this, I guess it's more that I don't have to listen to every single thought I have.

jkl5500 in reply to LovelySnow

You might be interested in "You Are Not Your Brain", by Jeffrey Schwartz, MD.

LovelySnow in reply to jkl5500

Does he talk about brain chemistry? Although I could be wrong, I don't necessarily agree that depression is simply and only due to a "chemical imbalance" in the brain. I just feel like it can be so much more complex than that.

Sunnidayz1 in reply to jkl5500

Ive read this book. Dr Schwartz speaks of the lies that the brain just throws at us. Hence, "You are not your brain". It is an interesting read. However, it doesnt delve into the thought and emotion connection and the body's fear response.

JEG325 in reply to Sunnidayz1

Sunni, LS, depression & other mental problems can be caused by any number of things. But an ideally healthy body can recover from it. It is when our body is weakened by outside stimuli too, such as chemicals in food, water & the environment, that our mental issues become something entirely different and entrench themselves inside your brain and body. Optimal health such as proper diet, exercise, replacing missing and deficient nutrients, associating with outside people & helping others, can make you both far more resistant to mental health issues, as well as more capable of recovering from them!

Sunnidayz1 in reply to JEG325

Yes I can see your point and I do agree that our environment can have a profound effect on really anything in the body including the brain of course. I think it's important to point out that what you are stating is another theory. Psychiatrists believe it's a chemical imbalance. Therapists believe it's behavioral. I believe it's both. I also believe what you eat helps but I dont believe it helps as much as the above. This is only my opinion of course😉

I believe it’s both too.

JEG325 in reply to Sunnidayz1

Sunni, common sense dictates that if you eat, drink and breathe poison you will get sick. The vast majority of people in the US are sick and in poor shape. Statistics prove that beyond the shadow of a doubt! It is no 'theory' that poor environmental conditions worsen everything we do and hamper our health's well being at every turn. It's so bad now that even if you wanted to, you couldn't be 100% healthy! It's a near physical impossibility! What do you think is causing the chemical imbalance in our brains and nody? And once this occurs, of course behavioural changes and problems follow. The best way to combat the problem is with proper diet, nutrition, excercise and to interact with plenty of people who will have a positive affect on your psyche. Replace the missing chemistry in your body and brain's make up if you can find it and then try and exist as best you can in this crazy, messed up world!

Sunnidayz1 in reply to JEG325

I understand what you are saying. And yes, I know that all of the above can have a positive effect on mental well being. I totally agree. I just don't believe that it can be cured in that way. Sorry🤷‍♀️ it's just what I believe😬

JEG325 in reply to Sunnidayz1

Did I say that would cure it? Probably only God can cure this mess man has made of its own world but, I am suggesting what I feel is the best overall course in managing our physical and mental problems. It is only a suggestion based on a lifetime of experience. Experience which is watching the environment, medical care, diet & life in general decline at a continuous and alarming rate!

Sunnidayz1 in reply to JEG325

When you used the word "combat" I thought u meant cure. And yes, again, I agree with you eating well, being physically fit can help. And yes some mental illnesses can be cured. Im living proof.

JEG325 in reply to Sunnidayz1

You are an awesome example of someone with the willpower, courage and strength to outlast mental problems. I look up to you for that, my friend!

Sunnidayz1 in reply to JEG325

Aww..you're the best John

.thank you!

I work hard on it. No doubt about that.

JEG325 in reply to Sunnidayz1

I am your friend and I believe in you 100%! It's that simple, Sunni!

Sunnidayz1 in reply to JEG325


LovelySnow in reply to jkl5500

Not that I'm against medicine or anything. I just think recovery can need more than just medicine.

I agree. Absolutely.

Hi Starr,

When my adult son is depressed and anxious, i always remind him that

"feelings are not facts". He says it helps him to keep repeating it until he believes it. Simple but effective.

He asks me to pray for him and he tells me it helps. He's 56 yrs old and

has had bipolar since childhood. He has a good wife, a "cushiony" job,

material things including a Mercedes, yet the lows of bipolar make him

act like a child when he needs his Mom. I'm the only one he wants.

But as you know, Starr, a chemical imbalance can be cruel.

I know you appreciate having an outlet here. Venting is quite okay.

Agape, as always your friend.

Starrlight in reply to newbie56

Thanks for sharing about your son. Feelings are not facts feelings are not facts...but after a while of the terrible feelings it’s almost unbearable fact or not you know?

newbie56 in reply to Starrlight

Starr, I agree with you.

I certainly don't have the definitive answer to bi-polar but earnest , persistent prayer has helped many to cope with all forms of mental illness. I myself have suffered extreme anxiety many years but am thriving today without medication.

The key for me is trust in the one who created the brain. He knows

we're all flawed due to imperfection we inherited. Yet, there's hope.

Our life is precious even so.


Starrlight in reply to newbie56


Did you plant anything

Hi Alan! I ended up watching my littlest plant. He planted A LOT of seeds in pots and sprayed them with plant food. Something is bound to grow.

Very good 😁

Ya man!


As a mum myself I really get what you are saying and can empathise with your feelings.

Love the black and white flower photo.


Starrlight in reply to Kkimm


honestly...with a world turned upside down and media reports usually not uplifting....high taxes and workplace being so full of mean and angry people....common decency and civility lacking at times...people becoming more and more isolated as communities and Churches decline...text message relationships...why wouldn't anyone be afraid for their children?...some of us here know first hand that very bad things can happen to us that we have little control over these...reality is, we're terrified sometimes...compound that with a mood disorder...it sucks...I don't know about you all....but I have a really hard time sometimes, setting reality of what this life is, on a back burner so I CAN function. Concrete thinking....perhaps, but after being nailed so many times?...and today I am so not going to allow this to take me down, even if it means suffering through a Jason Statham flick to get the courage moving

Starrlight in reply to Bluesos

The reality of what this life is is confusing,eh? I think so.

Bluesos in reply to Starrlight

life is full of danger and bad things that happen, which are beyond out control

Starrlight in reply to Bluesos

True and we can try to focus on that or try to focus on all the beauty around and strength and light inside us but sometimes mental illness must cause it to be hard to see and feel the positive. I think sometimes we fight and sometimes we accept and wait it out.

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